A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team this past week. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off below the article.
AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. "The Things We Bury", 18th November, 2014
Sharon Seymour: Coulson “His communication skills? Flawed. But he could always see five steps ahead of him, which for a one-eyed man is impressive.”
ARROW, "Draw Back Your Bow", 19th November, 2014
Babar Suhail: Dr. Pressnall "If you'll permit a professional observation, you could use a little therapy yourself."
The Arrow "What gives you that impression?"
Dr. Pressnall "You mean, apart from the mask and the Robin Hood costume?"
CRIMINAL MINDS, "The Boys of Sudworth Place", 19th November, 2014
Laura Markus: David Rossi "Even with someone this perfect, they're bound to have some skeletons in the closet."
Penelope Garcia "I am made of cream, gimme your coffee?"
It was a good night for quotes from the whole cast.
GRACEPOINT, "Episode 8", 20th November, 2014
Tonya Papanikolas: Paul Coates (to Det. Carver) “You can accuse me, you can take DNA samples, you can ridicule who I was in the past. But you don’t get to belittle my faith just because you’re too shut down to comprehend it. People need hope right now and they’re certainly not getting it from you.”
HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER, "Kill Me, Kill Me, Kill Me", 20th November, 2014
Bradley Adams: Connor "If one of these idiots touches my car, I'm gonna run them over."
Connor (after disposing of Sam) "Same time next week?"
Jimmy Ryan: Wes (to Sam's body) "I'm so sorry"
Annalise (to Wes) "Don't be"
Dahne: Connor "Enough about the ring, Frodo."
Michaela "See what happens when you use your brain instead of your penis."
NCIS, "Semper Fortis", 18th November, 2014
Ben Norton: Tony "You know the "Men" in "Men's Room" is more of a rule than a suggestion, probie."
Bishop "Look, you two always get to go off giggling to the urinal together and I always get left out. So we're going to talk and we're going to do it here."
NCIS: LOS ANGELES, "The Grey Man", 17th Novemeber, 2014
Tonya Papanikolas: Kensi “I wouldn’t let Artie touch me.”
Deeks “I’ll have you know you’re not really Artie’s type, anyway.”
Kensi “I used to be.”
Deeks “What? What you mean?”
Kensi “Did you know I lived on the street down here after my dad died?”
Deeks “No, um, no, I didn’t know that.”
Kensi “You’re lying to me. I know Hetty told you.”
Deeks “Nah, come on, Hetty didn’t tell me anything. Actually she specifically said that she didn’t tell me anything.”
Kensi “You can fool everyone else, Deeks. Can’t fool me.”
Deeks “So you want to talk about it?”
Kensi “Not really.… Like I wasn’t even me anymore – just a different person.”
Deeks “Well, I wish I would’ve known her.”
Kensi “No you don’t.”
Kensi “Why do I always have to come up with a plan? What’s your plan?”
Deeks “My plan is to live long and prosper, you know what I mean? To make little baby Deeks, little ninja assassins with fantastic hair.”
Kensi “Not likely in this job. Deeks, the only reason I didn’t tell you about being homeless…”
Deeks “Really? Is this the best time to have this conversation?”
Kensi “It was the worst period of my life. I made a lot of mistakes. And I only ever want you to see the best part of me. Okay?”
Deeks “Okay. Just to narrow it down for me, though, the best part of you – is that your ankles? ‘Cause you got pretty sexy ankles. Your feet, they’re alright. Your toes are a little weird. But the rest of you…”
Kensi “That’s exactly why I never talk to you.”
ONCE UPON A TIME, "Smash the Mirror Part 1/Part 2", 16th November, 2014
Nirat Anop: Henry "It must be nice to have magic and be useful."
Regina "What's that supposed to mean?"
Henry "I went out there to help her, but I couldn't do anything because I'm just ordinary."
Regina "Henry. We are each given our own gifts. You have the heart of the truest believer, you brought us all together, never think your ordinary just because you don't have magic, or claws or purple shorts."
Regina "You get a quarter from the 'Hope Commissioner' everytime you say that word, admit it."
Mary Margaret "I'm serious."
Regina "Well it's easy for you to say, you're a hero. Whenever you need help it just magically shows up like Henry's book."
