Last Week in TV - Week of March 30 - Episode Awards and Reviews

Either my hectic work week left me grumpier than usual or TV as a whole had an off-week, resulting in several lower grades than usual. There were definitely high points with Grimm starting to get back on track, Trophy Wife toning down the wacky, and Surviving Jack delivering a genuinely funny 20 minutes of TV, something few comedies do these days. Still, a lot of TV kind of sucked, especially things I watched later in the week. Here's hoping for a much better experience this week. As always I will start with the nominated show, so if you have something you think I should try, please nominate it in the form at the end. It only takes a minute to put in the show and episode, which you can leave blank if there isn't a specific episode you think I should watch. So until next week, happy TV viewing!


Overall Awards:

Best Episode - Surviving Jack - 1.02 - Gonna Make You Sweat

Surviving Jack was by far the best comedy of the week for me. Straying away from sex jokes, which filled the pilot, was a great idea. This episode focused on the time honored father-son topic of baseball but added heart by exploring how much effort a relationship is worth whether marital, friend, or boyfriend. No lie, Jack may be the most over the top character on TV right now and he does stuff that no sane person would ever do. However the amount he cares shines through as each episode progresses. In a way he is like Murray from The Goldbergs, but in a complete opposite way. While Murray is more hands-off and lazy, Jack is a control freak with serious boundary issues. They are both stumbling at being dads in the only way they know how and they both exude heart right at the right moment. It's another example of laugh out loud humor with aww moments, a bulls-eye in my comedy zone. It also helped that I laughed more in this episode than in anything else on TV this week. I'm still not sure of where exactly Surviving Jack is going since I didn't care for the pilot and they still need to flesh out Rachel, but if this episode is any indication of what this cast and crew can do, then count me on board. Kudos all around.

Best Return / Best Quote - Grimm - 3.17 - Synchronicity - Mama Grimm

Sometimes a character has such a dynamic presence on a show that even if they are only in a handful of episodes, they are instantly memorable. The mere mention of them can make an episode better. In Grimm, that character is Kelly Burkhardt, aka Mama Grimm. I have been waiting for her return from the second she left last time and all those e-mail/Google mentions of her throughout this season only whetted my appetite to see her actually on screen. A complex character, she can best be summed up in last week's best TV quote - Mama Grimm: "I don't trust anybody I'm not close enough to kill." Ha! Then there's the moment when she forgot she killed Adalind's mother after bringing Adalind and her baby to Nick's place. She has a shoot first, don't bother with questions attitude that admittedly would grate if she were a regular, but in small doses adds humor and always complicates Nick's life. As soon as I learned she was returning I knew things would get messy and she did not disappoint. Taking Adalind, who poisoned Juliette and put her in a coma, to Nick and Juliette's house made for one heck of an intense scene and one of my favorite TV moments of the week. Here's hoping Mama Grimm sticks around for awhile to keep the chaos coming.



Nominated/New Shows:

Nominated Show -

The Mentalist - 6.11 - White Lines

A few summers back, I watched all of season one of The Mentalist because people were raving about it and my OCD was stronger back then. It wouldn't let me quit mid-season. However, I did not continue on to season 2 because I utterly loathed Patrick Jane. He was the Doctor House of crime procedurals. Sadly he is just as big of a douche in this season 6 episode as he was in season 1, maybe more so. For me, The Mentalist is a great concept ruined by a complete prick of a character. I cannot watch a show if I constantly want the main character to die. Painfully. From what I gather in this episode, he also committed cold-blooded murder and through a HUGE plot device, he is now accepted back into the flock and still ordering everybody around because he's the most important person in the universe. Argh! There's enough douches in real life to put up with one on TV. Other than the Jane issue, this episode was interesting. I like that Blonde was el jefe and that she wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty. I do wish she hadn't been so overly confident though. All TV criminals need to learn to shoot first, monologue after. They would have a much higher success rate that way. I also liked seeing Gordon from Supernatural and Joey Potter's dad guest starring and thought the supporting cast was great. If they ever did a Jane-less spin-off, I would definitely check it out.

Grade: D- (but considerably better if you take out Jane)
Ranking: 1

Best Scene - Blonde takes out her rival's bodyguard and keeps on snarking

Best Quote - Fischer: "Maybe you'll learn your lesson." Jane: "What lesson is that?" Fischer: "If you'd actually told us about your plan in advance, we'd have had time to get here." Lisbon: "I've been trying to tell him that for years." Jane: "Oh Cho, you're with me, aren't you?" Cho: "No, I'm with them. You're a terrible communicator. You're just lucky we found the right boat."

Worst Criminals - The cold open gang take off their masks in a building known to have secret cameras. You deserve to be caught. / Old Male Criminal doesn't use gloves when he's shutting the door, etc.

