What TV has taught me this week is anyone and everyone can be a psycho. No wonder people are paranoid these days. TV is making us that way. Or maybe I just need to watch more wholesome TV. Other than that, it was a fairly light week (no new shows and reruns on Tuesday) filled with high points (The Big Bang Theory surprisingly) and low points (still with the love triangle, Red Band Society?). This week's nominated episode was one of the low points, which is a shame since Criminal Minds is already on my to-watch list for hiatus. I guess I just picked a bad one. Despite this review, it is a good show if you aren't easily wigged out. Next week, the nominated episode is from Bones, so hopefully it will be one to rave about. If you have a nominated show you would like me to watch, please fill out the 2 question form below. No need to nominate weekly shows or anything already reviewed this season. Until next week, leave a comment and happy TV viewing.
Criminal Minds - 9.01/9.02 - The Inspiration / The Inspired
Note - I started watching Criminal Minds this summer when it came on as a mini marathon on Ion. I love the show even though I can't watch too many episodes at once or at night - too creepy. My plan was to watch the episodes in order but the nominated episode was any from season 9. Therefore, I am jumping into season 9 with the premiere but I have no clue what has transpired. Here's hoping for no big spoilers that will ruin crucial plot points in earlier episodes.
Raise your hand if these episodes made you think of Buffy season 1 - Teacher's Pet. Nobody? Just me then. In a way, I wish this unsub were a bug monster because that would be far less unsettling than someone who acts out their bug fantasies in the first one and the sickest family since the Benders in the second. This is one disgusting, cannibalistic 2-parter that just thinking of turns my stomach. Quite frankly, while many Criminal Minds episodes unsettle me, these go beyond that. There are too many parts designed to shock and awe that the whole thing seems to topple under its own weight. It feels like a premiere designed to get people talking but by the time it ended I was mostly fatigued. Plus I really hate bugs. If these had been the first two episodes I saw, I would never watch this again. Good thing I started with a garden variety serial killer then. So while these are episodes I will never watch again, I do highly recommend the series to people who don't mind crime procedurals designed to make you jump.
Grade: D / C
Ranking - 5 - it is still on my hiatus to-watch list even if I dislike these episodes
Audience - those who like their crime procedurals a lot more scary, way more twisted, and a bit more gory
Best Reason to Watch - the twists come fast and often
The "Say What?" Award - So let me get this straight. The unsub has an unhealthy fascination with bugs and makes his victims go through a praying mantis mating and death ritual. Is that what you're saying? Perhaps the writers need to seek counseling. A lot of counseling.
Biggest Twist…if You weren't Already Spoiled by IMDb - the psycho is an identical twin
Strangest Product Placement - JJ and Spencer talk about a car Spencer doesn't even own
The "I Guess Even Geniuses aren't Immune" Award - Spencer seems to be having trouble with the who vs. whom dilemma too
The "Welcome Back" Award - Camryn Manheim. She makes everything more intense as seen here
Most Disgusting - the unsub puts part of his first victim into the food at the restaurant he works at. Please excuse me while I vomit.
Moral = If Psycho gets impregnated by Crazy, they spawn demons. Good to know.
Best Quotes -
1. Penelope: "I say we all demand a vacation." Spencer: "From who? The guy who works 3 jobs? Good luck with that."
2. Rossi: "See no evil. Hear no gossip." JJ: "Oh come on, we see evil all day long."
Resurrection - 2.06 - Afflictions
The shady get shadier in Arcadia this week, with everyone lying either to themselves or each other. Let's just say that they take secret keeping to a whole new level. I really hate the idea of Bellamy not telling Maggie that he is one of the returned himself. It's causing unnecessary conflict between them when she really needs a hug. I'm also not sure how long Margaret can keep up her iron fist on a family used to dealing without her. Lucille is certainly not happy about her return. Mostly though, I am worried about how long the show can go without any answers before the ratings crash and people give up. They need to have one heck of a midseason finale or there might not be anyone left to care about the mystery. Plus, they really needed to give us more of Fred's reaction to his wife's re-death after building up his happiness at her presence last week.
