A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. "Mr. Cole is just a memory now, as the past was intended to be. This morning, yesterday or thirty years; it's all just a million firing neurons given meaning by the human mind." (Darth Locke)
2. Matthew: "Look at that. He's a good boy." Cole: "He won't always be. But I'm trying to make up for it." *Pause "I'm sorry I can't..." Matthew: "Hey, don't use that word. The only failure..." Cole: "Is giving up." Matthew: "Exactly." (CP)
Agents of SHIELD -
1. Commander Gonzales: ”I wish you were the man you were even two years ago – but by all accounts, you’re not.” Coulson: “You didn’t know me then. And you don’t know me now.” Commander Gonzales: “I know that Fury brought you back from the dead.” Coulson: “Right. I didn’t ask for that, but I’ve come to appreciate the gesture.” (Sharon Seymour)
2. Skye: "Fitz, why did you make me watch Paranormal Activity?" (Bradley Adams and Dahne)
3. Gonzales: "Let's just hope we don't live to regret this, Agent Morse." Hartley: "Let's just hope we live." (Bradley Adams and Dahne)
4. Coulson: "That's a lot of umbrellas for one drink." Bartender: "Let me guess, she got the house." (Bradley Adams and Dahne)
5. Mac: "You know we can do this. Since when do you not fight for what you believe in."
Gonzales: "You have your orders, Agent Morse. This is not a democracy." Bobbi: "Maybe it should be. We can't keep pretending that everything's the same as it was yesterday. I mean look around. Half of our friends are either dead or turned. It's not a time to go down with the ship. We need to do something. We need to stop this. We're taking back this damn ship whether you like it or not." (Dahne)
Arrow -
1. Felicity: “Oh, I think your nano-tech deserves some of the credit. All I did was stick something in you. Do you think there will ever come a time when everything I say isn’t some weird double entendre?” Ray: “I hope not. It’s one of your more charming traits.” (Sharon Seymour)
2. Felicity: "Please tell me you have a brilliant plan." Oliver: "I don't even have a regular plan." (Bradley Adams)
3. Lance: "You, Mr. Queen are not a hero. You're a villain." (Bradley Adams)
Bates Motel -
1. Caleb: "It just happened. You know, she was more than a sister to me. I mean she was my whole world, my whole life, and I loved her. You can't help who you love, but your mom? She was smarter than me. One day, she came home and said it was bad, you know, we couldn't, anymore. And the way she looked at me, I couldn't breathe. You know, I loved her more than anything and I just couldn't let her go. I hate myself for it. I know I don't deserve it, but I wish I could say I'm sorry. That's all I want. She doesn't have to forgive me, I just want to tell her I'm sorry before I never have another chance." (Dark Locke)
2. Sheriff Ramero: "Chaos seems to swirl around you, but I'm not sure why and I want to believe you're telling me everything you know, but none of this makes any sense. Why would this girl, after she's been shot, make the effort to drive here? Why?" (Darth Locke)
Better Call Saul -
1. Chuck: "I know you. I know what you were, what you are. People don't change. You're Slippin' Jimmy. And Slippin' Jimmy I can handle just fine but Slippin' Jimmy with a law degree is like a chimp with a machine gun." (Darth Locke, Tonya Papanikolas, and Bradley Adams)
2. Mike: "I've known good criminals and bad cops, bad priests, honorable thieves. You can be on one side of the law or the other, but if you make a deal with somebody, you keep your word. You can go home today with your money and never do this again, but you took something that wasn't yours and you sold it for a profit. You are now a criminal. Good one, bad one, that's up to you." (Darth Locke, Tonya Papanikolas, and Sandi)
3. Jimmy: "Hail Satan. I submit to the dark side." (Bradley Adams)
4. Jimmy: "How about hamlindigo blow me?" (Bradley Adams)
