Scandal- Episode 3.11- Ride, Sally, Ride- Review

Scandal returned last night after a two month long hiatus and boy was it one hell of a ride (pun intended). We're immediately thrown into the aftermath of the events of the last episode.

Melly is running through the halls of the White House like someone lit a fire under her ass and frantically announces to Cyrus and room full of people that Sally has decided to run against Fitz. Guess Sally forgot that she murdered her husband and had Cyrus cover it up for her. Cyrus and Melly frantically look around for Fitz so they can break the bad news, but he's nowhere to be found. Turns out he's with his new campaign manager and from the staffer's hesitation to say who, we can only assume it's Olivia.

And yep, Melly walks into the Oval Office to find Fitz and Liv making out like teenagers under the bleachers.

Poor Melly. You think they'd have the sense not do that in such a vulnerable place but apparently they do not care.

Meanwhile, Sally announces that she's going to run as an independent but is not going to resign as Vice President. Fitz is pissed as hell and throws his empty glass at Cyrus' head and Liv walks in. "Do Something!" Melly says "He listens to you," Cyrus quips.

Liv tries to calm Fitz down and tells him that they've already started picking possible running mates for him but he cuts her off. He's already made his decision and picks his former Lt. Governor as his running mate. Liv says he needs to go with someone less male or possibly less straight for the sake of diversity but he's not having it. Fitz is set in his moody ways and dismisses her even though he was just making out with her a few minutes ago. Ok dude.

David tries to convince James to help him bring down Cyrus and plays the recording of Sally begging Cy for help. But the phone call isn't admissible in court and David begs James to entrap Cyrus and incriminate himself. James says he doesn't care and he isn't going to help David. Once again, David is left hanging and we assume that he's going drop pressing charges for now. Wouldn't that be a hell of a story though? The U.S. Attorney prosecuting the President's Chief of Staff and the Vice President? Although Cyrus would be sent up the river, it would make things A LOT easier for Fitz to win a second term.

Meanwhile at Pope & Associates, the team is trying to dig up dirt on Andrew Nichols (Fitz's pick for VP) . They don't find much except for the steady stream of women he likes to keep company with. Liv still isn't convinced and tries to get Cyrus to help change Fitz's mind. But Cyrus has other things on his mind and also lets it slip that Jake is in charge of B6-13 now.

Liv goes to find her dad and tries to apologize for what happened with her mom and about him losing his job. But he doesn't even care.. Rowan goes on another one of his should-be trademarked tirades and tells her that everyone should be really afraid of him. Turns out that he's understandably super pissed at Fitz and will do anything in his power to bring him down. "And the greatest weapon I can use against him calls me dad" Liv has the good sense to look terrified.

He basically admits that he is going to assassinate Fitz and tells her "Start grieving now, Olivia. But first…run"

Someone anonymously texts a journalist asking why Daniel Douglas's autopsy was never released. As someone who just binged watch 26 episodes of House of Cards, I'm getting Zoey Barns/Frank Underwood vibes from this situation. The anonymous texter refuses to identify themselves by anything but Publius.

Fun fact: Publius (aka Servilius Casca) was one of the men that assassinated Julius Caesar. (THX WIKIPEDIA!!!!)


Abby and Bergen are on a debate show and he uses it as a platform revive the rumors that Liv and the President are sleeping together. "You want to talk reckless? How about hiring your alleged mistress as your campaign manager?" he says and Abby is obviously flustered. She tries to play off the question as a tired rumor but the press eats it up like hot cakes. And just like that, Liv is back in the hot seat.

She turns to Cyrus to try to take some of the pressure off of her by digging up dirt on DD's death. Cyrus says he's got nothing but Liv figures out there might be a story behind the quick funeral when she notices a journalist ask James about DD's autopsy.

Sally also notices the journalist's question about her husband's speedy autopsy and begins to freak out. She assumes that everything is coming to light because God is punishing her for changing her stance on abortion. Not for…oh you know…killing her husband. Bergen looks at her like:

But Sally isn't having it. "I did not murder my husband" she says. "The devil murdered my husband when he snuck inside me" Yea, the exact kind of person you DON'T want to be President. She can't even take credit for her own crimes. Ladies and Gentlemen…Sally "The Devil Made Me Do It" Langston.

Quinn is still trying to get into B6-13 and is cool with doing "freelance" work with Charlie. So she kidnaps a kid, but we're not sure why. But one can assume it has to do with quieting someone who knows about DD's real cause of death. And the kid falls for it. Apparently his parents did not teach him about stranger danger.

And sorry, the more Quinn falls into this "lifestyle" the less I feel bad for her.

James tries to get information from Cyrus about DD's cause of death and tries to convince Cyrus to tell him what happened. Cyrus isn't biting though. Maybe he's too busy mulling over the fact he just had Charlie kidnap a kid and use said kid as leverage. Sometimes you have to wonder, how the hell he comes up with these diabolical plans.

Abby & Huck go to talk to the ME that did the autopsy on DD. She tells them that she destroyed the records. Abby tries to blackmail her with some dirt from the ME's past. So the ME them that DD was drunk when he died. He fell, smashed his head on the toilet and that was the end of Double D. Of course, we see Charlie and Quinn holding the kid they took from school hostage in a hidden corner of the house. So it turns out the kid that was promised ice cream for cooperation (I hope they at least got him some of the good shit) was the ME's son. She feeds Abby/Huck a false story and her and her son live to see another day.