Grade: C+
Worst Twist - Ray, who was awesome previously, is now starting an anti-returned cult
The "Liar, Liar" Award - Margaret lies right to Maggie's face about her mom
Biggest Awww Moment - Maggie tells Fred that Barbara is gone and he offers her tea
Most Intense Scene - Fred confronts Margaret about Barbara
Biggest Threat - Margaret to Elaine about what she saw when Barbara disappeared
Most Shady - In a show with secret government officials, it's the real estate guy who is the most suspicious right from the beginning. His grandpa is up to no good too.
Most Mysterious - Angela the Fed Lady, who claims to be a statistician and can predict the returned
Most Normal - Lucille and Jacob talk about white lies
Most in Need of a Hug - Maggie, although my guess is Fred does too
Best Continuity - Bellamy's parents were one of the returned, which makes him double returned
My Prediction - the lab is in or near Arcadia
Best Quotes -
1. Margaret: "What the hell did Barbara ever do for you?" Fred: "She gave me Maggie."
2. Henry: "Nobody can predict their future but that doesn't mean we should live as if we won't have one. We have today, we have right now, and we hope for tomorrow."
Sleepy Hollow - 2.07 - Deliverance
Podcast:
http://www.southgatemediagroup.com/headless-a-sleepy-hollow-podcast
Grade: B-
Best Reason to Watch - Katrina joins the group, which is about time / Ichabod's devotion to his wife, which is practically unheard of on TV these days
Best Scene - Abbie reassures Katrina / Henry vs. Ichabod
Best Moment - Abbie deciphers the code to Ichabod's chagrin
The "Can't Underestimate a Parent's Love" Award - I agree with Abbie that trying to reach Henry should never be Plan A. Still I completely understand where Katrina and Ichabod are coming from. Nothing is stronger than a parent's love.
Best Plan - Ichabod uses Irving to get an audience with Henry
Best Student - Ichabod knows how to do CPR after watching Hawley perform it on Abbie
The "I Can't Believe It's Working" Award - If Abraham weren't a crazy stalker and a horseman of the apocalypse and a serial killer, I would really like the guy. He's insane but earnest and dedicated to his love.
Best Humor - Ichabod's disdain for poor voter turnout and American Idol
Nicest Switch - Katrina and Ichabod open with a nice moment from their past instead of strife and death…until the spider and screaming and illness.
Best Remedy - the "I Voted" sticker is just the salve Ichabod's indignation needs
The "You're Rivaling Beacon Hills Memorial" Award - and that's never a good thing. Westchester General staff doesn't even respond when a patient screams in pain? That's beyond sucky patient service.
The "I Feel Your Pain" Award - I can't stand how slow my work computer is. Dial-up would be a nightmare.
Biggest Ewww Moment - Moloch sheds his skin
Best Jealousy - Ichabod's reaction to other men staring at Katrina in her new getup
Worst Jealousy - Abbie and Ichabod insinuate that Katrina willingly slept with Abraham and got pregnant. Are you kidding me? Gibbs slap to you both. A whole host of Gibbs slaps.
The "Oh Just Stop" Award - Ichabod blames himself for Katrina's illness. Buddy, your life is a beacon for evil. Nothing you can do about where it strikes. Just get over it.
Most Missed - Jenny, who I am dying to see work with Katrina
Best Quotes -
1. Ichabod: "You are sick with Moloch's evil, but you can fight it. You can spare her, Jeremy. You have a choice." Henry: "Yes I do and I choose Moloch. I choose his leadership. I choose his might. I choose his fire that will burn the world."
2. Ichabod: "I fought through lines of British regulars for the right to vote, yet our modern countrymen can barely form a line. Of course, they're more than passionate to vote for American Idolatry." Abbie: "American Idol." Ichabod: "I know its name. I'm telling you what it should be called."