Best Twist (that I totally called during her first scene) - Blonde was the ringleader

Best Plan - Tracking the car's audio footprint

Worst Plan - calling in the police tip yourself, Blonde El Jefe. You are way too overconfident. It'll be your downfall.

Most Inappropriate - Jane makes date plans while standing over 5 dead bodies

Greatest Turn-Off - Lisbon and Fischer tell the guys they are cops and it gets them to leave them alone

Biggest Question - Since when did Cho become everyone's boss? Last I saw he was reporting to Lisbon.

The "Oh Screw You" Award - Jane throws a little baby fit about a couch and gets his way. That's what's wrong with the world today.



New Show -

Friends with Better Lives - 1.01 - Pilot

Friends with Better Lives is way too raunchy for me, since the entire thing revolves around the characters' sex lives, but the characters are interesting if a bit too stock. I do love that Majandra Delfino is back on TV, since she was one of my favorite characters on Roswell and in my opinion the most talented. However, even the return of Maria won't make me watch this show. I wish it all the best but I prefer my comedies with a little more heart and a little less…well, head.

Grade: D
Ranking: 2

Best Scene - Will tells Andi and Bobby that he is jealous of their marriage even if they think they are in a rut

Best Quote - Will: "And Kate, ever the cynic, said that marriage is a b**." Kate: "No, I said you married a b**."

Best Character Interaction - Will and Kate and height puns

Best Reason to Watch - Majandra Delfino, who played Maria on Roswell, and James Van Der Beek, of Dawson's Creek and that other show that got cancelled last year, are in it. It's a WB reunion. Watch so they don't disappear from our TV screens again?

Funniest - It sounds like they are talking about sex, but really Andi and Bobby are talking about a Homeland marathon

Smartest Move - Everyone else leaves when Will brings up Kate's age

Most Relatable - Bobby and Andi, who are stumped when asked about themselves

Way Too Good to be True - Lowell. I'd actually be having a cop friend check him out to see if he was a con artist. I've learned from Neal Caffrey.

The "Oops" Award - Both Bobby and Andi forgot their anniversary

Best Reaction - everyone side eyes Lowell after his Plant a Tree song



Weekly Shows:

Crisis - 1.03 - What was Done to You

Crisis was just as intense this week with the White House Chief of Staff and a car dealership owner as the Ransomees of the Week. However, it lost a bit of its bite for two reasons. One, there was very little about the kids this week, which usually would make me happy. However, in this case how the kids are dealing with the situation is part of what makes the stakes feel more real. The second is more frustrating. Crisis is in danger of falling into The Following/Deception levels of stupidity. If the Feds can never make real strides against an overly genius, infallible villain, a show gets tiresome fast. Crisis has been walking that tightrope fairly well, yet still the FBI know nothing. They arrive a smidgeon too late, the guy miraculously gets away, or the only source of info dies. That will only work for so long and I got hit badly by this tactic last year, so consider me gun shy. The saving grace so far for Crisis is that the villain has had to backtrack and work off the cuff as well, so at least the FBI are making life harder for him instead of those idiots of The Following.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Francis convinces the General to kill himself

Best Quote - President: "Then there's something both of you should know. I took an oath to defend this country. If the kidnappers ask me to betray that oath to save my son's life, I won't do it. I can't. I will have to let my son die. You work for those kidnapped kids. You find them before I have to make that choice."

Best Character Interaction - the kidnapped trio, trying to figure out how active to be in their kidnapping

Most Intense Scene - General Osborne being tortured. It was equally intense with all 3 men and a real contender for best scene. I like how we could see through their facial expressions just how much those to fathers did not want to be there.

Best Distraction - smoke bombs at the vigil to get the White House Chief of Staff clear

Best Power - FBI Director Olsen is able to make all traffic lights red

The "Congrats, You are Finally Not Useless" Award - Luke, the obnoxious, figures out that they are still in America by the outlets used.

Best Instincts - Finley, who figures out that the kidnappers were using the President's hotel room

Best Guest Star - Frederic Lehne as General Osborne. So good to see Azazel from Supernatural on my screen again.

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - Why don't they shoot the General in a non-essential body part instead of letting him kill himself? These two have been declared excellent marksmen numerous time already in this episode alone. Shoot him in the shoulder and he'd have to drop the gun.

