A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off below the article.
1. Clarke: "You may be the Chancellor, but I'm in charge." (Jimmy Ryan, Robert Fruin, Dahne)
2. Jasper: "Do I look desperate to you? Because I'm feeling pretty desperate." (Robert Fruin)
3. Abby: "People could get hurt." Clarke: "Not if you get out of my way. You need to trust that I know what's right for us."
1. Felicity to Oliver: "I don't want to be a woman that you love." (Diana Mack)
2. Roy: "Captain Lance!" Lance: "Harper." Arsenal: "I'm not sure what you..." Lance: "Look, I've seen you wearing a red hoodie, I've seen you shootin' arrows at people. You think I don't recognize you with a little extra leather and lace?" Roy: "Well, I guess I won't be needing this [voice changer] anymore." (Daniel van der Veer)
3. Diggle: "That's just the thing. Once we let the ends justify the means, that's just the first step." Malcolm: "Towards what? Diggle: Becoming you." (Daniel van der Veer)
1. Backstrom: "My sleeping rhythms have been thrown off 'cause I quit drinking." Deb: "For that to be true, you would need to stop drinking. Mark that down - your first lie." Backstrom: "So you are bribing me with drugs to not lie in my journal of lies." Deb: "Consider how sad it is that this is necessary." (Dahne)
2. Backstrom: "How do we get her to stop yelling?" Almond: "Shoot her." Backstrom: "You do it. I shot somebody last week." (Dahne)
1. Proctor: "If I don't make it out of here, you stay the fuck away from Rebecca." Hood: "OK." Proctor: "If I do make it, you and I have unfinished business." (Bradley Adams)
2. Brock: "I was just gonna say I still think I would've been a better sheriff than you." (Bradley Adams)
3. Bunker: "I understand that my physical appearance may be unsettling but...never mind." Alison: "Who the hell was that?" Brock: "I thought he was with you." (Sandi)
4. Brock: "Being good at killing people doesn't make you right for this job." Hood: "Is that right? Cos you're pretty f***ing good at doing that too." Brock: "Yeah, yeah. I did, I tried, I tried Hood. I tried doing things your way. I convinced myself it was for the best. But everything you touch turns to blood." (Sandi)
5. Proctor: “I’d rather fight for my life out there than wait in the dark to die like the rest of you.” (Sandi)
1. Red: "If you're looking for your driver, he's napping in your trunk." (Tonya Papanikolas)
2. Red: "Sadly there isn't a prison on earth where I don't know a few guys." (Daniel van der Veer)
3. Red: "You will make a mistake, and when you do, I will be there to indulge in the undeniable pleasure and sweet satisfaction of "I told you so." (Bradley Adams)
4. Red: "Luther, I never thought I'd enjoy having anything in my mouth as much as Petty Officer Virginia Sherman, but this... My God! It tastes so good! I hesitate to swallow, and I certainly don't want to spit it out. Oh, what the hell. I told you so." (Bradley Adams)
1. Graham: "Hurry up if you wanna come out. We gotta go now. I always end up being the only guy who has to stand at this place - and that is not happening tonight! Senior citizen? Pregnant? Too bad - I got here first!" (Tonya Papanikolas)
1. Morgan: "How the hell did we beat the bomb squad?" Reid: "I'd give you the statistics, but we really don't have the time." (Laura Markus) ~Cute.
2. Garcia: "I am the queen of lots of things, including subtlety." (Laura Markus) ~There's Garcia, always making us laugh.
1. Tyree: "We can call this a standoff or we can make this a multiple homicide. You pick. Get your a** out of my studio." (Dahne)
2. Carol: "Girl please, your kids ain't real. They rich." (Dahne)
3. Cookie: "You know Lucious, it's almost morning and even vampires got manners." Lucious: "Did I wake you up from your coffin?"
Carol (describing her first sexual lesbian experience): “It was a little weird at first. I mean, there’s nothing to hold on to.” (Sharon Seymour)