3. Ichabod: "Evidence of good in him is not proof that he will change." Katrina: "Every day in Purgatory I woke up without any proof I could ever save you. What kept me going was faith. I clung on to it for 231 years. Had I done so for 230, we would not be here today. Remember your own words, my love. We must have faith."
Scorpion - 1.07 - Father's Day
For the record, I had no idea what a peek frean was either and I actually lived in the 80's. Perhaps it was because I am not British or maybe I was consciously blocking this earworm commercial jingle from my mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4R3fqsyl4k. Fair warning - If you play this jingle, I am not responsible for the results.
On topic this episode is presumably about Paige but it has a surprising amount of Walter flashbacks and his own prejudice against normals. He really does have an us versus them mentality. Quite frankly, I don't find him as interesting as the others so not every episode needs to be about him and his emotional problems for me. As for Paige, her ex is an unknown quantity not just for the episode but for the show as a whole. I am of the "If it's not broke, don't fix it" variety so adding a new character so early in the game could change the dynamics for good or bad. By far the best part of the episode was Happy and her father though. I really hope we see more with these two in the future.
Grade: B+
Best Reason to Watch - back story on Paige, Happy, Walter, and Callo
Best Scene - Happy tells Paige that Ralph needs to see his dad
Worst Plan - anytime this group does something without running it by Callo
The "Time to Stop Talking" Award - when someone says to butt out, it's best not to insert your foot in your mouth and keep going
The "What a Difference a Dot Makes" Award - Toby gets one letter wrong in Morse code and the rescue team is on the wrong side of the compound
Storyline I Most Hope Continues - Happy and her dad
The "I Have No Idea What You're Talking About" Award - Callo, I am old and I don't know about your grandma's cookies either. Maybe it was a regional thing.
The "Welcome Back" Award - to Keith David from my beloved and much missed Enlisted
The "You Sure You're Not Pranking Him" Award - If I were Callo, I would side eye anyone telling me to talk to a bag of chips. Of course with these guys, it's science.
Least Comforting - Walter hacks into Chinese satellites that are taking pictures of US prisons
King of Semantics - Toby, who puts slightly different emphasis on words and thinks it's okay to do whatever he wants. For the record, it's not.
Weirdest Personality Test - the fruit test
Best Music - Brandy by Looking Glass
Best Quotes -
1. Gabe: "You look after the kid, I'll look after you just like I used to. That's how this is going to work, okay?" Walter: "Okay."
2. Gabe: "Alright, take it easy. It's my first time yelling at a bag of chips."
3. Gabe: "Not all smart people are saints, O'Brien, so don’t let that genius-sized chip on your shoulder cloud your judgment."
Jane the Virgin - 1.04 - Chapter 4
I like when Jane the Virgin gets poignant. I am not a fan of its telenovela side. Therefore I spend about half of every episode cringing. The good news is that the poignant scenes were extra moving here. I love Xiomara confessing to her mother that she's afraid to tell Jane the truth because then she might lost her. I also liked Jane's scenes with her. This show is best when it stays within the family. The bad news is things got even more soap opera, which I didn't think could possibly happen. Now we have Chechen blackmailers? Why? I was hanging on to the idea that at least Rafael didn't see Jane in that way but even that was taken away at the end. Big sigh.
Grade: C
Best Reason to Watch - the secrets just keep coming
Best Scene - Xiomara tells Alba she's afraid of losing Jane if she tells her the truth
Most Bizarre - Michael and Jane have a sleepover with an open door and her grandma down the hall
Biggest Cross-talking - Abuela wants Xiomara to tell Jane the truth but Xiomara takes it as an excuse for a booty call
The "Say What?" Award - I don't think I've ever heard marriage described as a car before
Most Cheez-Whiz - Jane sees a halo of light around Rafael's head as he talks
The "Welcome Back" Award - Michael Rady from Greek and Intelligence
The "I Don't Blame Him" Award - I have to say that the more this show continues, the more I am Team Michael. He is getting screwed in every direction.