Resurrection - 1.04 - Us Against the World

While Resurrection is still drip drop slow when it comes to revealing any real answers, the armed car robbery side plot was interesting and the character interactions remain superb. Well except for everything with Rachel. She's the most annoying resurrectee so far. I did feel incredibly bad for Elaine though, who just wanted to trust her dad but he screwed her over again. She deserves some peace. However it was Caleb who was the most interesting tonight. What did he mean by it was just beginning? Does he know more than the others about what is really happening? Do the others know too and are just better at hiding it? Each of the resurrectees are master manipulators, which makes me suspicious. Speaking of, I am surprised they didn't introduce a new resurrrectee at the end of the episode. They broke pattern. I wonder if this means they will stop popping up so frequently or if they are waiting for the new reveal at the beginning of the next episode.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Elaine breaks down with Maggie

Best Aww Moment - Henry takes care of Lucille when she falls asleep reading. That's the kind of romance scene I want to see, not this adultery junk.

Best Quote - Henry: "From the start you accepted that child as our Jacob. What if he's not the same?"

Best Confirmation - the resurrected are connected to each other beyond just coming back from the dead

Best Character Interaction - Sheriff and Bellamy

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Tom and Rachel's soon-to-be adultery saga

The "Oh Poor Baby" Award - Elaine, who trusts her dad all over again right before he screws her over

The "Oh Boo Hoo You Annoying Wench" Award - Rachel dares to say that she feels like she's being punished when she put everyone who loved her through the ringer. I'm looking forward to you going. Hopefully quickly.

Biggest Surprise - Rachel killed herself

The "Hmm, Not Sure That Will Work" Award - Lucille tells Henry to get Jacob's seizure medicine. Either a doctor prescribed him medicine without knowing he had a condition or that medicine is over 30 years old. Both scenarios lead to a big hmmm.

Hardest News to Break - Hey honey, my dead, suicidal ex-girlfriend is back and she wants to get back together. Yeah, that's not going to go over well.

Most Interesting Directing Choice - combine the armored car robbery of the past and current so they segue together. At first I didn't realize we were back in the present.

Star-Crossed - 1.07 - To Seek a Foe

So I'm just going to pretend that Emery doesn't exist on this show. I'm going to mentally fast forward Roman and Emery scenes in my mind. Then Star-Crossed becomes one of my very favorite midseason shows. The characters and interactions (aside from the aforementioned) have gotten better every episode. The mystery keeps getting bigger. Now if they would only stop cramming dumb plot devices, like Grayson overseeing Emery kissing Roman, in every single freaking episode. It's not worthy of otherwise good plot material. Star-Crossed is too smart to cater to the lowest denominator. I know we're not getting a season 2, so how about we dump the whole "star-crossed" plot and get to the amazing side characters. They are what make the show.

Grade: B- (B+ without Emery and plot devices)

Best Quote - Drake: "Hey Zoe, you know what your problem is? You talk too damn much!"

Best Reason to Watch - Drake

The "You Don't Have Time for This" Award - Seriously folks, the Black Cyper is going to pop at any minute. Roman and Emery, we don't have time for your romance schmoopiness. Time to save the human race and jump start this episode again from your momentum killing drippiness.

Funniest - Taylor and her major overreaction to her scratchy lungs

The "Shut Up, Emery" Countdown - Since I inevitably shout, "Shut Up, Emery" at least once per episode I've decided to make it a weekly feature. This time she made it a whole 17 minutes. I'm not sure but that might be a record.

Best Action - Zoe vs. Roman and then Drake

Most Suspicious - Sorry Gloria, your banner has now been taken by Sneaky Science Teacher

The Audrey Award - Are we sure Black Cyper didn’t appear in the 80's to torment Rick Moranis?

Most Heartwarming - Lukas' mom greets Sofia so sweetly. It is refreshing to see on a series that often highlights human-Atrian hatred.

The "Did We Learn Nothing from the Last Time?" Award - There they go discussing Cyper in public places again. That's what got them into this mess in the first place. Loose lips, people.

The "Oops" Award - Drake gets himself impaled on Zoe's wall when he trips an alarm

Blacklist - 1.18 - Milton Bobbit

I am giving you notice The Blacklist. If you keep digressing instead of giving answers about how Red and Elizabeth are connected, I am going to put you on involuntary hiatus again. Other than that, this episode was pretty good. I like this new Elizabeth, determined to get answers, while the criminal of the week was interesting. Mostly though, the music was spectacular - very well done in the song-to-scene category. The Blacklist always excels at music, but this week was even better than usual.

Grade: B, because we got zero answers on how Red and Liz are connected

Best Scene - Ressler confronts Milton at the cemetery

Best Quote - Craig: "You have no idea who you're dealing with." Elizabeth: "I never did like you."

Best Action - Elizabeth takes down Craig

Most Frustrating - Red gives Elizabeth ZERO answers about Tom and how she is connected to Red

Grossest - Milton Bobbit removes his nose

Biggest Shock - Red and Dembe love the 3 Stooges

The "Hope the Maid is Coming Today" Award - Elizabeth makes a huge mess of the house, breaking dishes and everything. I wonder how she is going to explain that to Tom the Spy

Best Double Talk - Elizabeth's wedding renewal vow speech is actually all about taking her husband down

Best Music - Who are You, Really? By Mikky Ekko. This song has been played in a wide variety of shows from Teen Wolf to Ringer to True Blood but it works exceptionally well here.

