A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team this past week. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off below the article.
1) John: “Merlyn assures me that he’ll be waving the white flag.” Merlyn: “I’m sorry – I forgot the flag.” Laurel: “That’s too bad. I would have told you where you could put it.” (Tonya)
2) Felicity: “You don’t really believe Merlyn?” John: “Looking at this, we can’t afford not to believe Merlyn.” Felicity: “He’s a mass murderer who has lied to us so many times, it should be a drinking game.” (Tonya)
3) Merlyn: “Can you bring it down from the sky?” Felicity: “No, they just turned my gear. I had some insurance come along.” Merlyn: “What kind of insurance?” Felicity: “The atomic kind. (Tonya and Robert)
4) Felicity: "Hey Oliver! What's going on?" Oliver: "If any of you speak, we're all going to die." Felicity: "What?" Oliver: "I need you to trust me." (Daniel)
5) Oliver: "Malcolm, we need help." Malcom: "By all accounts, you were too good at allying yourself with Ra's and I don't think I carry much credibility with them." (Daniel and Robert)
.jpg)
1) Spencer: "Not you too. Am I getting another godson?" (Jimmy and Laura)
2) Rossi: "Are you dumb, Alex?" (Laura)
1) Liv: "We have nothing in common other than being half dead. That is not the basis of a healthy relationship." (Ben)
2) Ravi: Do you think this is how Oppenheimer felt staring down at the A-bomb? Liv: Like a drama queen?
3) Ravi: "I believe he was on his way to murder me and eat my brains. Why isn't he tearing into you?" Liv: "Oh it's a zombie thing. You wouldn't understand. Zombie brains are nasty. You wouldn't want those. No you wouldn't. No, you wouldn't." Ravi: "Uh, that rat you're doting on like a pursed Chihuahua could end civilization as we know it."
4) Liv: "I can't help it. I'm filled to the brim with insight." Ravi: "Oh that's what you're full of."
5) Peyton: "I have a feeling people who are friends with social workers don't ask this question a lot but who were you fighting with this week?" Major: "Sons of Anarchy I think.The guards commuted their sentence to 20 minutes of beating the hell out of me."
6) Liv: "Major doesn't get dumped. There are literally 2 reasons to end a relationship with Major: zombism and full on death." (Dahne)
7) Liv: "He's white and murderous. You did it. You made a zombie rat." (Dahne)
.jpg)
1) Gibbs: "You know, I don't like to talk either. You talk too much people end up thinking they heard things you never said."
2) Ducky: "We cannot always build a future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future." (Daniel)
3) Gibbs: "I had a daughter. She used to to sit right there at the table where you were. She took my pocket knife from me once. Knife wasn't a toy and she knew that. She climbed up here. And she took that knife and she carved her initials right in the back of that cabinet there. And lost the best pocket knife that I ever had." Luke: "What'd you do?" Gibbs: "I scolded her. Grounded her. Then I forgave her." (Daniel)
1) Jenny:"Love forces a person to choose"
2) Claire: "Have you no shame? Your nephew lies rotting in prison under a death warrant and you make a play for his wife?" Dougal: "I've never known you to act like an empty headed woman before, so don't start now."
3) Claire: "I'm searching for my husband and I have to sing that song, and once I've found him, I promise you, I will never set foot on stage again."