5. Chuck: "You're not a real lawyer. University of American Samoa, for Christ's sake. An online course? What a joke. I worked my ass off to get where I am. And you take these shortcuts and you think suddenly you're my peer? You do what I do because you're funny and you can make people laugh? I committed my life to this! You don't slide into it like a cheap pair of slippers and reap all the rewards." Jimmy: "I thought you were proud of me." Chuck: "I was. When you straightened out and got a job in the mailroom, I was very proud." Jimmy: "So that's it then, right? Keep old Jimmy down in the mailroom. He's not good enough to be a lawyer." Chuck: "I know you. I know what you were, what you are. People don't change. You're Slippin' Jimmy. And Slippin' Jimmy I can handle just fine. But Slippin' Jimmy with a law degree is like a chimp with a machine gun. The law is sacred! If you abuse that power, people get hurt. This is not a game. You have to know on some level, I know you know I'm right. You know I'm right." Jimmy: "I got you a 20-pound bag of ice. And some bacon, and some eggs, and a couple of those steaks that you like. Some fuel canisters. It's enough for three or four days. After that, you're on your own. I am done." (Sandi)
The Blacklist -
1. Liz: "You are my greatest failure as a profiler." Tom: "You're my greatest success. You made me feel, for a moment, like I had a life and that somebody cared." (Tonya Papanikolas)
2. Liz: "That's not how the truth works. You don't get to pick and choose - not if you want to learn how to swim." (Tonya Papanikolas)
The Flash -
1. James Jesse/Trickster: “I’ve had 20 years to come up with the perfect trick. It’s going to be my masterpiece, my Mona Lisa, my Breaking Bad — season 5. They gave me cable in prison so I’d stop killing the guards.” (Sharon Seymour, Bradley Adams, Sandi, and Dahne)
2. Jesse: "The real reason I tracked you down and groomed you to be the best you could possibly be. Axel I am your father." (Sandi and Dahne)
3. Cisco: "Talking in the third person. That's never a good sign." Caitlin: "You're just mad because he named himself." (Bradley Adams)
The Goldbergs -
1. Murray: "Here, for your demo." Erica: "But we agreed you're going to talk to mom." Murray: "And I will. But I just need you to know that there's nobody else out there like you. Nobody. Look I got my dream. I got this house, I got the family, I got you, and if this is what you really want, I say go for it. To a parent that's scary as hell, but I can't have you live your life thinking I held you back." Erica: "Dad." Murray: "Yeah." Erica: "What you said. That was really….thank you." Murray: "Anything for you, peanut." (Dahne)
2. Erica: "But then in the end I will be bigger than Tiffany and Debbie Gibson…but not Madonna because I'm realistic." (Dahne)
3. Pops: "Kiddo, I fought in a real war. Trust me, there is no winner." (Dahne)
Helix -
1. Kyle: "I lost my mom too, when I was just a few years older than you. I still think about her every day. That way she's always with me no matter what." Soren: "But my mom was my only family, and now I'm all alone." Kyle: "I'll be your family now, if you want." (Robert Fruin)
2. "Julia: What was he like; Michael? What kind of man was he?" Alan: "Loved the sound of his own voice." Julia: "A Narcissist?" Alan: "A lunatic." (Robert Fruin)
3. Alan: "That's the thing it was too easy. I killed all those immortals for you Jules, and I would have killed 10,000 more. For you. " Julia: "You were the one Alan, your the closest I came to knowing anyone, and I tried to let you know me too, but there was just something missing." Alan: "I was missing." Julia: "No, it wasn't you. I know you want to believe you could have done things to change things,but it's me. Its what I am. My father, Hatake, Immortality, arctic bio-systems was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me because I finally made sense." (Robert Fruin)
iZombie -
1. Liv: “I never felt like a monster until I ate Marvin. Now that he’s almost of my system I’m desperate for another hit because when Marvin’s gone my feelings come back. And after what happened to Marcy, after what I did to Marcy. Do I really want to feel that? One bite will make it all just float away. But I can’t let it float away. Whatever I feel won’t be a fraction of what Marcy went through in the dark. Marcy was real, she was alive, she was a person and I killed her. That’s the thing about pain isn’t it? Really feeling it doesn’t make it stop it just shows you you’re still alive.” (Nirat Anop)
2. Liv: "There are already 2 zombies, me and Blaine. Now there may be a third? Two's company. Three's a horde." (Dahne)