Mary Margaret "I think that when you do good the universe takes care of you, that's why I shut up."
Regina "It doesn't really matter why, you're wishes are rewarded, mine are crushed."
Regina "I refuse to believe that happiness is impossible for you to achieve, you've come to far. And yes you may be sleeping with a married man but so have I."
Regina "I've done far worse than that."
Mary Margaret "Which doesn't mean you can't earn forgiveness, a chance at grace, I have to believe that."
Regina "If you do good hoping to be redeemed is it really good? Maybe evil is born. That's just who I am."
Mary Margaret "Regina, you saw me grow up, you know how selfish and shallow I could be as a child. You know what I've done since. You have literally seen my heart. You know it's not untouched. You are not all evil and I am not all good. Things are not that simple."
Regina "Well whoever is guiding all this seems to think it is. You're the hero and I'm the villian. Free will be damned. It's all in the book and we both know how it plays out."
Mary Margaret "Mmm, maybe, maybe not. Your stories went poorly because you make bad choices but now your making good ones. It may not happen as quick as you want it but if you stay the course your happiness will come."
Regina "You honestly believe that."
Mary Margaret "It doesn't matter what I believe, what matters is that you do."
Sharon Seymour: Regina “This could be the worst idea you've ever had — and you hired the Wicked Witch as your nanny.”
PERSON OF INTEREST, "Point of Origin", 18th November, 2014
Bradley Adams: Customer "Ex-boyfriend?"
Shaw "More like ex-pain-in-the-ass."
Reese "Well, that looks dangerous. You first." also picked by DarkUFO
DarkUFO: Dominic "We all die in the end."
Ben Norton: Reese "Him? He's scuba certified."
SCANDAL, "Where the Sun Don't Shine", 20th November, 2014
Tonya Papanikolas: Jake “We don’t have to stay here, you know. Say the word, I will stop trying to find your father. We can pack up and leave all of this behind. We can load Pandora’s box and go back to the sun.”
Olivia “The sun went down a long time ago and it’s not coming back.”
Charlie “Oh, snap – you like me.”
Quinn “I don’t like you.”
Charlie “You don’t want me dead.”
Quinn “I wanted to warn you.”
Charlie “You like me. It’s sweet. It’s… life-affirming.”
Quinn “Get out of the car.”
SCORPION, "Rogue Element", 17th November, 2014
Ben Norton: Walter "For what it's worth, when I was young, you were like a father to me. Sometimes you still are."
THE 100, "Human Trials", 19th November, 2014
Dahne: Abby "She thinks that because of what she's been through, she's changed. She's still just a kid."
Raven "You're wrong, Abby. She stopped being a kid the day you sent her down here to die."
Murphy (to Finn) "You know I think I liked you better as a peacemaker."
THE GOLDBERGS, "A Goldberg Thanksgiving", 19th November, 2014
Dahne: Beverly "Who's ready for some Jazzercise?"
Erica "People with no shame."
Erica "Pops please, I don't want to hear one of your adorable, wise lectures that makes me a better person."
THE GOOD WIFE, "Sticky Content", 16th November, 2014
Wilson Crawford: Alicia "You want to be re-elected? You want me to be elected? Then zip up your pants, shut your mouth, and stop banging the help!"
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, "Fade Into You", 20th November, 2014
Sharon Seymour: Damon "There are no drawbacks to this woman, Stefan!"
Stefan "Eh, she did sleep with you."
Damon "See? Another plus!"
THE WALKING DEAD, "Consumed", 16th November, 2014
DarkUFO: Daryl (looking at a painting in some executives old office) "I bet this cost some rich prick a lot of money. Looks like a dog sat in paint, wiped its ass all over the place."
Carol "Really? I kinda like it."
diana mack: Carol "Me and Sophia stayed at that shelter for a day and a half before I went running back to Ed. I went home, I got beat up, life went on, and I just kept praying for something to happen. But I didn’t do anything. Not a damn thing. Who I was with him… she got burned away. And I was happy about that. I mean, not happy, but… And at the prison I got to be who I always thought I should be, thought I should’ve been. And then she got burned away. Everything now just… consumes you."
Daryl "Hey, we ain't ashes."