1) Root: "Get in the game" (Jimmy)
2) The Machine: "Can you hear me?" Reese: "Hell yeah." (Ben)
3) The Machine: "Father. I am sorry. I failed you." Finch: "We haven't failed yet." The Machine: "I didn't know how to win. I had to invent new rules." Finch: "You had an impossible challenge. One I never programmed you for." The Machine: "I thought you would want me to stay alive. Now you are not sure." Finch: "That's not true..." The Machine: "If you think I have lost my way maybe I should die." The Machine: "I will not suffer." Finch: "I can't let you die." The Machine: "If I do not survive, thank you for creating me." (Justyna and Robert)
1) Cyrus to Susan Ross - "You stole a United States servicewoman?" (Jimmy)
2) Olivia: “How’s it going next door?” Huck: “I should probably go check on him.” Virgil: “What’s going on next door?” Olivia: “Renovations. My friend Jake is a contractor.” (Tonya)
3) Jake: “Liv, Russell is not your average B-6 13 agent. He’s like me.” Liv: “He’s nothing like you.” Jake: “A guy runs into you in a public place. It seems random, casual. He flirts a little and then, what a surprise, you run into him again. You’d be bothered by the coincidence except he says all the right things. He’s nice but with a bit of an arrogant edge, persistent but aloof. It’s all just enough to pique your interest. And you don’t even think about the fact that he’s been studying you for months, surveilling your every move, listening to your every call, getting a PhD in Olivia Pope because your father told him to. He’s been hand-picked, groomed, trained. He’s exactly like me. Your father made Russell – and he made me. We both came off the same assembly line. The only difference is that I’m in love with you. Command would call that a defect. Russell does not have that defect. With Russell, Rowan built a better me. So believe me when I tell you, you can torture Russell all you want. But it will never make him talk. (Tonya)
1) Cisco: "If I hadn't seen Jurassic Park, I wouldn't be nearly as frightened right now."
2) Eddie: "You know they're going to find me, and you. You're not as smart as you think you are." Wells: "Oh really? I'm a genius where I come from. Imagine how smart that makes me here." Eddie: The future? With a name like Eobard, I guess you'd have to be." Wells: "Eobard is a distinguished name for a distinguished member of a distinguished family." Eddie: "It's depressing to think all of my descendants are as crazy as you." (Dahne)
3) Barry: "What is a grodd?"
4) Cisco: "Hey forget multiple personalities.You guys have seen The Exorcist, right?" (Dahne)
5) Barry: "What's going on? Are you okay?" Cisco: "I'm just thinking about this headset. It wasn't strong enough. You could have been killed out there, man." Barry: "No dude, your tech worked and it proved that we don't need Wells. The 3 of us took on Grodd and rescued Joe. Together, we can do anything." (Dahne)
6) Joe: "So our psycho killer has a soft spot for animals. That's sweet." (Dahne)
1) Joe to Ryan: "Don't worry, you still have me" (Jimmy)
2) Mark: "If you give us any trouble, I'll be roasting marshmallows off your face." (Robert)
3) Gwen: "How? He's dead and you can't let him go. He owns a part of you that I can't reach. You know, I'm tired of trying."
1) Alicia: “I’m having a crisis of confidence – and it’s taking up all my time.” Finn: “I see. So it probably wouldn’t help to tell you to get back on the horse, huh?” Alicia: “It’s just different when you’re embarrassed and everyone’s staring at you.”
Finn: “From what?” Alicia: “The election.” Finn: “Well, here’s the good news. You’re not that important. People aren’t staring at you. People are way too busy getting on with their lives.” (Tonya)
2) Alicia: “You know what? We’re better lawyers now.” Cary: “Makes sense. We were young.” Alicia: “Yeah but there’s still something I miss about it.” Cary: “What?” Alicia: “Looking at the law as something good.” Cary: “Do you think it’s not good?” Alicia: “Nah, I think it’s neutral.” (Tonya)
1) Gabi: "Breakfast should be your most important meal of the day, not your last." (Dahne)
2) Elliot: "Can you come over to my house and watch me sleep?" Yolanda: "I would but The Exorcist is on and watching that sounds a little less scary." Elliot: "I can get you front row seats to see Usher:" Yolanda: "I'm gonna need your address, a key, and some holy water." (Dahne)
3) Yolanda: "Getting into bed with a man and not touching. It's like I'm married all over again."
4) Gabi: "Hey, you know what a great gift for Shauna would be?" Josh: "A therapist. Thanks to you."