3. Liv: "If we're lucky that zombie photo is just a dumb teenage prank." Doc: "Better safe than the apocalypse." (Dahne)
4. Liv VO: "The last thing I want to do is have another flood of psychopathic thoughts bringing out my inner b**, but when Popeye faces Bluto out comes the spinach. If it'll up my shot at a vision, then let's pop the top on the leftover cerebellum." (Dahne)
Nashville -
1. Rayna: "You might die. But if you do, I would rather have us be together the way we were always meant to be, for as long as possible. And if something horrible happens, well then I'd rather my girls have the opportunity to see what true love looks like. I don't ever want to protect them from that, even if it ends. You are not gonna be able to protect us from the pain of this, you're just not. So let's at least experience the joy of whatever life has to offer for us - right now. Please stop fighting me. Fight for us. We screwed this thing up a million times, but we're not gonna do that now. Now we're gonna seize the opportunity to be together and to be happy." (Tonya Papanikolas)
Once Upon a Time -
1. August: “There have been many authors throughout time. It’s a job, not a person, and the one trapped in here was just the last tasked with the great responsibility. To record… to witness, the greatest stories of all time and record them for posterity. The job has gone back eons: From the man who watched shadows dance across cave walls and developed an entire philosophy, to playwrights who tell tales of poetry, to a man named Walt. Many have had this sacred job. Great women and men who took on the responsibility with the gravity that it deserved.” (Nirat Anop)
2. The Sorcerers Apprentice: “We are all born as blank slates with the potential for good and evil and with the gift of free will and we can choose between the two. (Nirat Anop)
3. Maleficent: “What kind of people are you threatening a child?” Snow: “A child? This isn’t a child. This will become a monster just like you.” Maleficent: “And what are you?” Snow: “I’m sorry.” Maleficent: “Wait. Please. Mother to mother, have mercy, I can’t lose my child.” (Nirat Anop)
4. Mr Gold: "My magic comes at a cost, as you know, and I've racked up so much debt I can never be clear of it unless I find a way to change the rules." (Robert Fruin)
5. Regina: "No one goes near Henry but me. If you have a problem with that you can take it up with one of my fire balls." (Robert Fruin)
Outlander -
1. Jamie: “Strange, the things you remember. The people. The places. The moments in time burned into your hearts forever while others fade in the mist. I’ve always known I’d live a life different from other men and when I was a lad I saw no path before me, I simply took a step and then another forward, ever onward rushing towards some place, I knew not where. And one day I turned around and looked back and saw that each step I'd taken was a choice. To go left, to go right, to go forward or even not go at all. Every day, every man has a choice, between right and wrong, between love and hate, sometimes between life and death and the sum of those choices becomes your life. The day I realised that, is the day I became a man.” (Nirat Anop)
2. Claire: “I’m sorry Jamie, forgive me.” Jamie: “Forgiven. I’m sorry too. Ask you pardon for what I said, I said more than I meant. You forgive me too?” Claire: “Forgiven.” Jamie: “She asked forgiveness and I gave it but the truth is I’d forgiven everything she’d done and everything she could do before that day. For me that was not choice, that was falling in love.” (Nirat Anop)
3. Jamie: “Wives obey their husbands, husbands discipline them when they don’t. Now that's how it was with my father, his father and on and on and on back. But maybe for you and me it has to go a different way. I swear on the cross of my Lord Jesus and by the holy iron which I hold that I give you my fealty and pledge you my loyalty. If ever my hand is raised in rebellion against you again, then I ask that this holy iron may pierce my heart. Is that not enough Claire? Do you not want me anymore? Do you wish to live separately.” Claire: “I feel that’s what I should want. But I don’t.” Jamie: You are my home now.” (Nirat Anop)
