A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team this past week. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off below the article.
AMERICAN HORROR STORY: FREAK SHOW, "Pink Cupcakes", 5th November, 2014
Sharon Seymour: Elsa “I would rather be boiled in oil than be on television.”
ARROW, "The Secret Origin of Felicity Smoak", 5th November, 2014
Nirat Anop: Oliver "Are you OK?"
Felicity "I guess. Old lovers have a way of opening old wounds. Lovers. Sounds creepy no matter how you say it."
Oliver "Felicity, I want you to know that whatever experiences you had to go through, I'm glad that you did to shape the person that you are today. And you know how I feel about her."
Donna "Hey! Hey, you want to wave that gun at me, fine, but don't you dare threaten my daughter."
Cooper "Here I thought you were all nails and hair."
Donna "Try single mom who worked 60 hour weeks in six inch heels to raise that genius child you see right there. I may not understand all this cyber whatever, but I know about that gun. You wouldn't last ten seconds against my girl."
CRIMINAL MINDS, "If the Show Fits", 5th November, 2014
Laura Markus: David Rossi "It's probably just my easy-going nature, but if I stabbed someone a dozen times, I think they'd be out of my system."
David Rossi "While I appreciate your concern, I appreciate my brain just the way it is."
Once again, Rossi continues to be the sassiest quote-deliverer on the show.
DOCTOR WHO, "Death in Heaven", 8th November, 2014
Nirat Anop: The Doctor "The difference is this. Pain is a gift. Without the capacity for pain, we can't feel the hurt we inflict."
Clara "What? You think I would give up The Doctor? Don't be daft. I would never, ever give up The Doctor, because he is my best friend, too. He is the closest person to me in this whole world. He is the man I will always forgive, always trust. He is the one man I would never, ever lie to." also picked by sandi
Missy "Hey Missy you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Missy! Hey Missy! Ha!"
sandi: The Doctor "Why are you still alive?"
Missy "You saved me."
The Doctor "I saved Gallifrey."
Missy "Yes, Gallifrey too, I suppose. There’s always collateral damage with you and me. It’s our Paris."
The Doctor "Gallifrey’s lost in another dimension."
Missy "Yes and no."
The Doctor "Meaning?"
Missy "Yes, it’s in another dimension. No, it’s not lost."
The Doctor "You know where it is?"
Missy "Yep. You know the best part about knowing? Not… telling… you!"
Clara "Why don’t you like hugging, Doctor?"
The Doctor "Never trust a hug. It’s just a way to hide your face."
GOTHAM, "Penguin's Umbrella", 3rd November, 2014
sandi: Oswald Cobblepot "If you agree and Gordon spares me. Then I will become your snitch for life. I will come back to Gotham under a different name, and I will work my way into the Maroni family and I will snitch for you. I am excellent at this sort of work. I have a gift for it. I really do, sir."
Falcone "You really do have a gift. But I think we're making a mistake letting Gordon live. He's trouble."
Cobblepot "Thank you so much for sparing him. I appreciate the favour. Don't worry, he'll see the light one way or another. I guarantee it."
GREY'S ANATOMY, "Don't Let's Start", 6th November, 2014
Robert Fruin: Meredith "I have to have dinner with the sister I don't know, and the bio dad she hates, because you gave up your chance to work for Obama. You going to play that card, of course you are, because you be playing that card to the end of frickin time"
Maggie "You've got the wrong idea, I'm not angry with you for being a bad father;your not my dad. You are just a man who slept with a woman which made it possible for me to be born. My dad is my present; you are my past, you are my genetic history. I didn't need you to be a good father, I just needed you to be honest"
HAWAII FIVE-0, "Ina Paha", 7th November, 2014
Ben Norton: Steve "Why did you try to kill my father? What did he ever do to you?!"
Bradley Adams: Steve "What kind of cop are you?"
Danny "The kind of cop that gets things done."
Sang Min "I'm no rat, I'm Five-0, newly minted, kickin' ass and taking names."
Grover "No, you're a rat, shut your mouth."
