These are not the people anyone feels should be notified in this manner Amelia Addison Derek's mom and other sisters. Family first and then a hospital.
Oh my god Alec is in a promotional photo! Maybe he actually gets to say more than a couple of lines. He is Merediths person now so she is going to need him.
So that has to be a a dream sequence or flashforward with older Bailey and Zola. Can't really seem them time-jumping in this episode because the synopsis of the episode after this one says "The doctors of Grey Sloane Memorial Hospital are forced to put their emotions aside"
No more Owen please!!! Is killing me! You know i think Amelia is a great character , and for sure, Amelia and Merediht get close for this. Is a big thing. And they need get close, they are family. Stepeh, like me more and more! Even more like jo, but who knows maybe in the final episodes i get more than Jo. Callie see like ...angry? She has the same expresion when she knows Arizona cheating on her... So for me see angry, why? Im see Zola and Bealy, and i think: wow! They are so old already? When happen that!? LOL
whether this is dark and twisty Meredith, bright and shiny Meredith or PTSD Meredith the order of notification remains the same and Doctor Meredith who just had the Police show up at her door, who just read the ER physician the riot act would know that protocol and decorum demands that she first tell Amelia and Maggie and then perhaps Alex as her "Person" to help set up and coordinate the funeral. These matters are done this way because of the shock of having to hear your relative is dead is lessened not having heard it from a perfect or imperfect stranger. This is far from the first person Death has put in the ground having buried both her parents and her sister. Think back to George and the O' Malley's as the decisions about his remains were being made, George's mother is notified and then Callie and then his friends and so on. In Mark's case it went Derek Callie and the friends as Mark had no next of kin.left. What we see here is everyone in the room knows Derek is dead before Amelia which is understandable given she was going into surgery. What is not understandable is Meredith not being the one to tell Amelia the bad news.
And concerning Meredith and Family she grew up with a single parent, a nanny and schooling and when time came she came home to take care of her mother. In time her estranged father shows up and plops two half sisters in Meredith's life and she is there for each of them. She now has Maggie and Richard in her life and she saw Richard through being electrocuted and Maggie through finding out who her father is. When she came to SGH she created a new Family of Izzy, George, Christina and Derek with Alex tagging in but now only Alex is around.
Owen, Callie, Arizona, Stephanie, Jo, Miranda, Ben, Jackson and April are more friends than family.
Okay, the second sneak peek is the scene where Meredith collapses in the promo and I think that's why Owen tells Amelia - she's passed out. That makes sense so at least I'm not angry about that now.
Im gonna need you to stop there is no proper protocol or decorum or etiquette when it comes to death. People are informed in all different ways for all different reasons regardless of how you think the order should be. Its to the discretion of the person dealing with the death initially to tell whomever they can muster up the strength to tell. Its not an easy tact to tell someone that your loved one his dead. Its another heartbreaking event that maybe she cant muster up the strength to tell Amelia or his extended family. Also its a sneak peek- we don't know what else has transpired. We don't know if she made attempts to contact Amelia or anyone else in the family and was unable to reach them. Im sorry but in reality you get the news of losing a loved when you get and from whoever can function enough to member to include you in the information because they are distraught with grief.
I could keep listing for hours as what I wrote is standard ettiquette you would know by the second funeral you set up but you in your arrogabce trying to tell people to stop apparently have not buried many people.
In this story you have Meredith signing to have Derek removed from a ventilator so the need to notify his doctor is removed but that would be the first person notified to sign the Death Certificate to release the body to the funeral home , who is call number two. After that the call goes to the person handling the will. I skipped the obvious call to the next of kin. Good luck trying to get the information going around this person as that becomes a privacy issue. Assuming the person has set up for a funeral the rest could be academic but there is the question of the estate and survivor's rights. Imagine you are not made aware of the funeral and the want to lay a claim against the estate, there are requirements concerning notification of potential claimers. As the primary claims will be family, they are unavoidably first, relationships second and so on.
Under you are entitle to your opinion idea, that in this case is a right for you to be mistaken.
There is right way to notify people after on dies and every other way. Do it the other way and end up in court or with a person no longer your friend. Clips have Meredith telling this to Friends first. Obviously Amelia learned after Callie and Owen. No telling if Maggie s even told. As for Derek's mother, will assume that is where Meredith is heading with her children but it looks as though the order of things went all wrong.
Do not be surprised if you keep watching this show if Amelia says something about it to be met with a response concerning "You remember when you said I had never faced the loss of someone I loved. Now that I have shut up and sit down sis." It should upset Amelia the news coming from of all people the man who just broke up with her, the man she pushed away. She should feel manipulated. As is Owen has the upper hand to tell Amelia to shut up and marry him, ( another plane crashes).