4. Jamie: "She asked forgiveness and I gave it, but the truth is I'd forgiven everything she'd done and everything she could do long before that day. For me, that was no choice, that was falling in love" (Robert Fruin)
5. Jamie: "I went to ye at Fort armed with an empty pistol and my bare hands. When you screamed... Ye're tearing my guts out, Claire." Claire: "I'm sorry. Jamie. Forgive me." Jamie: "Forgiven." (Robert Fruin)
Poldark -
1. Verity: "Ross is very dear to me. What woman should ever deserve him I couldn't imagine. So when I heard he'd married you, I was..." Demelza" "Horrified." Verity: "Relieved. Before he met you, he was...broken. Lost. So, I was relieved he'd found someone to console him, to save him from his loneliness. But now I see it's more than consolation. You've given him hope. A life without hope is bleak, and a life without love.." Demelza: "Oh, it is not love." Verity: "You, do not.." Demelza: "Love him? Beyond anything. But, I could never hope that, that he, would....He's kind to me. And, when we're a bed, I have reason to think I do please him." Verity: "Oh, I'm sure you do." Demelza: "But I'd never call it love. He's never used that word to me and misdoubt he ever shall." Verity: "It's life greatest treasure to love. And be loved in return. My dear, do you think I care a jot where you come from, or who your father is, or how well you curtsy." (Sandi)
2. Aunt Agatha: "Now you go and sit by Elizabeth so I can see how you measure up." (Sandi)
3. Francis: "You don't think I know what you're about. Taking her under your wing, making her your friend." Elizabeth: "Francis.." Francis: "Oh Ross, see how kind and generous I am. Look, what a pearl you've lost." Elizabeth: "You're being ridiculous." Francis: "Am I?" (Sandi)
The Walking Dead -
1. Carol: "You said you don't want to lie any more - and you don't want to take this place. Oh, sunshine - you don't get both." (Tonya Papanikolas)
2. Rick: “I don’t want to lie anymore.” Carol: “You said you don’t want to take this place. And you don’t want to lie? Oh, sunshine, you don’t get both.” (Sharon Seymour)
3. Abraham: "Simply put, there is a vast ocean of shit that you people don't know shit about. Rick knows every fine grain of said shit... and then some." (Bradley Adams and Tonya Papanikolas)
4. Rick: "You know, I was thinkin'... I was thinkin' 'how many of you do I have to kill to save your lives?'" (Bradley Adams)
Younger -
1. Liza: "Rihanna posts topless selfies like all the time and has over 35 million followers." Diana: "Just another 35 million nails in our cultural coffin." (Dahne)
2. Liza: "We're actually too broke to get divorced. How's that for comedy…or tragedy? Take your pick." (Dahne)
3. Liza: "Do I really want to trade my dignity, wisdom, and self-respect for another chance at my 20's? Maggie: "Yes. Yes, you do." (Dahne)
4. Kelsey: "She's hit her head on the glass ceiling so many times, she's got dementia."
5. Diana: "Tell me Leslie, what would you say makes you special?" Liza: "I'm a grownup. I don't think I'm special."
Honorable Mentions -
Allegiance -
1. Katya: "I'm so sorry that I brought you into this. All of it." Mark: "No, no, stop. Stop. My eyes were wide open." Katya: "But if you had to go back and do it all over again, would you?" Mark: "We're going to fix this. All of it. We're going to make it right." Katya: "You didn't answer my question." Mark: "Yes, I would do it all over again just to be with you."
2. Victor: "If we left, you'd never see her again." Alex: "But she'd still be alive. Get her out while you still can or the next time she could be the one rolling around in the back of a van."
3. Mark: "You wanted to be a figure skater. You were obsessed with Oksana Baiul. You wanted us to move to Simsbury so you could train even if it meant waking up at 4:oo in the morning. Instead you ended up being an expert at blood removal and my son's first love is wrapped up in sheets, ready to be rolled into a carpet and disposed of. Your mom, she told me she was pregnant with you in the same breath she told me she was SVR. I had to make a choice." Natalie: "If you hadn't stayed with mom, we wouldn't be here. We wouldn't be a family."
4. Katya: "Well now you understand why I lied to you for so long. In this world that we are trapped in, being honest with someone can get them killed."