Best Toss-Off - Dembe asks about paint colors

Least Popular - No one ever seems glad to see Red, including tonight's expert, Svedka, given that Red slept with his wife.

Growing Up Fisher - 1.06 - Drug / Bust

And the moral of this story is never let the blind guy bring the birthday boy to his surprise party. Or maybe it is that you don't have to experience everything yourself to be able to relate to someone. Well, that should have been the moral. As a teacher I have a hard time with parents and especially a principal using relating better to students as an excuse to try pot. However, this episode did have some fabulous scenes in it. I particularly liked Mel comforting Henry's fears and Joyce taking care of Mel while he was high. Katie and Mel's scenes were pretty good as well. In the end, Joyce was much more toned down and Mel was taken down a notch, which helped both characters tremendously. Plus the police and Mel scene is possibly the most unforgettable scene of the series so far.

Grade: B-

Best Scene - Mel tells Henry he is not going to go blind and then comforts him

Best Quote - Katie: "Hi." Mel: "Are you?"

Funniest Scene - the police refuse to arrest Mel for pot since he's blind

Best Aww Scene - Joyce takes care of Mel while he's high

Best Plan - Speak and Sneak

Most Embarrassing - Henry shows up to his birthday party in only his underwear

Most Inappropriate - Surprisingly it is not Joyce this week. Tonight goes all to Principal Sloan, who says he does marijuana because he needs to know where the students at his school are coming from. Say what? I call for a new principal and perhaps an intervention. I can relate to my students without having to do things illegally.

Best Continuity - Principal Sloane, who was so interested in the new apartment building in the pilot, moves in during this episode.

SHIELD - 1.16 - End of the Beginning

I like SHIELD more than I ever expected to, given that I don't generally care for superheroes or comic books. I also like Joss Whedon, but his predilection for the young ingénue heroine is wearing very thin these days. Skye keeps being lauded by everyone for everything so much so that it is increasingly hard to like her. Garett's non-stop praise shower is the final straw. Skye has in fact become the Mary Sue now. Stop pushing Skye down our throats, Joss. You'll have a better chance of accomplishing your continuous ingénue mission. Pushing a freaking shipper storyline between Ward and Skye is even more irksome. There's enough going on in this world to refrain. Basically, Garett and Triplett are the saving graces of this show. I look forward to a time when they are regular characters, or even a spin-off with them. They are far too awesome of characters to be sidelined in the Skye and Coulson Show. In fact, all of these characters are.

Grade: C+

Best Scene - Coulson confronts May, accusing her of working with the Clairvoyant

Worst Scene - Skye and Ward's cell chat

Best Quote - Triplett: "Sounds more psycho than psychic." / Hand: "Bet the Clairvoyant didn't see that coming."

Best Reason to Watch - Garett snark and Clairvoyant answers…maybe. I'm still not convinced that we haven't been red herring duped.

Best Return - Garett and Triplett. I hope they become regulars next season.

The "Most Dramatic Exit" Award - Mike, who flies out of the roof after getting electrocuted by Garett and Triplett

Best Moment - May and Ward share a look when Coulson mentions the Asgardian mind manipulation from the previous episode

Best Tech - Mike's new shooting arm

Biggest Shock - Ward kills Nash

Least Shocking - Nash is not the Clairvoyant

Goldbergs - 1.19 - The President's Fitness Test

I hated gym in middle school, so the Presidential Fitness Test was the bane of my existence along with most kids I knew. There was always one component that tripped you up. Sadly for Adam, it is the pull up. Even worse, he complains to his mommy, who becomes an obnoxious douche, trying to get Adam out of it. So much so that I detested her throughout the entire episode. It is also killed any enjoyment I might have had in this episode. It didn't help that I thought the French exchange student subplot was juvenile and unfunny as well. The one big saving grace of the episode was Murray. His interactions with Adam were superb and he was the voice of reason throughout. Pops was pretty spectacular as well.

Grade: D

Best Scene - Kyle, the comptroller's assistant sends Beverly to the state assembly office to dump her on the guy who screwed over his sister. Now there's a real politician. He should run for office.

Best Line - Barry: "We'll always have Pop Tarts."

Biggest Aww Moment - Erica relents and make it up to Barry by telling him that Fanny really liked him. Pops corroborates her story.

