I spent this episode saying "What?", "How?", and "Why?" ever so often to my screen. There were so many WTF moments there, I eventually gave up on the plot - as you would with a silly Hollywood blockbuster movie - and decided to just enjoy the ride. Unfortunately it didn't work, as those pesky thoughts of logic, cause and effect, and character identity kept seeping into my head and messing with my fun.
That is until my eureka moment arrived about ten minutes into the episode, when I realized things would make a lot more sense if I assumed Castiel was either Dean's boyfriend, or Sam's boyfriend, or in a three-way relationship with both of them. Putting that idea into effect made everything fall into place in a loosely stitched, telenovela fashion that strangely kept the plot from sinking. If I didn't know this duo of writers I would've thought this was an Edlundian prank on their part to mess with us worse than The French Mistake. If you don't believe me, read on.
Sam and Dean: Sam and Dean spent the entire episode playing hide and seek and "@#$%^ my bro says!" in the bunker. This was interspersed with Sam injecting Dean with blessed human blood, and calling Cas to run the results by him. For me this was the most enjoyable part of the episode because Demon Dean was delightfully mean and sort of right about many things he said (except that thing about their mother. That was a low blow.) Sam was equal parts bulldog and puppy dog and tried too hard not to let the scattered truths Dean spouted get to him.
Dean Question #1 (for 200 points): What exactly is Demon Dean? They somewhat lampshaded this in the episode when Sam told him he wasn't his brother, and Dean said he was. If it was a regular possession all the torture and stressing would cause the demon to smoke out of the human body. But in this case I'm not exactly sure what Sam was trying to achieve. As far as we know Dean's body is dead, killed by Metatron last season. The demon's awakening brought it back to life but in the absence of black, red, or white smoke, who is throwing those barbs? And how could human Dean still be in there if Dean is dead?
Castiel and Hannah: Meanwhile in b-plot-ville Hannah is using every trick in the book to keep Castiel from getting to Sam and Dean, such as putting his sick ass behind the wheel again, losing their map, and taking all the wrong detours. Once they are good and lost she goes all, "Oops, I'm sorry, don't know how to human yet," then snuggles up to him like a lonely divorcee. Cas' phone, mercifully, rings at that moment, prompting me to chant ‘Sam, Sam, Sam’ as Cas grabs it and says, “Sam,” without looking at the screen. He looks like a man just saved from a swarm of piranhas, and Hannah makes this face:
Anyone else is reminded of love triangular romantic comedies? Those where the mean, popular girl attempts to steal the hot guy from the main character, while the main character, by some act of fate, calls her boyfriend at the right moment to foil her plan. So if Hannah is the boyfriend stealer, what does that make Sam? Castiel's girlfriend?
Close to the end of their journey of 1000 miles Cas and Hannah arrive at a gas station. There, Cas suddenly starts telling Hannah Piranha how important ‘this mission’ is (me: What mission? Saving Dean? Killing dissenting angels?) and how easily distractions can occur. I hear it as, "Cut it out, biatch. I'm onto you. You can’t stop me from going to my boyfriend(s).” Hannah takes it like a trooper and pretends she’s only worried about him losing his grace.
Castiel Question #1 (for 300 points): It’s been asked before, here as well as other places: Why is it implied that if Castiel loses his stolen grace he dies? In fact, why is he even sick, when last season, before he stole grace, and after he lost his own to Metatron, he was just fine?
Bonus Question: Similar to the one about Dean, who and what is Castiel exactly? If his grace is stolen from some other angel, and the body belonged to Jimmy, and he doesn’t have a soul, then what makes him Castiel?
Crowley: Crowley is back to being the king of Hell. He presides over a court of demons who look like they've raided the fallen angels’ closets after they left Heaven and are now sporting their fashion.
This interesting fellow appears.
He tells Crowley that Castiel’s grace is burning out and it’s a good time to off him. (me: Why?) I can’t think of one good reason why Crowley should care about Castiel. But then Crowley becomes pensive, and daydreams a montage of his and Dean’s greatest hits. That’s when I say, 'a-ha' once again, and think it’s probably because the guy knows Cas is Dean’s bf and imagines Crowley would want to get rid of him to eliminate the competition.
They lay the whole Crowley missing Dean idea on pretty thick. Another guy even offers himself as his replacement, to be the king’s new boytoy (his words, not mine,) but Crowley won’t have it. He decides to go after Castiel.