Backstrom -
1. Backstrom: "I know who you are, Mr. Trippy. I know you're kind of a big deal on the streets. You may not know who I am. My name is Lieutenant Everett Backstrom. Gregory Valentine, the kid you beat up, he's family. Anything happens to him, you're dead. I know you have people. I have people too. Do you understand every word I've just said?"
2. Lou: "Hey! You're brothers. Half-brothers." Valentine: "Um, I'm assuming same father, different mother." Lou: "Everett and I are practically the same age." Valentine: "Really?" Backstrom: "You had sex with my father." Valentine: "You had sex with my mother." Backstrom: "She was really hot. She still is." Valentine: "Shut up."
3. Gravely: "Tell me you hate him too." Backstrom: "I hate everybody."
4. Backstrom: "Accordion players, people, Satan's squeezebox."
5. Backstrom: "Well you can stay here until you find someplace permanent I guess." Valentine: "Hey uh, I don’t have to pay rent now. Now that we're brothers, right?" Backstrom: "Half-brothers." Valentine: "Half brothers, half the rent." Backstrom: "Okay."
Battle Creek -
1. Russ: "Are you okay?" Guz: "I'm breathing. Are you okay?" Fontanelle: "He lost a bet. He can't hold his liquor like he used to." Guz: "Can't fit into those chaps like you used to either."
2. Russ: "For now on there's going to be no parking tickets, no street patrols, no more busts of nickel bags, gangbangers. Hell it could be the Purge out there for all I care. Right now we have one case."
3. Font: "So boyfriend's in that time?" Guz: "I made a list." Font: "17 in 3 years! Not to judge." Guz: "It's been a good 3 years."
Community -
1. Jeff: "I'm speechless." Frankie: "I forgot Chang was up there." Britta: "Me too. It's actually a relief to be able to support him out of something other than fear."
2. Abed: "The wi-fi's still broken." Frankie: "Whatever happened to Good Morning?" Abed: "It's a bad morning. No wi-fi." Frankie: "Okay let's not get carried away. We need oxygen." Elroy: "We have oxygen. We need wi-fi."
3. Director: "You are the worst actor I've ever directed and I directed both Walhbergers."
4. Abed: "Mean? You just did a baby bird murder monologue. Maybe they're close to leaving the nest. Until then, can't you just stall by doing what real IT people do?" Elroy: "What's that?" Abed: "Exactly."
5. Elroy: "Well I'm a big fan of the performing arts but I'll go to Chang's play anyway."
The Flash -
1. Trickster: "You know when I was free and at my height, a day without casualties was like…well, like the Cubs winning the pennant. It just never happened."
2. Trickster: "Well hello. You know I've been in prison for 20 years." Iris: "Then you'll know the routine when you get sent back."
3. Joe: "He is Harrison Wells. You love science. He is science. It's like you made best friends with Einstein." Barry: "You're saying I wanted to be tricked." Joe: "You always want to be the person who sees the best in people. I've been a cop for 25 years. All I can see is the flaws, the lies, the dark thoughts that people think. I don't see. I wish I could be you. As fast as you are, that is your real power. Don't let Wells take that from you. I don't know why he's helping us. All that matters is that he is." Barry: "I can't lose my dad, Joe."
4. Joe: "Didn't you read a whole book about him?" Barry: "Yeah. 600 pages and the big takeaway is he's enigmatic."
5. Wells: "Hey Joe, is Barry doing alright? He seems cranky." Joe: "Even the Flash wakes up on the wrong side of the bed some mornings. He's fine."
The Following -
1. Joe: "Tell me something, Ryan. Your dreams. Am I in them?" (Bradley Adams)
Forever -
1. Lucas: "Wow, even bada** drug dealers lose their hair. Time, you are a cruel mistress. Although he seems to be doing pretty well."
2. Zoe: "Whatever you think my dad did, he didn't. He's not that cool."
3. Abe: "I think I'm having déjà vu. I wonder is there a medical explanation for that or is it just people stupidly repeating old behavior and not realizing it?" Henry: "I can see what you're very subtlety suggesting Abraham, but you're wrong. This is nothing to do with me. I can handle this." Abe: "Well I don't think I can. This is how it started Henry. I pulled you out once. I don’t think I can do it again."