Worst Parenting Ever - Generally I can take Beverly's usual way over the top behavior, but this just irked me to no end. I have to deal with moddlecollying parents every week who demand that their child get special treatment and consideration for the sheer reason of being them. It's sickening and highly detrimental to the kids they think they are helping. For goodness sakes people, let your kids suffer the consequences of their actions and make them do what is expected. Is your momma really going to give your boss an excuse for why you should be allowed to turn in your project late? Gah! Parents are ruining the kids of today. I didn't see near as much of that in the 80's when you were expected to suck it up and finish up the entire season even if you hated the sport. If you got in trouble at school, you got in trouble at home instead of your parents trying to get the teacher in trouble for not understanding how super special you are and how you cannot possibly be expected to think that the same rules apply to you as everyone else. And yes, in the 80's you were expected to participate in gym, even the Presidential Fitness Test, despite how athletic or non-athletic you were. I guess Beverly was ahead of her time in suckage.

Best Character Interaction - Murray and Adam

Best Nostalgia - Barry is waved in by airport security with a pocket knife. Back in the 80's you could pack a toy bomb in your suitcase and no one cared. I know. My parents did it.

Best Character Addition - Coach Miller, who is so gung ho about preparing his students for a Russian attack

Worst Line Ever - Beverly: "Say no more. Mama will never ever let anything remotely uncomfortable happen to you. I'll just write you a note and get you out of it." Murray: "Absolutely not. Every kid in America has to take that test." Beverly: "Well what does that have to do with my Adam?"

Best Moment - Adam teaches Murray how to swim

The "You've Know You've Seen Too Many Romantic Comedies When…" Award - …you race to an airport to tell the girl of your dreams how you feel and actually expect the power of love to keep you from getting your illegally parked car towed.

Trophy Wife - 1.18 - Couples Therapy

This was Trophy Wife more toned down and back to its former glory. For awhile now, Trophy Wife has been mistaking wackiness for funny, but they aren't necessarily the same thing. In this episode they were more balanced. I adored Diane and Jackie working together and especially the scene at the very end. It's not usual that they are simpatico with each other and I enjoyed the little bonding moment. While I can't recall Pete ever being a huge avoider of conflict before, given that he's espoused a few hard truths in earlier episodes, it does explain his previous marriages a bit more. Mostly though it made for a good character developing episode.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Hillary consoles Warren's broken heart by mentioning the huge age difference between him and Meg

Best Quote - Diane: "Umhh, delicious. What am I tasting?" Pete: "I don't know. You'll have to ask Kate." Diane: "Definitely cumin, molasses, dark chocolate, and lies."

Best Character Interaction - Diane and Jackie

Best Reaction - Meg thinks Kate's stories about suburban life are sleep-inducing

Worst Fashion Plan - Crocs, anywhere.

Most Enterprising - Meg turns Hillary's experiment around and gets exactly what she wants

Most Likely to be Fired - Snarky tennis guy. Sure I loved him but rich old guys are his bread and butter. Insulting them may not be the best game plan.

Worst Hiding Place - on a tennis court with chain link fencing. You're just screwed, Pete and Kate.

Best Wallowing - Warren rocks his broken heart out to Up Where We Belong by Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes

Best Moment - when Diane says, "Busted!" in the ending credits

The 100 - 1.03 - Earth Kills

The 100 continues to offer some of the most powerful character interactions in a midseason show. In this one, the one that really resonated was Bellamy with Charlotte, the psycho kid. It was fascinating to see him soften towards her. I felt like he was trying to be her big brother and protector in a way that Octavia no longer will allow him to be, almost a glimpse into how he might have been with her long ago. By reaching out to help Charlotte conquer her fears, they added additional depth to Bellamy which will be needed as he continues to play the antagonist. It was also interesting to see him react to Clarke mercy killing Atom. I doubt his concessions will last long but I love how he ordered his gang to help Clarke cure Jasper as a way to show his gratitude. All in all, Bellamy is one of the few well-rounded "villains" on TV today. Yes, CW scoffers, it's true. The downside of the episode though is that it killed 2 of the people I actually wanted to see more of. Most of the 100 are scenery fillers and the ones we do know, I tend to not like. Atom's story could have been fascinating because I could see him breaking from Bellamy if the orders were too severe. Sadly, that will never happen. Wells is an even bigger loss because he is often the common sense and heart of the show. To kill him off now is particularly cruel because it would have been nice to have at least a few weeks of Clarke and him being friends again. Mostly this is just role reversal of a hideous plot device in which a favorite character dies to bring emotional hardship to the main character. It's irksome no matter the gender. If Monty goes, I'm rioting.

Grade: B- (because they killed off 2 of the best characters)

Best Scene - Bellamy tells Charlotte to stand up to her fears

Best Quote - Wells: "I knew how you would feel. I wanted to…" Clarke: "To protect me. So you let me hate you." Wells: "What are friends for?"