BTW in reality as you like to put it I am the dark and twisty person who in inevitably gets to make those calls which Meredith screwed up on when she pulled the plug before calling family or clergy. In real life the hospital tells you to pull the plug with the opportunity for you to allow people to say their last goodbyes. Been there done this and those calls stink as you have limited time to expedite visitation.
Then comes the funeral, how bid will it be where will it be held, who will talk, pall bearers et al all figuring in to did i talk to the right person first.
The will is read. Did I talk to the right person first
The estate is finalized, did I tell the right person first.
The business people find out and did the right person get notified first?
Would be funny if Addison is still listed as Derek's beneficiary and no one notified her in the first group of calls.
But you keep believing as you do and deal with the problems you have to. Good Luck
Wow that was a thorough retort to my statement. Interesting you need to go that deep in regards to a fictional show but i whatevs.
To your point i have buried way too many family members to count thank you very much. Therefore I have plenty of knowledge about this topic. For myself and my family we don't abide some etiquette or decorum when relaying the information that our loved one has died because we are all distraught. All the legal info you provided congratulations on your research but that irrelevant to this story because more than likely it wont be shown on the show. Most of that stuff happens off camera. But by chance it does occur Meredith would be the only person that needs to be informed because she is is wife, his next of kin, his power of attorney, executive of will and all of that. We can all easily assume and venture this to be true. So again there is no real requirement for her to contact his family first, other then to be courteous b/c of course its the correct thing to do. Doesn't mean it HAS to happen that way. They will be informed when they are informed. Its not like they wont be informed but it doesn't have to be at the timetable you and others have set out.
Im not sure what family you come from where people go to court b/c someone may have forgot to inform you of a death. Thats unfortunate for you. A funeral and a lawsuit that would be a b*** of a day.
What research? aside for the two ettiquette sites the rest is all first hand experience.
I have overseen the death of all but one of my elders and that one is already set up and in the works.
Your assumption on the story is a fair one that Derek would set up things that way but as you could see Meredith's "person" is still not Derek, and Derek could still have Addison on his paperwork. Do not trivialize this as it happens all too often that people do not update their wills or die intestate and the wife or next of kin has to seek statutory recourse to remedy the fact that the will in force does not give them any rights. As for powers of attorney and living wills they die with the decedent. If there is a will, there is a legal responsibility to notify the parties most likely to have claims on the estate and settle matters. I have seen many a person sued over the disbursement of assets as it all becomes a me me me moment at that time.
Oh well the show happened and I may look back on it again but time to deal with the dying of another. It may not make sense to you but the family will be the first ones contacted.
Oh and the B**** of a day is when there is a fight at the ceremony over how it was to be done or when or where, what song is played what words said, if it is open or closed casket, what to do with the ashes, dress code, decedent's clothes and traveling and accomodation set up, last minute markers, what to do with children, custody arrangements if this is a sole parent, and let us assume there is no autopsy needed but in this case there would be as Derek was at least a vehicular homicide given the way the show went and perhaps a negligent homicide at that so that is to be seen but the courts have rights to the body and a medical exam.
NOTE: Name-calling, personal attacks, spamming, excessive self-promotion, condescending pomposity, general assiness, racism, sexism, any-other-ism, homophobia, acrophobia, and destructive (versus constructive) criticism will get you BANNED from the party.
These are not the people anyone feels should be notified in this manner Amelia Addison Derek's mom and other sisters. Family first and then a hospital.
ReplyDeleteShe really was the last person to know that's messed up
ReplyDeleteI don't like Amelia in general but this is really sad-She has no clue her only brother has died in a car crash!Poor woman!
ReplyDeleteI love amelia. I guess in greys maybe not abt derek family. It's greys..so should be abt mer..
ReplyDeleteOh my god Alec is in a promotional photo! Maybe he actually gets to say more than a couple of lines. He is Merediths person now so she is going to need him.
ReplyDeleteI love amelia. I love she's on greys now. But it seems not about her. It's about mer. Looking 4ward for their scenes next episode.
ReplyDeleteMy poor Amelia. :(
ReplyDeleteWhy should Addison be informed? She is his ex-wife and that's it.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for Maggie and Alex scenes
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering if Addison does come back as who was the boy playing with Zola? it can't be Bailey so I wonder if it is her little boy hmmm
ReplyDeleteHis ex-wife who was a friend, she is his sister's friend and knows his family. Of course se should be informed.
ReplyDeleteLooks like a big time jump, that's a different actress for Zola too
ReplyDeleteSo that has to be a a dream sequence or flashforward with older Bailey and Zola. Can't really seem them time-jumping in this episode because the synopsis of the episode after this one says "The doctors of Grey Sloane Memorial Hospital are forced to put their emotions aside"
ReplyDeleteI don't care about greys animore ! I want tvd rating rise
ReplyDeleteEx wife trumps coworkers by far especially in this case as wife and her are quasi friends
ReplyDeleteNo more Owen please!!! Is killing me! You know i think Amelia is a great character , and for sure, Amelia and Merediht get close for this. Is a big thing. And they need get close, they are family.