4. Jo: "This place is a New York landmark." Isaac: "It had its moments. Now it's over." Jo: "No, no. It is raw and authentic and it is…full of drugs." Isaac: "How about for tonight you forget you're a cop?"
5. Jo: "Easy there, Van Halen." Henry: "Oh good, you're here." Lucas: "Oh good, anyone's here."
6. Henry: "You do have a son." Eddie: "He doesn't need me." Henry: "Perhaps it’s you that needs him."
Fresh Off the Boat -
1. Nancy: "Bad news, boss. Mitch is out sick with the chicken pox." Louis: "Poor Mitch. Even when it comes to viruses, he's an ideal host."
2. Jessica: "Louis Huang, are you jealous?" Louis: "I don't have to be jealous. It's everybody else who should be jealous…of me. I got the best one."
3. Louis: "Why would I not be comfortable? I'm like a beanbag chair, almost always comfortable."
4. Jessica: "So what you're saying is it doesn't matter if you're gay or straight, the one thing we can all agree on is that I am hot."
5. Jessica: "Grandma's room is now a quarantine zone." Louis: "Like Outbreak. Great movie." Emery: "Is that the one with the cute monkey?" Jessica: "Emory if you ever see a monkey like that, you run okay? You run and you don't look back….and stay away from Evan because he is contagious."
The Goldbergs -
1. Beverly: "You've got to go up there and tell her she's got to go to college." Murray: "Why? You just told her she didn't." Beverly: "Because I'm the dream pusher and you're the dream smusher. That's how this works." Murray: "This is a thing? I'm the dream smusher?" Beverly: "Yes, I push. You smush. That's the natural order of things." Murray: "I didn't sign up for this. You smush for once. You know it's exhausting always having to be the bad guy." Beverly: "Well it can't be me. I'm the loving, supportive one. You're the grumbling, grouchy one I always hide behind. Now go. Smush, smush, smush."
2. Adam: "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news. Barry asked me to come here and terminate your relationship." Laney: "Yeah that's just not realistic, dude."
Grimm -
1. Wu: "Organ donor, but I think that ship has sailed."
2. Rosalee: "It's never been tried or if it has been there's been no record. Usually that means not such a good outcome." Hank: "It might affect you in ways we have no way of predicting." Monroe: "Not exactly…um, FDA approved, you know."
3. Renard: "So this is where you tell me how important I am to the family and we should join forces." Kenneth: "No." (fight ensues until Renard loses) Kenneth: "This is where I tell you how important I am to the family and unless you join forces with me, you'll end up like your friend Damerov and the king will mourn the loss of another son. Think about it."
4. Nick: "I know a thing or two about side effects. You really want to think about this." Bella: "You don't know what it's like to never be able to experience love, never feel the touch of another person or be able to touch them. I don't care about the side effects. It can't be worse than what happens now."
5. Rosalee: "It's not them. It's whoever's turned on by them. It's a defense mechanism." Monroe: "An extremely offensive defense mechanism."
iZombie -
1. Doc: "I never knew orange safety gear would be so flattering. I look positively rugged." Liv: "You were totally convincing. You held that coffee cup with real blue collar machismo."
2. Brian: "There's a hobo in there, man. We can cut him into the movie." Karl: "Or maybe it's a serial killer and he can cut us into stupid virgin stew. What if this place turned him into a mutant and he's got hermit crab hands?" Brian: "Than I'm about to have 3 million Instagram followers."
Olympus -
1. Theo: "There are harpies in these woods you know. Hector saw one feeding on a stag." Oracle: "If you don't shut up, I'm going to turn into a harpy myself."
2. Medea: "Pallus knows that you're a coward at heart, General. That if he warned you of a conspiracy, you would recruit a bodyguard, and you feel for it because you, my dear General, are as dim as you are gutless. It's no wonder we're losing the war with you General at the tiller."
