A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team this past week. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off below the article.
AGENT CARTER, "Time & Tide", 13th January, 2015
Tonya Papanikolas: Jarvis “What brings you here?”
Peggy “My landlady gave me an idea.”
Jarvis “Oh, splendid. Now if we could get an opinion from your butcher.”
Jarvis “Mr. Stark believed the intruder had some advanced technological assistance.”
Peggy “Mr. Stark believes brushing your teeth requires advanced technological assistance.”
AMERICAN HORROR STORY: FREAK SHOW, "Show Stoppers", 14th January, 2015
Sharon Seymour: Paul “What do we do now?”
Desiree “Steal her jewelry and bury the b**ch.”
BANSHEE, "Snakes and Whatnot", 16th January, 2015
Bradley Adams: Job "This ain't just another bad motherf***er. This is the guy they send in to clean out all the other bad motherf***ers."
Hood "On the other hand, if you steal from a thief, no one calls the cops."
Another great Job quote. And the irony in that Hood quote amuses me to no end.
Job "Baby, this whole fake sheriff bulls*** is getting in the way of your real job, you hear me?"
Hood "Hard not to." also picked by sandi
Hood "OK, let me be clear. You and the Redbones can tear each other apart. I don't give a sh**. Just hurry the f*** up."
sandi: Sugar "I'll pull the door off the hinges the old-fashioned way."
Job "Like you got any other motherf***ing way."
Loving the Sugar/Job banter this season!
Hood "Do I look like someone who knows what's good for him?"
Nola "What's going on here?"
Anders "Get lost, Pocahontas, ain't none of your business."
Nola "Normally, I'd agree. But if you're messing with the only person who can serve me some of that apple pie, then I'm afraid it is my concern."
Anders "I'll give you three seconds to walk your pretty little ass out that door before I..." [Nola floors him]
Nola "Don't talk about my ass!"
CASTLE, "Castle, P.I.", 12th January, 2015
Sharon Seymour: Esposito “I hate to admit it, but Baby Castle over here may be right.”
EMPIRE, "Outspoken King", 14th January, 2015
Nirat Anop: Cookie "Porscha get my damn shoe."
Cookie "The Lucious Lyon I knew would tell these idiots the streets ain't made for everybody that's why they made sidewalks."
Lucious "My music expresses my world, that's how I grew up. Where you either sold drugs or you watched children go hungry. Where half of your family is locked off in prison. Our music is more of a narration of an oppressed people. You see the Empire artists are telling the next generation that even though they live in a world where Trayvon Martin can get shot down like a dog without..."
Reporter "How does it give them hope if all the songs do is promote more violence."
Lucious "While there's hope in the fact that these kids are expressing their anger with music and poetry and not with a 12 gage shotgun."
Reporter "Do you feel that you can still speak to these kids even though your now living in penthouses and yachts."
Lucious "I tried to talk to my sons. I don't think they're listening to me. Maybe it's me not listening to them."
Cookie "You don't need to drop him because of the shooting, drop him because his music sucks."
Kid FoFo "Who is this stupid b**ch?"
Cookie "Someone who would have never gave birth to yo ugly ass"
Kid FoFo "Oh hell no."
Cookie "Let him go Vernon, I faced bigger in prison with more talent b**ch!."
FOREVER, "Diamonds Are Forever", 13th January, 2015
Tonya Papanikolas: Det. Hanson (as Lucas poses in a gun-holding stance) “Lucas, take your hand out from underneath. You look ridiculous.”
Lucas “I believe that Mr. Magnum P.I. would disagree.”
Henry’s voiceover “Fate can be cruel: a minute here, a minute there – and lives can be lost. But fate also gives us moments of impossible grace – moments in time when we come together and connect in a way that is profound, chance occurrences so precious that they almost make one believe in the divine – that there is someone out there looking after us.”
HART OF DIXIE, "The Curling Iron", 16th January, 2015
Tonya Papanikolas: Zoe “What is that?”
Thelma “It’s a baby. I thought you were a doctor.”
IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA, "The Gang Beats Boggs", 14th January, 2015
sandi: Mac "Holy sh**, dude! You roped that!"
Charlie (slurring badly) "That's the Wade Boggs style! All right, give me another one."
Mac "You know, that's the only ball I have, and I didn't expect you to hit it that far. I really don't feel like going to get it. So, I'm the commissioner. I say you did it!"
Charlie "Game on!"
Mac Yeah! Hey, one for one - that's batting a thousand, dude."
Charlie "That's baseball, baby!"
NCIS, "The Enemy Within", 13th January, 2015
Daniel van der Veer: McGee "Tobias, you have my condolences."
Fornell "Diane was very fond of you. I know you two were close."
McGee "We weren't that close."
I love how Fornell, despite his grief, still manages to tease McGee with what happened between him and Diane two years ago.
Zoe "Relax, Spider. They know about us."
Tony "Who knows?"
Everyone "We all know."
Gibbs "It's about time. Geeze."
Of course they all knew that Tony is in a relationship. No surprise here, but a funny quote.
PERSON OF INTEREST, "Control-Alt-Delete", 13th January, 2015
Sharon Seymour: Control "Do you even know how many problems I have solved for you, Mike? 853. All enemy combatants, many on American soil. Identified by Research and handled by me. And by ‘handled,' you realize I mean killed, right?” also picked by Bradley Adams
Bradley Adams: Finch "You foolish woman. You don't understand. You're not in control of anything. You're just a clean-up crew. You're the janitor." also picked by Justyna Kubica
Bradley - Woah. Michael Emerson clearly used some of his LOST talents for this scene. It felt like I was watching Ben Linus all over again.
Justyna - Amazing, powerful moment and a great speech.
THE MUSKETEERS, "The Good Traitor", 16th January, 2015
sandi: Rochefort "Say it. Say it now."
Prostitute "I love you, Rochefort. I have always loved you. All these years, I have ached for your return."
Rochefort "Yes." (prompts her) "I despise..."
Prostitute "I despise my husband, the King. You are the only man I have ever wanted."
This spoke volumes about how Rochefort saw himself through his torture at the hands of the Spanish. Putting those words into the mouth of the prostitute can only mean they are his own thoughts that comforted him when they put him through the many mock hangings, and other more physical agonies he endured for years. No wonder he's a complete nutter now!
Samara "Thank you for trying to save my father."
Porthos "He was a great man. A hero."
Samara "He taught me everything. Life is going to be so hard without him."
Porthos "I, er, I never knew my father."
Samara "Not at all?"
Porthos "No, I guess he, er, abandoned us. I don't know, I don't remember. Samara, no matter how much you're hurting right now, I'd rather be in your position. Now when the grief fades, you'll still have his memory. Treasure that, it's a gift."
Good advice from Porthos for anyone who has lost a loved one, he does show great wisdom and empathy at times which I adore about him. He and Samara had a lovely relationship that I'm glad didn't get over complicated by turning it into a romantic one.