Cyrus tells Melly to make sure the press doesn't buy into the rumors that Fitz and Liv are sleeping together. "It's not my fault he makes googly eyes at Olivia every time they're in public together." Yes it is,:  Cyrus says "Now fix it"And boy does Melly have a way of fixing things. She invites Liv to a very public girls luncheon filled with reporters and cameras. After throwing plenty of shade about Liv's relationship with Fitz, Melly gives Liv a list of eligible bachelors. "Pick one," Melly says. "Pick one so people will stop thinking you're screwing my husband."

Whelp…

The journalist gets more texts from Publius again. Seems like we might have a Zoey Barnes 2.0 on our hands.

Back at Pope & Assoc. Abby walks in on Harrison stealing her gun. He's being threatened by Adnan and is visibly scared. I can't help but wonder who the hell is this Adnan person and what the hell did Harrison do to piss them off?

Liv is meeting with Andrew trying to figure out his end game and she finally gets him to admit that he's married to his job because the woman he wanted got away. "I had my chance and I lost it. I let her go and I married my job instead" Who is the mystery woman he's referring to??!?!

Liv goes to the Oval to see Fitz and commands him to leave the door open but he wants it closed; probably for make out time. They go back and forth with Fitz's secretary looking on like #FML. Poor Lauren. Her job must be so tough.

They argue over his choice of VP and Liv says: "My gut tells me he's wrong". She's been pretty damn wrong A LOT lately so it's kind of hard to take her seriously. She also says that working at the White House is bad for business and she Liv tries to resign and walk away from Fitz for the 10082229834th time and of course it doesn't work.He closes the door and silences her with a kiss. "You can't leave me. I'm not losing you again" Co-dependency at it's finest folks.

Fitz's impromptu make out session doesn't appease Liv though and she uses this time to ask why he Jake the head of B6-13. Fitz's reasoning is actually pretty legit but he seems to forget that he super pissed off his biggest enemy of all time, Rowan. Cue more yelling and steamy glares at each other. Dammit their chemistry seeps through screen, it is so out of control. I can't even remember what they were fighting about.

Harrison is waiting a dark office and we see a woman walk in. He points the gun at her and says "I will shoot you…Adnan" So Adnan is a girl! And they apparently used to sleep together..well correction they are STILL sleeping together. That must be interesting though being attracted and simultaneously terrified of the person you're sleeping with.

Cyrus walks into his office to find Bergen comfy as hell. Cyrus threatens him very nicely and they discuss the leak about DD's cause of death. "Divided we fall on this one, Cy" The camera pans and we see that James planted a bug in a photo frame in Cyrus' office and he's playing the recording back to David Rosen.

"My husband's a monster, David. And he think he doesn't have a weakness. But he does. Me."

WELL DAMN. So I'm thinking ABC should just call this show Scandaltrayalvenge because there is a hell of lot of all three going on!

"And I will do whatever it takes to take that monster down. I guess James isn't as much as a pushover as I previously thought. We also find out that James is Publius and David says he's pretty much as good as dead. And we've all seen that Cyrus has no qualms about trying to have his husband killed. So James...

Jake shows up at Liv's house looking like a bag of freshly pressed money. She isn't happy to see him though and sarcastically asks him about his new job. He gives the same old song and dance about serving Fitz no matter what and Liv goes off.

"I serve at the pleasure of the President of the United States" he says. "Don't we all" Liv snaps back while simultaneously drinking wine. She's obviously upset about the turn of events in her life. "You're so busy being patriot. You forget to be a person" she says and "Vermont keeps getting further and further away" Awww, girl just wants to be with her boo.

However, being the clever planner that she is, she uses her natural chemistry with Jake and turns him into her political beard. They have an outing together as a couple and the press seems to fall for it but I'm not sure if it's going to be fake for long. They have history and hella chemistry together. Fitz is obviously upset with Liv's choice of political beard.

Meanwhile, Bergen is meeting with Rowan and we can only guess that he's about to cause a ruckus.

Finally, at a rally, Fitz announces Andrew as his new running mate and we see flashback to a few minutes before Fitz takes the stage. Andrew looks over and Melly and comes beside her and whispers. "Every day for the last 12 years I have dreamed of this" Blissfully ignorant, Melly thinks he's talking about running for VP. "Being near you again" he replies.

So MELLY the woman that Andrew was talking about. She's the one that got away!! Looks like Liv's gut is finally acting right again. It's pretty clear that things are going to go south from here but I can't help but feel glad that Melly is finally about to get some much needed TLC.

NEXT WEEK ON SCANDALTRAYALVENGE:

-Liv telling someone "My father is out for blood". Liv, father should be out for some Xanax because bro is always on Level 1010010101

-David is getting kidnapped?!! But by whom?

- Fitz screaming "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" It looks like he was in Cyrus' office so I'm assuming he found out about Cyrus covering up DD's murder.

-And Liv telling Melly she needs to end whatever's happening with Andew. Oh gurl you've got some damn nerve.

I can't wait to see what happens next. What did you guys think of Scandal's triumphant return to our TV screens and twitter feeds? Sound off in the comments below!