ReplyDeleteStepeh, like me more and more! Even more like jo, but who knows maybe in the final episodes i get more than Jo.
Callie see like ...angry? She has the same expresion when she knows Arizona cheating on her... So for me see angry, why?
Im see Zola and Bealy, and i think: wow! They are so old already? When happen that!? LOL
Really? Owen is the one who tells Amelia? Why?
ReplyDeleteSo Meredith doesn't even tell Amelia? I love her but stop that.
ReplyDeleteVery strange decision.
ReplyDeleteHow uncomfortable is that. Owen?! Sooo off. And I didn't love Amelia's acting in the clip either. Blahhhh.
ReplyDeleteI'm assuming this is Meredith. And nothing Meredith thinks or does in relation to family is normal.
ReplyDeletewhether this is dark and twisty Meredith, bright and shiny Meredith or PTSD Meredith the order of notification remains the same and Doctor Meredith who just had the Police show up at her door, who just read the ER physician the riot act would know that protocol and decorum demands that she first tell Amelia and Maggie and then perhaps Alex as her "Person" to help set up and coordinate the funeral. These matters are done this way because of the shock of having to hear your relative is dead is lessened not having heard it from a perfect or imperfect stranger. This is far from the first person Death has put in the ground having buried both her parents and her sister. Think back to George and the O' Malley's as the decisions about his remains were being made, George's mother is notified and then Callie and then his friends and so on. In Mark's case it went Derek Callie and the friends as Mark had no next of kin.left. What we see here is everyone in the room knows Derek is dead before Amelia which is understandable given she was going into surgery. What is not understandable is Meredith not being the one to tell Amelia the bad news.
ReplyDeleteAnd concerning Meredith and Family she grew up with a single parent, a nanny and schooling and when time came she came home to take care of her mother. In time her estranged father shows up and plops two half sisters in Meredith's life and she is there for each of them. She now has Maggie and Richard in her life and she saw Richard through being electrocuted and Maggie through finding out who her father is. When she came to SGH she created a new Family of Izzy, George, Christina and Derek with Alex tagging in but now only Alex is around.
Owen, Callie, Arizona, Stephanie, Jo, Miranda, Ben, Jackson and April are more friends than family.
Is that Addison? And I hope we see Derek's mum and sisters. Always looks dodgy when they hide them in the background
ReplyDeleteLooks like Callie to me.
ReplyDeleteIt does look like Addison in picture in the kitchen with the black and white top, but Henry was Hispanic...
ReplyDeleteZola looks the same as she did in the last couple of episodes...
ReplyDeleteI never like Amelia's acting lol. She's brutal.
ReplyDeleteTwo different Zolas:
ReplyDeletehttp://images.spoilertv.com/grey-s-anatomy/Season%2011/Promotional%20Episode%20Photos/Episode%2011.22%20-%20Shes%20Leaving%20Home/139183_2285.jpg.php
http://images.spoilertv.com/grey-s-anatomy/Season%2011/Promotional%20Episode%20Photos/Episode%2011.22%20-%20Shes%20Leaving%20Home/139183_2597.jpg.php
Okay, the second sneak peek is the scene where Meredith collapses in the promo and I think that's why Owen tells Amelia - she's passed out. That makes sense so at least I'm not angry about that now.
ReplyDeleteWhere are people seeing a second sneak peek? I only see one
ReplyDeleteMe too.... but my flash crashed and I saw there was a second flash window on the page... so there is a second video it's just not showing up...
ReplyDeleteCan't see the second sneak peek either, so here's the YouTube link: http://youtu.be/aZtwyGNAm9g
ReplyDeleteThanks!
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot!
ReplyDeleteIm gonna need you to stop there is no proper protocol or decorum or etiquette when it comes to death. People are informed in all different ways for all different reasons regardless of how you think the order should be. Its to the discretion of the person dealing with the death initially to tell whomever they can muster up the strength to tell. Its not an easy tact to tell someone that your loved one his dead. Its another heartbreaking event that maybe she cant muster up the strength to tell Amelia or his extended family. Also its a sneak peek- we don't know what else has transpired. We don't know if she made attempts to contact Amelia or anyone else in the family and was unable to reach them. Im sorry but in reality you get the news of losing a loved when you get and from whoever can function enough to member to include you in the information because they are distraught with grief.
ReplyDeleteI always liked Amelia and I really liked her in Private Practice
ReplyDeleteguess the people at these funeral groups disagree with you :
ReplyDeletehttp://www.funeralresources.com/resources/funeral-etiquette-immediate-family/
https://www.funeralwise.com/etiquette/bereaved_planning/
I could keep listing for hours as what I wrote is standard ettiquette you would know by the second funeral you set up but you in your arrogabce trying to tell people to stop apparently have not buried many people.