Biggest Shock - the psycho kid kills Wells

Most Intense - Clarke kills Atom when Bellamy can't do it

The "There's Definitely More to the Story" Award - No way they send a kid to prison for freaking out when her parents are executed. Sounds like retribution on her parents to me.

Brattiest - Clarke, whose hatred of Wells and instance that they continue even when it could kill them, went too far on the laser-focused mission side

MVP - Wells

Best Character Interaction - Bellamy and Charlotte, the psycho kid

The "Screw You" Award - the writers for killing off 2 of the few characters I actually like on this show in one episode

The Musketeers - 1.10 - Musketeers Don't Die Easily (season finale)

I am going to be the sole dissenter of The Musketeers fans, but I truly dislike this episode. Perhaps it's that I come into a season finale with high expectations. Perhaps it's the absolute horror that is the Constance and D'Artagnan plot line. I can't stand either of them now. Great plan, writers! Or maybe it's the equally horrific and yet perfectly expected daytime soap opera of the Queen having Aramis' baby. Argh! Did Maury Povitch exist in France back then? Or perhaps my dislike stems from the golden opportunity they had to explore the Musketeer saga without Cardinal Richelieu and truly make it their own, which they shot all to hell. Perhaps it was the fact that all the formerly smart villains turned into morons. This is the only episode of The Musketeers I actively wanted to end. In fact I resent everything about the last 15 minutes! Sadly, I can sum it all up like Aramis and company. So at the end of it all, what do I have? No characters I adore. No plot line that excites me. No cliffhanger to assure I tune in next season. None of the things that make TV bearable. I do have fight scenes and I might be able to live with that. For fight scenes then! Still a whole lot of character and plot reworking would be nice.

Grade: D

Best Quote - Aramis: "So at the end of it all, what do we have? No glory." Porthos: "No money." D'Artagnan: "No love." Aramis: "None of the things that make life bearable." Athos: "We have honor." Aramis: "I can live with that." D'Artagnan: "For honor then." Porthos: "Still a little money would be nice."

Best Reason to Watch / Best Character Interaction - Milday and Sarazin

The "You Suck" Award - D'Artagnan and Constance and the writers for going here. Add Monsieur Bonacieux and his emotional blackmail for good measure. Throw in Aramis and the Queen as well. Urgh! You people suck!

Best Moment - Sarazin makes everyone bow to Milady

The "Say What?" Award - Since when are D'Artagnan and Athos best friends. I would say he's closer to Aramis than Athos, who is more of a mentor.

Best Addition - Sarazin, who delights in Milady's cold-blooded murder of his employee, wins. Still Celine the boozy floozy gets an honorable mention without much dialogue at all. Impressive!

Funniest - Aramis and Porthos keep interrupting Athos' funeral

Most Well-Played/ Most Out of Character - Aramis and Porthos keep passing the blank letter back and forth to get the Cardinal talking….and the Cardinal falls for it. When did he become brainless?

Best Return to Power - The Queen owned the Cardinal for a good 10 seconds before he got even more powerful dirt on her. And so the status quo remains.

The "Even I Can't Suspend Belief This Much" Award - The Musketeers run the gauntlet of the alley without a scratch but Sarazin's entire criminal enterprise is defeated. Whatever.

Surviving Jack - 1.02 - Gonna Make You Sweat

Grade: A-

Best Scene - Jack tells Frankie some people are worth making an effort to keep in your life

Best Quote - Mikey: "I know where you're going with this and yes, I will take steroids." Jack: "I don't think someone who looks like you can afford a case of back-ne. Permission to cross the line." Mikey: "I'm pretty sure you just did but okay."

Best Character Interaction - Jack and Frankie

The "You Have to be Kidding" Moment - Just as Frankie is about to catch a pop-up, Jack shoots a sawed off. I'm not sure who was more startled, Frankie or me. Bwah, once my heart started again.

Most Creative - the teen boys create well-made jousting sticks, American Gladiator style

Best Entrance - Jack stands with a baseball bat at the foot of Frankie's bed, scaring the life from him

Biggest Understatement - Frankie: "Perhaps this was a bad idea."

The "Oh No, You Didn't" Award - Jack fakes a heart attack to see how Frankie does under pressure. That is so far beyond warped. Frankie should have kicked him in the kneecaps. You're going to regret it when you really are having a heart attack and he heads outside with his friends.

Best Reaction - Joanne tells Jack that she thinks it's over between Rachel and Doug, which causes Jack to go in for a celebratory hug like they just won a battle.

