Criminal Minds - If The Shoe Fits - Review: "So This Is Love..."

In case you did not know, the title of this article is from the song that Cinderella and her Prince Charming sing together. I think it fits quite well, considering the strange fantasy the unsub (Unknown Subject) found herself wishing about. It was a strange episode for sure, but it had its moments of greatness.

I want to start by saying that I have been praying that Criminal Minds would do an episode with a female unsub who takes on the traits of the stereotypical male unsub (i.e. Targets women at random, goes out with them, gets tyrannical when they disobey them, kills them in a fit of rage.) Unfortunately for me, this unsub was under psychosis, so it wasn't quite the episode I had hoped for. Alas, it was still great to see.

The very first thing we see in this episode is a dog. A cute dog at that. Well, too bad for the dog, but it wouldn't be Criminal Minds if something didn't go immediately wrong. Yup, we hear a married man talking about an affair he is having with a woman. Ouch. The woman wants his wife to know about them. Double ouch. They discover a truck pulled over with a man with a phone in his mouth. TRIPLE OUCH. I love how the man said "Stay back, don't come any closer." and the woman's first instinct was to run to the man. Classic. Next, we're taken to the Jareau-La Montagne Jr. household. Henry is so adorable! His hair makes him look like a punk rocker; amazing! And Sandy, JJ's mom, is back! Yay! They're looking through family photos and they come across a picture of Rosaline. Oh no. JJ is now showing emotions towards Ros and her mother. What a beautiful and heartfelt scene. Sandy says, "Avoidance is what this family does best." It looks like I'll be saying "ouch" a ton of times while reviewing this episode.

Next, we are greeted with some Reid facts! Amazing. I love it when the team lets him ramble on without interruption. Kate saying, "I'll bite", reminds me of Blake and how she would always listen to Reid's ramblings. Rossi opens with a very good, and sassy quote. "It's probably just my easy-going nature, but if I stabbed someone a dozen times, I think they'd be out of my system." Incredible. This could be a possible hate crime for being gay? How upsetting that this is still a possible target group for unsubs. Reid and Rossi's scene was hilarious. Another great Rossi quote: "While I appreciate your concern, I appreciate my brain just the way it is." Yes, Rossi, so do we. Rossi picks up the phone from out of the victim's mouth and says, "Well, let's see if this baby holds any surprises." Three quotes in, and Rossi is already the MVP for the episode. The writers keep giving him the funniest one-liners, which is great, but I keep laughing hysterically and missing what's happening next in the episodes. On another note, I really like this detective. It might just be the actress, or the fact that she's a woman in power, but I liked her. Kate's comment about her and unsub having the same type of men made me uncomfortable. And one of the victims has sex tapes? Ugh, do not watch this with your parents. Another Kate quote: "And they say chivalry is dead..." I did enjoy that comment.

Next, we see the unsub sitting on a bench when she drops a flower. "'Scuse me, I think you dropped something.", says a man. And then he gives her the flower. That's very creepy, and that would never work on me. Next, it appears that JJ has figured out something big about this unsub. Shoe shopping can help solve the case! But a note to self: high heels are the enemy. Wow, Kate scene where she interrogates the victim's friend was awesome. Keep this up, and I might actually like her! Morgan informs us that none of the women in the tapes were actually underage! (Kate just said they were to get the friend to tell them what they needed to know.) Amazing! The profile delivery is next. She's a black widow/female annihilator. Interesting. I have very much been waiting for an unsub like this. Next, we get a Reid scene with JJ. He called her Jennifer; oh dear. He asked her if she's okay. She's all right, she just cracked the case! The unsub is taking on the persona of Cinderella. That is definitely a new one. Back to the victim's friend: "One man's crazy is another man's kink." That's quite gross, dude. Anyway, that was a great scene with Reid and JJ. She actually opened up to someone. Although it could've been a bit more in-depth, it was still great. Also, can you imagine if Blake was the one she opened up to instead of Reid? It could have been a role reversal from Blood Relations (9x20), where JJ was the one who asked Blake if she was okay. It would have DEFINITELY made me cry. Not that I didn't enjoy the scene the way it was, though.

Then, we get to see the unsub living out her fantasy with some random guy at the bar. Yeah, that's not creepy at all. They go to his car, and when he kept wanting to kiss her, she rejected him. He then called her a psycho bitch. That is quite accurate, actually. She killed him with her glass slippers. Ugh, that's brutal. Next, the son of the owner of the store that the unsub works at goes to see the unsub. I was really hoping that this guy wouldn't die. He actually wants to confront the unsub in a polite way, and he's kind of cute. The BAU search the bar that the unsub was at. The bartender said, "I hope nothing happened to her. She seems like a really sweet girl." Oh, you've got it all wrong, honey. Now, we're back at the police station, and Kate just had an epiphany - Gregory House style. Cool, she is growing on me. The unsub said, "My favourite fairytale was Cinderella." Well, of course it was! You don't have to be a psychic (profiler) to predict that! Hmmm, there was an indirect reference to Morgan's abuse with this unsub. Yikes. And the unsub's father was a pedophile. That is disgusting. See, it's backstories like these that try to make you feel for the troubled soul that belongs to the unsub. This is something Criminal Minds has always done well at. Hotch calls Reid and asks him to do something for him. The next thing we see is Reid appearing to Clara as a Prince Charming. This scene of him appealing to her psychosis was VERY comical, and VERY strange. I wonder why Hotch asked him to do that, especially when we know he's never getting over Maeve, considering he continues to mention her all of the time.

The last scene of the night is JJ talking to what I think was Will on the phone. Henry and Sandy went to the zoo, and apparently, Henry's favourite zoo animals were the pigeons. That's so cute! JJ is enjoying some wine alone, poor girl, but I'm sure Will has done the same many times before. More Ros mentions, and another good look at Henry's punk-rock hairdo. And he wants JJ to read him Bedtime For Baby Star! Awww, callbacks to There's No Place Like Home (7x7) to tug on the heartstrings. JJ actually has tears in her eyes when she told Henry a cute story about her and Ros. Well, now I have tears in my eyes. Although, she mentions that she and Ros would, "Look up to the sky." Did you forget about Morgan's little backstory about Buford and this very same phrase? I understand the phrase is common, but it was a bit problematic for me. Oh well. This wasn't quite the episode I hoped we would get, but I'm happy with it nonetheless.

What did you think about If The Shoe Fits? Did it live up to your fantasies? Are you excited for Hashtag next week? #Leave a comment down below!