1. Tommy: "You want me to ask for a search warrant based on the chupacabra of the sea?" (Dahne)
2. Aaron: "I'm dating a Rubik's cube. I don't know what side I'm going to get or combination." (Dahne)
3. Walker: "People are more than what they post, Lindy. They lie. They embellish. You can only know that face-to-face."
1. Caitlin Snow: "We are quite the pair, Mr. Allen." Barry Allen: Yes, we are, Dr. Snow." (Diana Mack)
2. Barry: "Dad. If I was The Flash, don't you think that you'd be the first to know about it?" Henry: "Yeah. Well, if The Flash were my son, I'd tell him a few things. First off, I'd tell him it's a dangerous world, so be careful. Then I'd tell him he's a hero. And he's saving a lot of lives. But the most important thing for him to know, I feel, is that his father's proud of him." (Sandi)
3. Cisco: "How can you speak six languages and sound like a dick in every one of them?" (Sharon Seymour and Dahne)
1. Bullock: "You worried about me, Captain? You know I don't start drinking 'til noon." (Tonya Papanikolas)
2. Bullock: "I'm a cop. The only thing I'm afraid of is decaf coffee." (Tonya Papanikolas)
1. Amelia: "By the time I'm done with your tumor I'm going to be able to tell you what street this bastard grew up on and where it lost its virginity." (Robert Fruin)
2. Meredith "It's just you. The one you can count on, and lean on, and depend on. It has to be you. And once you figure that out, that's when being alone becomes a choice." (Robert Fruin)
1. Connor: "Hey there, killer." Wes: "Funny." (Laura Markus) ~Much needed humour.
2. Connor: "I don't trust anyone in my life right now except you [Oliver]. So, just, don't. Don't make me go. Please." (Laura Markus) ~Adorable!
3. Annalise: "We could use some fun around here." (Jimmy Ryan)
1. Charlie: "It's not hilarious, it's just a stool with a nail sticking out of it." Dee: "Yeah, and when it pokes their butts, they scream, 'cause they just got a nail right in the butt. You don't understand comedy, at all." Charlie: "You don't understand comedy. That's not a joke, it's a lawsuit!" (Sandi)
2. Dennis: "Excuse me, with all due respect, Charlie, you don't even know what the goddamn plan is." Charlie: "Okay, okay, with all due respect to you, I think I understand it fully, okay? You guys used Frank's credit card, you bought a bunch of airline miles. You used those airline miles to purchase 400 steaks. Knowing that this delivery company delivered all variety of animal products, your plan was to contaminate the steaks with chicken feathers, by rubbing live chickens all over them. Then you were gonna repackage the steaks, at which point, you were gonna return the contaminated steaks for actual cash, taking advantage of a loophole in the current airline miles system, correct?" (Sandi)
1. Gibbs: "A leader looks after his men. He fights for them. That's who Lieutenant Kutzler was. You're a disgrace to that uniform, and I look forward to testifying at your court martial." (Daniel van der Veer)
2. Tony: "Spoiler alert, Heisenberg. It doesn't end well for you." (Daniel van der Veer)
1. Root: "Don't judge a town by its cider." (Bradley Adams)
2. Harold: "I want to hold out hope, but hope is painful" (Robert Fruin)
3. Root: "We need an answer. I need an answer if Sameen is alive or if she's dead." (Robert Fruin)
4. Mayor : "Today we celebrate 212 years of history in Maple -- the biggest little manufacturing hub in upstate." Root: "Town could use a better tagline." (Sharon Seymour and Bradley Adams)
1. Nurse Jackson: "Is it me or has Kara's new heart made her nicer?" Dr. McAndrew: "No, it's the morphine." (Laura Markus) ~Hilarious. But in all honesty, I do think Kara is a changed girl.
2. Brittany: "That's just her disease, that has nothing to do with who she is." (Laura Markus) ~This is very important!
Honorable Mentions:
12 Monkeys -
1. Cole: "They're going to have to break through a lot of crazy before she leads them anywhere."
2. Deacon: "How you doing? It's Tuesday by the way. I know you're having trouble keeping track."
3. Ramse: "Sorry buddy. You're on your own from here on out." Cole: "What are you talking about?" Ramse: "I'm in Atari."
The 100 -
1. Bellamy: "I take it no one has told you we're not enemies anymore."
2. Clarke: "I have a message for your leader. We're coming for him. You're watching us but you haven't seen a thing. The grounder army is bigger than you think and even if you could find it, your acid fog can't hurt them and now thanks to you, neither can the reapers. So you have one last chance. Let our people go and we'll let you live. It's just that simple."
Agent Carter -
1. Carter: "Anybody else feel a chill going up their knickers?" Pinkerton: "I would if I wore knickers."
2. Cryptographer: "Look as difficult as it might be for you people to understand, I can't just beat a code into submission or shoot it with a gun."
3. Jarvis: "He can be thoughtless, inconsiderate, vain, childish, unreliable, arrogant…" Carter: "You flatter him." Jarvis: "But he is a good man."
Allegiance -
1. Alex: "She drove into dad." Alex: "What?" Katya: "Yeah, he cut me off."
2. Alex: "Oh work sent me up here for something." Katya: "Something you can talk about?" Alex: "Not really." Katya: "Oh, Mama doesn't like that."
3. Victor: "You might actually be crazier than she is." Natalie: "Yeah, you think."
Backstrom -
1. Valentine: "You really went through all this just to have sex? And with a girl." Craig: "Yeah." Valentine: "What's the matter with you? You never heard of cars, alleys, parks, garden sheds, rec rooms, broom closets, tepee, campers, cemeteries, attics, basements, locker rooms, bouncy castle. Those are fun. Elevators if you're quick, which I assume you would be."