Most Diabolical - Jack for putting rubber snakes all over the house to rattle people




TBBT - 7.09 - The Indecision Amalgamation

It's hard to sell a comedy on the premise that none of the main characters can make a decision. Let's face it, waffling is hardly entertaining. Therefore they had big obstacles to overcome. The best addition was Emily because she brought some sweetness to an otherwise laugh track-distracting episode. I hope she continues. I'm also a Wil Wheaton fan, since Stand by Me by the way, so whenever he guests my regard for the episode tends to go up. I thought Sheldon's wavering between two gaming systems was ridiculous, but in all fairness that's because I don't care about gaming one iota. I understood his blathering about as much as Amy did so those segments tended to drag on for me, killing the plot momentum. It was nice to see Raj winning for once though.

Grade: C+

Best Scene / Best Aww Moment - Raj's date with Emily

Best Quote - Raj: "Fate has given me a rare second chance, and I swear to Vishnu I'm not going to blow it. Or normal words followed by a charming smile."

Best Character Interaction - Raj and Emily

Best Reason to Watch - Wil Wheaton

The "Say Huh?" Award - Do people really put this much thought in the gaming system they buy? Color me surprised. I haven't been fond of a videogame since Pong.

Best Reaction - Amy cares as much about Sheldon's dilemma as I do. Her over enthusiasm makes me laugh. When you have no clue what they are talking about it is best to repeat with enthusiasm or smile and nod.

Biggest Shock - Raj has some game with his astrology for lovers story

Best Moment - Wil Wheaton is in the same terrible movie as Penny

The Nostalgia Award - I had a Zune too, Sheldon. I read all the reviews and then regretted it.

Crazy Ones - 1.19 - Danny Chase Hates Brad Paisley

I loved the guest stars and there were a couple of great moments between Simon and Zach, but for the most part this episode felt a little blah. There weren't a lot of big laughs and the assistant felt rushed into the episode. I liked her but the story was pushed into the corners of the episode, which isn't normally how new characters are introduced. Mostly this was all about the guest stars, but maybe to the detriment of the plot.

Grade: C+

Best Scene - Paisley vs. Chase

Funniest - Lauren and Sydney explain to Andrew all the different ways to be unavailable after a date

Best Quote - Zach: "Let me drive you to the hospital." Simon: "No, you care too much about the safety of pedestrians. Andrew?" Andrew: "On it."

Best Character Interaction - Simon and Zach

Best Twist - Brad cut Danny for a reality show and that's why he's so upset

Scariest - Sorry Zach but Simon's angry face has nothing on Josh Groban saying, "hizzouse".

Best Guest Star - Brad Paisley. Sorry Groban, but Paisley has an entire snark lineup

Best Continuity - Sydney has a restraining order out on Danny Chase

Elementary - 2.19 - The Many Mouths of Aaron Colville

The best part of this episode was of course the interaction between Sherlock and Watson, but the emotional baggage Watson sorted through was a drain on the story. In a word, it was boring. I found the case to be far more exciting than the characters which is unusual for Elementary.

Grade: C

Best Scene - Sherlock tells Watson that targeting the doctor will not solve her problem. She needs to forgive herself.

Best Quote - Detective Loughlin: "Anyway I figured if my guy did this, maybe the NYPD only needs one vampire hunter." / Sherlock: "He did it with no official record so that his valued assistant would not have to wait for treatment. I'd do the same for you if you lost all your teeth in a prison fight."

Best Reference - Mrs. Hudson / the year's never-ending winter

The "Say What?" Award - I work with transparencies and there is no way what that guy handed Sherlock is 27,000 transparencies. It would be too thick for one person to carry one-handed.

Most Unique Way to Catch a Criminal - Sherlock holds a sign saying, "Help me catch a murderer by punching me in the arm."

Best Twist - several people have the same dentures so the bite print is less than conclusive

Biggest Question - I think I missed something. Wouldn't it have to be Aaron Colville who committed the original murders if they made the prints of his teeth after he was locked up for that crime? Why would they have ever thought he was innocent?

Best Continuity - Sherlock keeps waking Watson up and picking out her clothes. I wonder why she hasn't killed him yet.

Best Alibi - Couldn't have killed anyone because you 've been following the Grateful Dead tour

The "No Fair" Award - You can't tease us with a cross-dressing Johnny Lee Miller wearing a prom dress and singing Frozen songs and then not show it. I call foul.

Community - 5.11 - G. I. Jeff

When Community goes way out there, it is usually either a big success or a complete failure. There is rarely middle ground, but that's where this episode sits. As someone who watched GI Joe commercials, that was the funniest part. However, having Fourth Wall keep up a running commentary on kid cartoon snark was excellent too. The only problem was that some places dragged and the episode was more whimsical than outright funny.

Grade: B

Best Scene - The Cobra employees want hazard pay, more than minimum wage, and better benefits. Even terrorists need insurance I guess.

Best Awww Moment - everyone brings it in for a hug

Funniest - All the GI Joe commercials

Best Quote - Fourth Wall: "My fourth wall penetrating powers combined with this medium's lack of internal logic should allow me to come up with an oversimplified solution." Ha! There is a lot of TV without any internal logic these days.