In this story you have Meredith signing to have Derek removed from a ventilator so the need to notify his doctor is removed but that would be the first person notified to sign the Death Certificate to release the body to the funeral home , who is call number two. After that the call goes to the person handling the will. I skipped the obvious call to the next of kin. Good luck trying to get the information going around this person as that becomes a privacy issue. Assuming the person has set up for a funeral the rest could be academic but there is the question of the estate and survivor's rights. Imagine you are not made aware of the funeral and the want to lay a claim against the estate, there are requirements concerning notification of potential claimers. As the primary claims will be family, they are unavoidably first, relationships second and so on.
Under you are entitle to your opinion idea, that in this case is a right for you to be mistaken.
There is right way to notify people after on dies and every other way. Do it the other way and end up in court or with a person no longer your friend. Clips have Meredith telling this to Friends first. Obviously Amelia learned after Callie and Owen. No telling if Maggie s even told. As for Derek's mother, will assume that is where Meredith is heading with her children but it looks as though the order of things went all wrong.
Do not be surprised if you keep watching this show if Amelia says something about it to be met with a response concerning "You remember when you said I had never faced the loss of someone I loved. Now that I have shut up and sit down sis." It should upset Amelia the news coming from of all people the man who just broke up with her, the man she pushed away. She should feel manipulated. As is Owen has the upper hand to tell Amelia to shut up and marry him, ( another plane crashes).
BTW in reality as you like to put it I am the dark and twisty person who in inevitably gets to make those calls which Meredith screwed up on when she pulled the plug before calling family or clergy. In real life the hospital tells you to pull the plug with the opportunity for you to allow people to say their last goodbyes. Been there done this and those calls stink as you have limited time to expedite visitation.
Then comes the funeral, how bid will it be where will it be held, who will talk, pall bearers et al all figuring in to did i talk to the right person first.
The will is read. Did I talk to the right person first
The estate is finalized, did I tell the right person first.
The business people find out and did the right person get notified first?
Would be funny if Addison is still listed as Derek's beneficiary and no one notified her in the first group of calls.
But you keep believing as you do and deal with the problems you have to. Good Luck
Wow that was a thorough retort to my statement. Interesting you need to go that deep in regards to a fictional show but i whatevs.
ReplyDeleteTo your point i have buried way too many family members to count thank you very much. Therefore I have plenty of knowledge about this topic. For myself and my family we don't abide some etiquette or decorum when relaying the information that our loved one has died because we are all distraught. All the legal info you provided congratulations on your research but that irrelevant to this story because more than likely it wont be shown on the show. Most of that stuff happens off camera. But by chance it does occur Meredith would be the only person that needs to be informed because she is is wife, his next of kin, his power of attorney, executive of will and all of that. We can all easily assume and venture this to be true. So again there is no real requirement for her to contact his family first, other then to be courteous b/c of course its the correct thing to do. Doesn't mean it HAS to happen that way. They will be informed when they are informed. Its not like they wont be informed but it doesn't have to be at the timetable you and others have set out.
Im not sure what family you come from where people go to court b/c someone may have forgot to inform you of a death. Thats unfortunate for you. A funeral and a lawsuit that would be a b*** of a day.
Does anyone know who is the actress that played the burn victim, JJ.
ReplyDeleteWhat research? aside for the two ettiquette sites the rest is all first hand experience.
ReplyDeleteI have overseen the death of all but one of my elders and that one is already set up and in the works.
Your assumption on the story is a fair one that Derek would set up things that way but as you could see Meredith's "person" is still not Derek, and Derek could still have Addison on his paperwork. Do not trivialize this as it happens all too often that people do not update their wills or die intestate and the wife or next of kin has to seek statutory recourse to remedy the fact that the will in force does not give them any rights. As for powers of attorney and living wills they die with the decedent. If there is a will, there is a legal responsibility to notify the parties most likely to have claims on the estate and settle matters. I have seen many a person sued over the disbursement of assets as it all becomes a me me me moment at that time.
Oh well the show happened and I may look back on it again but time to deal with the dying of another. It may not make sense to you but the family will be the first ones contacted.
Oh and the B**** of a day is when there is a fight at the ceremony over how it was to be done or when or where, what song is played what words said, if it is open or closed casket, what to do with the ashes, dress code, decedent's clothes and traveling and accomodation set up, last minute markers, what to do with children, custody arrangements if this is a sole parent, and let us assume there is no autopsy needed but in this case there would be as Derek was at least a vehicular homicide given the way the show went and perhaps a negligent homicide at that so that is to be seen but the courts have rights to the body and a medical exam.