3. Theo: "I'm invisible." Hero: "I can see that."
4. Pallas: "Poison? Shouldn't you at least give the accused the opportunity to defend himself." Medea: "We're at war, Lord Pallas. There's no time for trials."
5. Medea: "It's King Minos you should be terrorizing, not your own men."
Once Upon a Time -
1. Cruella: "Oh, at last. I feel like I've aged a decade waiting for you.” Regina: "Well, you certainly look like it.” (Nirat Anop)
2. The Sorcerer's Apprentice: “Your child is now pure of intent and heroic of spirit. It is now up to the two of you to guide it and keep it in the light.” (Nirat Anop)
3. Snow: “I thought we were doing something brave for our child. And we were brave but we weren’t kind. We were selfish. If anything we are not heroes anymore.” (Nirat Anop)
4. Maleficent: “What I have is pain.” Rumple: “And pain fades unless you feel it.” (Nirat Anop)
Outlander -
1. Claire: “I begged you to take me with you. I told you there was no danger with me going along. Would you listen to me? No, no I’m only a woman. Why should you pay any attention to what I have to say. Women are only fit to do as there told and obey orders.” (Nirat Anop and Robert Fruin)
2. Jamie: “I am your master, you're mine. Seems I cannot posses your soul without losing my own." (Nirat Anop)
Scorpion -
1. Walter: "I don't have any feelings and even I'm uncomfortable watching this."
2. Toby: "Tell him he wouldn't like you when you're angry." Sylvester: "What is he? The Hulk?"
3. Sylvester: "Probability theory predicts that one cannot predict the future with any absolute certainty, but this is an exception. There is zero chance that she will accept your apology." Toby: "I'm not going to apologize. I'm going to grovel." Sylvester: "Understood but still there's a high likelihood that she will throw something at you."
4. Cabe: "I feel like we should be cranking some Skynyrd in this thing. Takes me back." Walter: "To what?" Cabe: "The 70's." Walter: "I wasn't born yet." Cabe: "Screw you."
5. Cabe: "Alright kids, if you need to hit the head now's the time because we're not stopping once we hit the road." Sylvester: "You know you're not our dad, right?" Cabe: "Stop acting like kids, I'll stop acting like your dad."
Secrets and Lies -
1. Dave: "Grab the baseball bat." (Bradley Adams)
Shameless -
1. Monica: “Theres always going to be people who are going to try and fix us and you can never makes those people happy. Like it breaks their heart just to look at you.” Ian: “Yeah, umm even Mickey now.” Monica: “That’s your boyfriend right?” Ian: “Yeah, yeah, you remember him?” Monica: “I’m sure he means well but you need to be with people who accept you for who you are and their out there. You should never apologise for being you. You. Ian. I love you." (Nirat Anop)
Sirens -
1. Cash: "Decaf, right? I don't wanna be up all goddamn night." Johnny: "It's decaf." Cash: "Better be." Hank: "Nobody has a secret plan to caffeinate you, Cash." Voodoo: "I do." Cash: "Forget it, I can't trust none of yous." (Bradley Adams)
2. Johnny: "Wouldn't the Devil try to trick you by also using a white light?" Brian: (thoughtfully) "He is the master of deception." (Bradley Adams)
Weird Loners -
1. Caryn: "You were always terrified of intimacy, weren't you? I could see it in your eyes the very first day we met." Marty: "Which was Wednesday."
2. Caryn: "I'm in the dental field too, a hygienist. Small world." Stosh: "Small, incredibly boring world, yes."
3. Stosh: "You may be a whole bag of crazy but the prize for weird loner goes to the big guy at the end." Eric: "Thanks." Caryn: "Um Stosh, you do realize that you're going to die alone too, right?" Stosh: "God willing, Cyndi." Caryn: "It's Caryn." Stosh: "Whatever."
4. Caryn: "You know he's not exactly Ryan Gosling but I'm not exactly whatever the female equivalent of Ryan Gosling is." Stosh: "Scarlett Johansson."
5. Stosh: "Aren't you gonna wish me luck." Neighbor: "Just jump."