Best Twist - Jeff was upset about his birthday and that's why he created this reality. Aww Jeff, 40 is nothing.

MVP - Fourth Wall for all the snark and meta

Best Title Card - Community: A Show Set in a Community College / Endorsed by the Federal Council of Safest Children Ever

Best GI Joe Name - Placeholder

Wonderland - 1.13 - And They Lived…

Wonderland doesn't mess around with its "happily ever after." Except Jafar, everyone gets one and even he gets to off Daddy Dearest so win for him. Ana is resurrected, despite the ban on magical cures, because the water witch decides it wasn't her time to die. In a truly bizarre twist, half of Wonderland comes to London to watch Alice marry Cyrus without anyone from London even batting an eye at the fact that she's married by a talking rabbit. Um, okay. I guess I am used to genre shows with decidedly non-happy endings, but the power of love is strong in this one. So is the ability to tie up almost every hanging plot thread in 42 minutes or less. What didn't work though was the weird pacing. They rushed through resolving the Jafar crisis but threw in weird slo-mo segments like Alice being captured and the wedding at the end. The first 30 minutes felt incredibly rushed while the last 12 dragged on.

Grade: C+

Best Plot Twist - neither Alice nor Cyrus take out Jafar

Best Quote - White Rabbit: "Seriously, who needs a photo album when you've got this. Look kids, here is where Alice almost died. And oooh look, this is where Cyrus' spleen fell out."

Best Reason to Watch - everything gets resolved with little plot left hanging

The "Screw You" Award - No matter how sympathetic they try to make you, Sultan, I'm not buying it. You were the original problem. You and Cyrus. A child does NOT have to earn a parent's love! Screw you, Sultan Douche. I'm good with Jafar murdering you.

Best Addition - Magic carpet

MVP - White Rabbit, who made everything more fun

Biggest Sucker Punch - Jafar brings Ana back and makes her fall in love with him just to hurt Will

Strangest Time for Slo-Mo - Alice comes into Jafar's presence

The "They Totally Needed to Rock The Glory of Love" Award - When Will breaks through Jafar's boundary by the sheer power of love and kisses Ana to break the spell

Grimm - 3.17 - Synchronicity

I have been waiting for the return of Mama Grimm since the moment she left last time. Things are always more interesting when she's around. Of course, I didn't predict how interesting given she expected Nick to protect Adalind. What a mess! I really enjoyed the Meisner scenes in this episode too and I am sad that we may not see him anytime soon. He's been a joy. I also loved the snappy dialogue. What didn't work though was ALL the exposition to remind people what happened in the first two seasons. For someone who has seen all of Grimm, it halted the forward movement in several places. I hope Mama Grimm sticks around for awhile because it is a waste of her awesomeness to stick her in the middle of one exposition scene after another. I did like how they gave us a flashback of the night Aunt Marie took Nick away for safety though. It was a bittersweet mother-son moment and the only flashback that worked for me. Probably because all the rest were recapitations. Overall though, this episode marked what I hope will be Grimm returning to its former goodness.

Grade: B-

Best Action - Meisner vs. the Verrat

Biggest Aww Moment - Young Mama Grimm says goodbye to Nick as he leaves with Marie

Best Reason to Fast Forward - ALL recapitations, anything Viktor, and Nick and Juliette engagement issues

Most Humorous - It sounds like Hank and Nick are talking about a case but really they are discussing whether Nick should go to Monroe and Rosalee's wedding

Best Character Transformation - Motherhood has made Adalind actually tolerable. Awesome!

The Schmuck Award - Renard got Castle Spy killed and he doesn't even have a word to say about his death. Douche!

The Pipedream Award - Mama Grimm says Adalind's baby has to have a normal childhood. How exactly is a Demon Baby with supernatural powers going to be normal?

Most Hideous TV Wedding Dress - I have no idea who thought this dress was flattering, but everything about it on Rosalee is terrible. She looks like she should be acting in a Victorian vaudeville show.

Best Assumption - Monroe and Rosalee assume there's a dead body when Nick shows up. It's a fair assumption.

Best Suddenly Canon Mythology - Wesen know Nick's a Grimm when they woge because of his eyes

The "Well Duh" Award - Juliette worries about what will happen if Nick's glasses fall off. Is closing his eyes suddenly not an option? How about avoiding everyone's gaze until he can put them back on? Commonsense does not run deep here.

Most Eye-Rolling - They replay a conversation we heard not 8 minutes earlier to lead us into a flashback. Do they think their dialogue is that forgettable that we wouldn't remember something we just heard?






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About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for Sleepy Hollow, Arrow, White Collar, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts the Warehouse 13, Sleepy Hollow "Headless," and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."