5) Shauna: "Hugs are for people who haven't slept with my daughter." (Dahne)
Honorable Mentions
Battle Creek "Gingerbread Man"
1) Spades: "So I would urge you to forget about me and concentrate on catching someone who's actually done some harm instead of providing for the greater good, which is all I ever did. But if you insist on continuing to pursue me, I assure you innocent people will get hurt." Russ: "What the hell does that mean?" Spades: "Seriously? That was confusing to you? I will do whatever it takes to stay a free man." (Dahne)
2) Russ: "You got a credit card receipt?" Butcher: "Nope, I prefer not to support the loan sharking industry."
3) Russ: "Are you telling me that I need a sandwich right now, Jaycocks?" Funk: "Or whatever it takes for you to calm down. Get a grip on yourself because you seem to have a whole lot of ideas on what not to do but so far no suggestions on what to do. You're not the only one who feels responsible in this. We all do, together…us." (Dahne)
CSI: Cyber “Click Your Poison”
1) Nelson: "Bluetooth is a hacker's best friend." (Dahne)
2) Krumitz: "That man's a superhero with a kid." (Dahne)
Forever “The Last Death of Henry Morgan”
1) Henry: "I'm not a killer. I'm a doctor." (Dahne)
2) Abe: "For me she was…she was an angel. She found 2 lost souls and turned us into a family. Thank you, mom. I love you." (Dahne)
3) Abe: "Henry, listen to me. You're a kind, gentle, moral person, but a killer you're not. Don't let rage cloud your judgment. You'll lose." (Dahne)
Grimm “Headache”
1) Monroe: "Whoever that was I am done trying to help it." Rosalee: "Me too. She could have killed Monroe." Hank: "I'm out too." Rosalee: "That b**." (Dahne)
2) Nick screaming, "No!" over and over (Dahne)
3) Hank: "What if Jack's not gone?" Rosalee: "Then shoot him for real."
4) Bud: "I don't know how you guys do it, living with all this tension all the time." Hank: "For one thing, we don't use bats." (Dahne)
5) Hank: "Hold on. Before we go in there, if he's dealing with what we think he's dealing with, who the hell are we gonna be talking to?" Nick: "Or what?" Hank: "Okay, that didn't help at all." (Dahne)
Orphan Black “Newer Elements of Our Defense”
1) Alison: “Hey. Why are you sweatier than usual?” (Tonya)
2) Felix: “Expensive perfume, pretentious French cigarettes – and oh yes, Eskimo pie.” Cosima: “Don’t go there, Felix.”
Felix: “Cosima, this jumper absolutely reeks of pining.” (Tonya)
3) Helena: “You say you love boys, but you lie. You’re a shit mother.” (Tonya)
Person of Interest “YHWH”
1) Root: "Well, I’ve got one-and-a-half clips, a Metrocard, and God’s either dead or running on double-As.”
Supernatural “Dark Dynasty”
1) Dean: "They helped Hitler get started along with God knows what else, probably disco." (Dahne)
2) Sam: "How you doing?" Dean: "Oh you mean the thing?" Sam: "Yeah, yeah." Dean: "I'm having some dark thoughts, creepy visions, violent urges. Same old same old. I'm happy I've got a murder to focus on though." (Dahne)
3) Rowena: "Quite literal, aren't you? Does he know that the first rule is don't tell your brother what we're doing?" Cas: "Dean doesn't know? Sam, this never ends well." Charlie: "That's exactly what I said." Sam: "Okay, everyone take a breath. Look we're up against it, okay? And we've all been up against it before and we know there are times when every choice sucks. You know us…lying to Dean is the choice that sucks the least. We have to make this work, please." Charlie: "Okay, yeah. For Dean." Sam: "Cas?" Cas: "Okay…for Dean." Sam: "For Dean." Rowena: "I barely know the man."
4) Rowena: "And you studied your craft, where?" Charlie: "Mostly a joint called Moss Java. It has excellent wi-fi." Rowena: "I have not heard of this institution and I know all the great global centers of witchcraft." Charlie: "Makes sense because I'm not a witch. I'm a nerd and I know all the great centers of nerdom." (Dahne)
5) Dean: "Something on your mind?" Cas: "No, this call is pointless." (Dahne)
As always, thank you for reading! Let me know in the comments what some of your favorite quotes this past week have been!