Sharon Seymour: Kamekona "And who are you? Stripper-gram?"
HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER, "He Deserved to Die", 6th November, 2014
Bradley Adams: Asher "You forgot his name and he's still into you? What do you have, some sort of voodoo penis?"
Connor "See you back at the house."
Asher "I'm so freaking mad I wasn't born gay."
Bonnie "Are you drunk?"
Asher "No... wait, did you say drunk - yeah. (whispers) Hammered"
NCIS: LOS ANGELES, "SEAL Hunter", 3rd Novemeber, 2014
Tonya Papanikolas: Eric "Account hacking is like sex. You've got to get to know all the aspects of the server - her secrets, her fears."
Hetty "If you believe hacking is like sex, Mr. Beal, then we need to have a very long talk."
Kensi "I could have just picked the lock."
Deeks "Yeah - and miss this opportunity to impress you?"
Kensi "You are part orangutan."
Deeks "You're looking at my butt, aren't you? Damn right - you're looking at my butt!"
ONCE UPON A TIME, "Family Business", 2nd November, 2014
Nirat Anop: Regina "It's bad enough I'm stuck with you and Captain Guyliner making eyes at each other."
Emma "I don't make eyes." also picked by Sharon Seymour
Anna ".. Because I'm a good judge of character"
Kristoff "Says the girl who agreed to marry Hans 10 minutes after you started talking to him"
Anna "I was young and naive"
Kristoff "You met me the next day"
Anna "Younger"
Regina "Robin, I'm sorry, but if you truly want to save Marian.. You're going to have to forget about me and find a way to fall in love with your wife again."
Mirrored Belle "That certainly wasn't you most heroic moment, not that you've ever been hero material"
Belle "Please, please stop"
Mirrored Belle "Everyone sees you for what you truly are Belle, a pathetic coward. Why do you think the Dark One married you? You think it was love? He needed someone weak, someone he could manipulate"
Belle "That's not true, he loves me, he gave me this"
Mirrored Belle "[Laughing] You truly believe that's real, deep down you know what kind of beast your dealing with."
RED BAND SOCIETY, "Ergo Ego", 5th November, 2014
Tonya Papanikolas: Jordi "Dr. McAndrew told me to think of a happy memory before you go under so when you wake up, you'll be in your happy place."
Kara "You mean I'll wake up under a Hemsworth brother?"
Kara "Can one of you slackers come check my IV? What is this - Calcutta? Burbank?"
SCORPION, "Father's Day", 3rd November, 2014
Ben Norton: Walter "You're the closest thing I have to a father, and you betrayed me."
SONS OF ANARCHY, "What A Piece Of Work Is Man", 4th November, 2014
Robert Fruin: Bobby "Whatever it is, beats to leading back to one of us slitting your throat"
Gemma "I will keep on telling myself that I'm a model citizen, and you keep pretending that badge ain't tarnished"
THE BIG BANG THEORY, "The Prom Equivalency", 6th November, 2014
Geo N: Sheldon "I love you, too"
It was such an amazing moment when Sheldon says this to Amy.
Ben Norton: Sheldon "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Just because I love you doesn't mean girls are allowed in my room."
THE BLACKLIST, "The Scimitar", 3rd November, 2014
Geo N: Red "Personally, I make it a habit to avoid habits"
Bradley Adams: Red "George Orwell wrote 'Those who abjure violence can do so only because others are committing violence on their behalf.' What a visionary, but good lord his books are a downer."
Red "First, understand, I didn't have to come here alone. In fact, I didn't have to come here at all. I could've sent... seven men to put an end to this war."
I love how Red takes a second to look around at Berlin's 15+ men and says that seven men would've done the job. Red is so brilliant when expressing his confidence.
Red "Don't do anything that I wouldn't do."
VAMPIRE DIARIES, "The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get", 6th November, 2014
Tonya Papanikolas: Damon "Stefan could have told me there's a vampire hunter in town."
Enzo "It probably slipped his mind because he's responsible for my incarceration."
Damon "Now why would he do that?"
Enzo "He's probably jealous of my accent!"