2. Moto: "Welcome back, lieutenant. We just helped two civilians break into private property so it's going great."
3. Deb: "You realize that nightmares and insomnia are mutually exclusive. You must pick one or the other."
TBBT -
1. Penny: "If you're pausing for dramatic effect, I'd keep it moving."
2. Amy: "You know there was a time when I was alone and had no friends. Starting to miss that."
3. Sheldon: "My name is right on there with yours. That is a surefire mark of quality. That might as well say directed by Joss Whedon."
Elementary -
1. Sherlock: "There really is no version of meeting someone's parents that doesn't involve actually meeting their parents."
2. Sherlock: "I'm an expert in many things, but love is not one of them. I do know however it cannot be reduced to a checklist of traits."
3. Sherlock: "Oh thank goodness." Watson: "For what?" Sherlock: "I found a way out of this conversation."
Empire -
1. Jamal: "You always come to me for advice. Hmm. So I'm gonna give you some. Don't ever underestimate me, little brother."
2. Cookie: "Dead B*** Walking. That's me out here right now."
Eye Candy -
1. Tommy: "I'm a cop. You're the source. The source works for the cop. The source listens to the cop. The cop is always right." Lindy: "So like a rock-paper-scissors thing." Tommy: "Nope. Like a cop thing."
The Flash -
1. Cisco: "How can you speak 6 languages and sound like a d** in every one of them?"
2. Caitlin: "Oh Hartley Rathaway, who is currently locked up in our supervillain basement jail for going psycho with sound waves." Cisco: "Yeah, he's made some poor choices…."
3. Caitlin: "You're fast and you can sing. What can't you do?" Barry: "Stop you from drinking apparently." Caitlin: "I'm not even sure that was mine."
Forever -
1. Henry: "Look at how the artist captured the lines of the body almost perfectly." Jo: "Fascinating. I'm a little more concerned with the body on the floor."
2. Abe: "Luckily we're only responsible for our own sins in this world. Can you imagine if I tried to carry around your 200-years of craziness?"
3. Jo: "You know you kind of take the fun out of these reveals."
Fresh From the Boat -
1. Grandma Huang (to a taxidermy rabbit): "You were too slow."
2. Jessica: "His body is rejecting white culture, which makes me kind of proud. Good job, Evan."
3. Jessica: "Hey no more questions, Barbara Walters. Pick up a lamp."
Grimm -
1. De Groot: "The Grimm is dead?" Alexander: "Not exactly." De Groot: "Well I hope the Council doesn't take this personally." Alexander: "Or the Grimm."
2. Wu: "So thanks to my quality late night, caffeine-fueled trailer time I would suggest we're dealing with a manticore or something similar."
3. Viktor: "You may not like it but you're part of the family. Mistreated though you were, you still have the blood." Renard: "Hasn't exactly been thicker than water, has it?" Viktor: "No family's perfect. But those that wanted you dead are dead, and it's time you think about your relationship with this family as it is now, not as it was then."
Red Band Society -
1. Dash: "I can't believe you all got us watching this corny flick, man." Mae: "Seriously. We were born with a terminal disease. Haven't we suffered enough."
2. Jordi: "Yah I know everyone else is worried about you but total silence is a great quality in a roommate. So here's the deal. Dr. McAndrew's going to cut me open again and this time I don't need you to help me get through it. This time I'm going to help you. Band of brothers, right? You know I read that play, Henry the 5th. It's not just a war they're in. It's the 100 Years War, longest war ever literally. To win a war that long you have to have faith and I do. I sat down with my abuela and prayed. I just closed my eyes and asked for a sign and I saw you. You gave me faith that day. So now that you've got this depression stuff out of your system, I say we just get up tomorrow like it's any other day and keep fighting because I don't see what other choice we have okay?" Leo: "Okay. Okay."
3. Dash: "Mae, slow down." Mae: "Get away from me." Dash: "No seriously. Slow down before we both drop dead."
Stalker -
1. Ray: "I just think you're under the impression that you're in control here and I think that we have to work together."
2. Janice: "He's one of those jocks who ends up back where he started." Jack: "You're bitter in the morning." Janice: "I'm suspect of anyone who willing goes back to high school."
3. Coach: "Rumors have already started and rumors become fact in high school."
State of Affairs -
1. Banks: "We, and by that I mean you, have a problem with the Ar Rissalah 7." Dash: "Yeah, they drove off a cliff." Banks: "That's not a problem. That's divine intervention."
2. David: "Your sole job tonight is to protect the mission to kill Omar Fattah…" PotUS: "Get out, David." David: "And Sheik Hakam…" PotUS: "Get out." David: "So everything is on the table…" PotUS: "Get out of my office." David: "If you embrace that, you won't get blindsided. If not, well then I hope you enjoyed your first term, ma'am, because there certainly isn't going to be a second. Excuse me."
3. Syd: "Old age and treachery will beat youth and skill every time."