On the Castiel and Hannah front, random angel #62 shows up, transforms into a Generic Revenge Angel (GRA,) then knocks out Hannah and beats up Castiel. Crowley appears and kills her, stealing her grace and healing Castiel with it. Once again I ask why. Is it because Cas has a solution to fix Dean? Even if that's true, why would Crowley care for it when any solution from Castiel most likely involves either curing Dean or killing him, neither of which would bring his demon buddy back into his arms? What does he think Cas could do that he hasn’t already tried with Sam? This one I can’t even explain with the boyfriend hypothesis.
Cas arrives at the bunker at last. The door is apparently sealed with a magic phrase that he could only use since Hannah doesn't enter behind him. He stops Demon Dean just before he and Sam stare each other to death while holding and not using weapons, and he does it by giving Dean a mighty hug from behind. I didn’t know the ability to incapacitate Knights-of-Hell level demons through hugging was part of the angel arsenal. I can’t fathom how Cas did it unless I accept that he is Dean’s bf and hugging him made Dean feel his... love and broke the spell.
Sam and Cas tie Dean to the same chair, inject him with the same blood, but this time it magically works. At this moment I’m fully immersed in my Cas=Dean&|Sam’s bf theory so I rationalize it as Dean seeing Cas reunited with them and coming back. Whether he’s Dean’s boo, or part of a threesome with them, in the end Demon Dean was cured by true vuw, or Team Free Will's power of the heart.
Dean and Cas: In a true Destiel fanfiction move, Sam goes out to get food, or to get drunk, or both. In any case, he makes himself scarce so that Dean and Cas finally get to be alone together and have their first meeting since the season started. They do and it's so awkward it wants to grow legs and scuttle away.
Basically this is what happens (the way I read it):
Cas: You look terrible!
Dean: Gee! Thanks. You look good though. Do you want to stay (…and do stuff with me, on my bed?)
Cas: Um, no…, long story. There’s Crowley, you see (he might murder me if I did,) and my stolen grace (might knock me out under stress,) and a female outside in the car,(my wife, I think, not quite sure about that, though she's the jealous type,) so... another time.
Dean (awkward pause): Ok? No problem. Do you think Sam’s getting a divorce?
Cas: Oh, no. Sam’s a champ. (Why are we talking about your brother after just talking about getting funky on your bed?)
Joking aside, that was an embarrassingly, awfully written scene, following one of the most disappointing conclusions to a cliff hanger arc. Nobody wants the writers to write Dean and Cas making out on a bed. But these two are long-time friends, who have been through battles together. If this is their reunion after one just came back from the brink of death, and the other is close to dying, the writers either don’t believe in that friendship (which then begs many questions about spell-breaking hugs and Dean's impromptu cure,) or don’t know how to write it.
Castiel question #2 (for 100 points): If Heaven and Hell are reasonably back in order – even though nobody knows who's currently running Heaven – then why can’t Castiel stay with Sam and Dean, at least for a while? He advices Dean to rest, yet doesn’t take his own advice. What possible reason could he have for turning his back on Dean and leaving the bunker? (and no, ‘next week is a filler episode’ doesn’t count.)
My overall impression of the episode: Should be obvious from the review. I was confused, and blasé, through most of it. I have long accepted not to take what this writing due produces seriously. I know of their lack of attention to detail, refusal to respect canon, and the callous way they inject their story ideas into the overall mythology of the show.
I am certainly disappointed in the not-even-there solution they presented for Dean’s demon issue, but it was miles better than if they had Sam, or Cas, beat the living snot out of him (or he them) to pull his real self out into the light. So that's a blessing.
Kudos: The scenes I enjoyed most were Sam and Dean’s chit chat and chase in the bunker, even though they were loaded with the typical ‘Dean is gone/not gone,’ and ‘No my brother is still in there somewhere,' overused lines. I still liked Demon Dean and cheered for some of the truths he spoke of, like having to save Sam’s hide all the time, and their dad brainwashing them. I wished they'd let these two explore those issues more extensively instead of sweeping them under the ‘Oh, but that wasn’t the real you’ carpet again.
Another part I liked was the revelation of Sam’s involvement in Lester’s contract. It tied that storyline with Sam’s quest to save Dean beautifully and gave me some nice season 2-3 vibes, you know that time when plots made sense and one didn't have to invent fictitious character romances to explain the story.
Don’t forget to post your comments below. Next week we’re back on the filler dock so it will most likely not be as fun.
Tessa
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