The "So Has Everyone Screwed Everyone Except Jane?" Award - because it feels like it.
The "Ummmm" Award - exactly how far is it from the police station to the hotel because the way Jane keeps running back and forth it feels like it is on the hotel grounds
Best Quotes -
1. Jane: "Mom, I had a dream." Xiomara: "Like a Martin Luther King kind of thing."
2. Jane: "You're not going to kidnap me and hold me for ransom in a cave quickly filling with water, are you?"
Benched - 1.02 - Downsizing
Nina continues to charm as a down and out public defender who used to have it all. Too bad her douchebag ex keeps causing her crazy to come out. In this episode Nina humbles herself before Debbie, the woman who got the job she thought was hers, in order to give a speech she thinks can bring her back to corporate law. Sadly, things don't work out. While I laughed more in the pilot, this episode had lots of heart especially from Phil. I love how he pep talks Nina to get her through her current crisis and still brings the snark. So far, so good for this new comedy.
Grade: B+
Best Reason to Watch - Nina is a dysfunctional mess but oh so much fun while doing it
Best Scene - Phil pep talks Nina on the stairs
Best New Term - Jagbag
Biggest Oops - Nothing like almost breaking another vase after you got fired for breaking an expensive one
Best Reference - Keebler elves
Best Quotes -
1. Nina: "Jag bags? Which are?" Phil: "That's what you get when you combine jaggoff corporate lawyers and douchebag corporate lawyers."
2. Phil: "It's like a Harry Potter convention, except instead of nerds in robes it's jag bags in suits." Nina: "Well I think this girl needs to get her Potter wand broom thingy and get ready to fight some wizard zombie in glasses. I've never seen the movie."
The 100 - 1.03 - Reapercussions
While we basically just traded Clarke and Anya in Mount Weather for Lincoln there and Finn became completely unrecognizable, I loved everything else. Mixing up the interactions continues to work and I am excited to see more of Anya and Clarke's reluctant alliance. Those two are amazing together so I cannot wait until they are actually in battle side by side. I also think that putting Bellamy and Finn together with such a role reversal has been fascinating, if unsettling for one of my favorite characters. The best thing this show has done so far this season is pull these two out of the love triangle and given them a story outside of it. Kane continues to be one of the richest characters, as I waver between cheering for him and wanting to smack him. Still, Jaha needs to reunite with his people and provide a clearer vision between Abbie's recklessness due to her need to find Clarke and Kane's tunnel vision approach to discipline. The struggle to acclimate to the ground for the Ark members is as interesting as it was for the 100.
Grade: A-
Best Reason to Watch - the fantastic pacing
Best Scene - Kane asks Abbie to be Chancellor while he's away
Best Character Interaction - Bellamy and Finn / Clarke and Anya
Best Action - Octavia and the grounders against the reapers
The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - What the hell happened to Finn? I hope you get captured, you moron. For one, you don't kill someone before you know their info is good. Second, don't kill anyone unarmed.
Moron #2 Award - Jasper is just going to take it at face value that Clarke cracked up? Who is this guy?
The "Hope You Stay Awhile" Award - Anya, formerly Grounder Queen and one of my favorite characters
The "Again, Michael Westen is Always Right" Award - torture leads to bad intel
Most Disturbing - Clarke and Anya in the cart with almost dead grounders thrown on top of them
Best Decision - Kane chooses a diplomatic approach to the grounders, which even if it backfires is a positive step toward character growth
Most Compassionate - Anya kills the grounder before he can be killed by reapers
The "Wow, A Plan Actually Worked" Award - Bellamy's plan to lure the grounder with Clarke's watch worked…on the first try and everything. This might be a first on The 100.
