American Horror Story - 3.01 - Bitchcraft - Review

The premiere episode of American Horror Story's third installment is aptly titled, 'Bitchcraft.' Ryan Murphy, as usual, takes us on a bizarre yet intriguing ride in the first episode of the 'Coven' series. Not for the faint of heart, Ryan gives us a horrifying look into the witches of New Orleans, past and present. I had read the back story on these characters, but nothing can prepare you for when Ryan's vision actually comes to life on your tv screen.


The opening sequence depicts Madamne Delphine LaLaurie at a dinner party, introducing her daughters. Taking place in New Orleans in 1834 we then see LaLaurie painting blood upon her entire face. She is interrupted by the news that one of her daughters has been found sleeping with one of their slaves. LaLaurie goes to her daughter and begins to scream at her and beat her. She tells her daughter that they're going to say that the slave forced himself upon her, instead of what actually happened. She orders to keep the slave quiet, and he is quickly struck over the head. LaLaurie then orders he be taken to the attic.

We then see LaLaurie going to check on her "pets." Slaves chained and locked up in small cells, clearly being tortured in unimaginable ways. We see slaves with their eyes and mouths sewn shut. She tells them to be quiet or she'll rip their lips open and stuff more shit in there. She makes her way down past cell after cell of deformed slaves. One asks why she is doing this to them, to which she replies, "Because I can." She makes her way to the end where the man who slept with her daughter has been chained up. She tells him that if he's going to grunt like a beast, they're going to treat him like one. A small slave child comes their way, carrying a bulls head. A step stool is placed in front of the older slave and the child is told to puts the head on the man. The older slave struggles and tries to cry out and avoid it, but the child obeys and places the head over the mans own head. LaLaurie talks of how her father used to read to her the stories from Greek mythology and that the minotaur was always her favorite creature and that now she has one of her very own.

In present day, we see Zoe leading her boyfriend into her house. They kiss as they make their way to her bedroom. They begin to undress and move onto the bed and he laments that it sucks being soemones first because he doesn't want to hurt her. She tells him she'll be alright and things continue to heat up. They being to make love and after a moment he asks if she's ok. She nods yes and then suddenly, he's bleeding from his nose. He falls back and we see him start to convulse and bleed from his eyes and ears as well. She starts screaming his name as he seizes underneath her.


We next see Zoe on a train, dressed in all black. She says that the official cause of Charlie's death was a brain anyuerism. We cut to a scene of Zoe's mother telling Zoe that it wasn't her fault, but her own. She begins to inform Zoe that she has the same "genetic affliction" that her grandmother had. She tells Zoe that she should have told her sooner but was praying it would skip her generation. Zoe is a witch with a very special power. Zoe's mother informs her of a school in New Orleans for girls like her. She tells Zoe that they cannot keep her any longer because it is too dangerous. Suddenly, three men burst in and drag Zoe out of bed and take her away. As Zoe is being taken away, her mother asks Myrtle Snow why she can't just drive her to the station herself. Myrtle advises that it would only make things worse.

Zoe then arrives at Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies. Myrtle rings the bell at the gate, and the gates slowly creak open. Zoe looks over only to see Myrtle, her guard and the car all gone. Zoe walks through the gates and up the walk way, taking in the house. She walks in and it's eerily silent. She calls hello and the door closes on its own behind her. She begins to see cloaked and masked people scurrying about the house. She starts to run, but runs right into one of the masked individuals and screams. The three take Zoe and slam her down on a table. One raises a large knife and chants about offering her up but to the Dark Father but then the three retreat. They take off their masks and tell Zoe to relax and that they were only playing a joke on her. Zoe then realizes its movie star Madison Montgomery. The other girls introdue themselves as Nan and Queenie.

Cordelia Foxx, headmistress, then walks in and tells the girls to unload the groceries and she'll show Zoe her room. Cordelia begins to tell Zoe the history of Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies. It was established as the premiere finishing school for girls in 1790. During the Civil War it was converted to a military hospital. Then in 1868 Marian Wharton, the reigning surpreme of the time & author, bought the facility and kept the name as a cover to turn it into a safe haven for young witches to learn about and cultivate their skills. One time housing over 60 witches, Robichauxs numbers have decreased, as many families who carry the bloodline chose not to reproduce. Zoe asks the headmistress what a 'supreme' is. Cordelia informs her that while the average witch is born with a few natural gifts, but in each generation there is one who embodies countless, maybe all of the gifts, and that witch is the supreme.

Cordelia continues on stating that most families today know nothing of their ancestry or were unaware of the academy or that they weren't identified early enough for them to be found. She tells the story of a young Cajun witch named Misty Day. Misty had the gift of resurgance, able to draw a soul back from the brink of death and back to life, also known as ressurection or necromancy. Cordelia describes that what hapens to most witches, did happen to Misty. She was captured and burned alive.

We're then shown a woman entering a large building. A scientist, David, is showing a test subject, a monkey named Allegra. Allegra suffered from brachicardia and kidney failure and was on the brink of death. She was then injected with serum RM-47. Today Allegra is almost brand new. The woman, Fiona, says that she'll have what Allegra had. The scientist tells her she will, but while the research is going well, human trials are still about 2 years off. She states that she would like the serum as soon as possible, within the next half hour as she has plans for dinner. He tells her that in an imposibility. She reminds him that his research has been entirely funded by her late husbands money. He offers to refer her to a cosmetic surgeon, but she tells him she needs an infusion of vitality and demands the drug now. He her tells that even if he wanted to give it to her, he cannot and that what they do at the facility is not magic, and he's sorry. Next we see Fiona, she's dancing around and snorting cocaine alone in a large room. She then hears the news speaking of the missing young girl Misty and that it is believed that the authorities have figured out her last known location. They say it's rumored that she was burned at the stake but no statements have been released.

There's a knock at the door, and she opens it to see David. She starts ranting that he's been giving her injections for five days and she's not seen any improvement. She accuses him of shooting her up with placebos and demands he double the dosage. He refuses and tells her that he'll give his resignation in the morning. She becomes enraged and the doors all begin to close on their own. The lights all snap off automatically. She lights a cigarette and chases him around the room for a moment but with the wave of her hand she sends him flying across the room. He slams to the floor but picks himself up and sits back against the wall. She approaches and then straddles him. She begins to passionately kiss him and after a moment they're on their feet. She runs her fingers through his hair and then grabs onto it. Before our very eyes, David's skin begins to wrinkle, his hair whitens. Fiona continues until he's just a drawn shell of his former being and drops him back down on the floor, dead. She lights another cigarette and looks at herself in the mirror for a few moments and then smashes it with her fist.
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