Most Stealthy - Octavia, who can now travel silently through the woods
Most Barbaric - Kane has Abbie electrocuted, which is somehow worse than the reapers' cannibalism
The "Yeah, Not Buying This" Award - dam jumping survival
The "If Looks Could Kill" Award - Jackson looks like he wants to electrocute Kane while treating Abbie
Best Quotes -
1. Kane: "It's not just your medical expertise that will be required. I need to know that while I'm away, you'll set a good example for our people." Abbie: "If you do this, I'll be a model citizen." Kane: "I need you to be more than that. I need you to be Chancellor. Please Abbie, for our people."
2. Anya: "I won't leave my people behind."
The Missing - 1.02 - Pray for Me
Nothing really happened in this episode except more people look shady and the case is reopened. It felt like a stop gap before the story really gets going. I'm still intrigued but less fascinated with the pacing, mostly because I fear it will turn into Gracepoint where the reveal never seems to be getting closer. Tony is a sympathetic character but if he keeps exploding in anger it is going to be harder for me to remain as empathetic, while Mark's motives seem to be unclear. Is he hiding things to protect Emily or does he have ulterior motives as well? And why exactly is Emily with him again? If she's trying to move on with her life, it doesn't make sense that she would marry someone who was an integral part of the case. Here's hoping next week lays down more clues to follow and we make some headway on the case, given this show has so few episodes.
Grade: C+
Biggest Aww - Emily's bond with Mark's son
Worst Plan for the Best Reason - Mark doesn't give Emily the message from Tony because her dad is dying and he doesn't want to stress her out even more
Best Plan - Julien forced the mayor to open the case by using the despicable journalist
The "I Feel for You But…" Award - I can't even imagine what Tony is going through but every time he does something, he only makes things so much worse.
The "Say What?" Award - The parents are about to get it on while their kid's kidnapped? That seems weird.
Worst Character - Right now Malik is running pretty close to the kidnapper in most despicable, making a name for himself off of a family's pain.
The "Sorry but It Won't Work" Award - I will not feel sorry for this pedophile, no matter how much he wants to change. You can stop trying.
Weirdest Twist - Celia is marrying the man who was their liaison in her kidnapped child's case. I would think that he would remind her of the worst time of her life.
Biggest Hmm - Tony still does not speak French even though he's been trying to track down his son in France for 8 years. What's up with that? You'd think he'd make that a priority.
Best Quotes -
1. George: "Cheap stunt." Julien: "Says the politician."
2. Tony: "You blackmailed him?" Julien: "No, I narrowed his options."
Red Band Society - 1.06 - Ergo Ergo
Too many love triangles, too much unnecessary drama, not enough awesome Nurse Jackson. Plus the only non-irksome characters were Dash (the smartest one in this episode) and Kenji (the funniest). Doctor Erin might end up being a plus as well but it's too soon to tell. Just bring on the Nurse Jackson back story please.
Grade: C
Best Reason to Watch - there was some good music in this one
Best Potential Reason to Watch - the love triangle may be at an end…I hope…really, really hope because it's a drag on a great show
Best Scene - Dr. McAndrew tells Nurse Jackson she's suspended and she starts to break in the elevator
Most Deserving - Hunter puts a blind Kara in an elevator all alone. Couldn't happen to a bigger witch?
Most Intense - Jackson vs. McAndrew, in which both said things that weren't fair
Worst Mom - Sarah Souders, who goes to a meeting before her daughter goes into surgery. Are you kidding me? Even your devil spawn shouldn't be alone to fret about it.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Mandy Moore, aka Jamie from A Walk to Remember
The "Stop While You're Ahead" Award - Brittany who does better when she doesn't ramble
Best Teen - Dash, who may be the only person in the show who didn't annoy me - teen or adult
Best Adult - Kenji, who reigns in Kara and dishes the gossip
The "Please Shut Up" Award - Emma's jealousy is not at all entertaining
Least Sympathetic - Kara, who is about 2 episodes away from me rooting for her death just to get her off my screen and I'm a teacher so I'm naturally inclined to want happy endings for all kids
The "Bruised Bananas" Award - this is the new name for the previous "Touchy Feely Self-Help Yoga" Award and the honor goes to New Doc and her fruit-avenging ghost spirit
Least Exciting Subplot - Jordi and Leo fighting over Emma and everything in the classroom
The "Don't Screw with Me" Award - I have been promised back story on Nurse Jackson next week and I better get it. No side stories please.
Best Quotes -
1. Hunter: "Are you okay?" Kara: "Why wouldn't I be okay?" Hunter: "You're talking to hand sanitizer."
2. McAndrew: "Well that's my job right? Do the right thing, which is why I had to report you for falsifying Charlie's lab work. I knew you wanted to buy Charlie more time and the only one in this hospital with a bigger ego than me is you. You're suspended."
3. Kara: "I mean is it going to happen again. Could I go deaf or mute?" Kenji: "That would be nice…at least until the doctor was done explaining."
4. Kenji: "You want the Cliff Notes or the Les Mis version?"
5. Kenji: "She packed up and moved to Africa. Asked him to come with but life can be cruel. There are no happy endings. Fantasia can't read and Nene might quit Atlanta." Brittany: "Reign it in, Kenj."
Stalker - 1.06 - Love is a Battlefield
Twelve minutes into watching this episode I tweeted that this case would be a lot more fun if the woman was stalking herself. Woo hoo! She was. Nothing like a little old-fashioned crazy to make a bland case of the week go nuclear. The scene were Andrea creates a fantasy scenario, breaking up her house and hurting herself, in order to frame Melissa so she can shoot her was one of the best scenes of the week. The acting was intense with Jessica Tuck giving an amazing performance. Tying in Jack's infidelity was less exciting. Still I am glad that it's in the open because the mystery ceased being an interesting subplot about 10 minutes into it. What I am not so sure of is the ready acceptance of Jack the Stalker by Beth or the audience. They are trying to excuse his behavior with both ending scenes but to be honest, it came off as saying just what someone wants to hear to me. Any good psychopath serial killer can do the same thing and I'm not so sure Jack won't end with a string of bodies at his door either. He's creepy.
Grade: A-
Best Reason to Watch - the woman was stalking herself in one of the better twists of the week
Best Scene - Andrea holds Melissa hostage and creates a fantasy scene to tell the cops
Best Moment - Beth tells Janice she has nothing to apologize for in not seeing Andrea was crazy
Most Fun Fluff - everyone discussing the songs they were listening to on the way to work, which actually helped me figure out more about them
The "Talk About Cliché" Award - I knew dead dog was a given the second he was introduced, which still didn't make it any better. No boiled bunnies, no dead pets please.
Biggest Facepalm - the mistress says the ex was home all night, not because she was with him but because he said so and that automatically makes it true
The "Welcome Back" Award - Caity Lotz, last seen kicking butt and dying as Sarah on Arrow, and Jessica Tuck, the similarly fated mother of Adalind on Grimm. Also to Alex Carter, still one of my favorite recurring characters on Burn Notice as Jason Bly.
Most Juvenile - this mistress even talks like a child so I have no idea why this guy ever hooked up with her
Best Quotes -
1. Janice: "We love clichés. We live them, make movies about them. It's the LA way of life. You'll get the hang of them."
2. Andrea: "Melissa, there is nothing worse than a divorced woman with too much time and money on her hands."
3. Jack: "It's Pearl Jam. Nothing against the Carpenters, but it might be time to step into a new decade."
4. Sheldon: "Bruce Wayne doesn't wear a clip-on." Leonard: "Bruce Wayne doesn't make his roommate tie it for him." Sheldon: "His name is Alfred and yes, he does."