Let's face it. The cops tend to get in the Winchester brothers' way more than help them, but they have delivered some awesome lines. From recurring characters like Sheriff Mills and Agent Henriksen to one-off unnamed sheriffs like the one in Bloodlust, law enforcement has not only give the hunters important information, they have made us laugh too. Below is my picks for best law enforcement officers and best quotes. Because it got so long, I've actually divided this post in two but they should both be posted on the same day. Sound off in the comments below with your favorites and don't forget to keep nominating your favorite quotes in our nomination forms for the big quotes contest which will get started next week. All nominations are due by Friday, so I can get everything put together and ready to go.
Top Law Enforcement (Minor characters):
10. Sheriff - Pilot9. Detective - Defending Your Life
8. Sheriff - Monster Movie
7. Eddie - The Slice Girls
6. Police Chief - The Mentalists
5. Jack - Remember the Titans
4. Ranger Rick - How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters
3. Detective Glass - Hunteri Heroici
2. Sheriff - Bloodlust
1. Sheriff - LARP and the Real Girl
Top Law Enforcement (Minor character quotes):
Captain - "What? There a fed convention in town or something?" (And Then There Were None)Sheriff - "It Casual Friday agents?" (Mommy Dearest)
Cop - "Yeah no explaining a psycho." (The Girl Next Door)
Ankeny Sheriff - "Borax? Decapitation? What kind of sickos are you and your friends?" (Slash Fiction)
Ankeny Sheriff - "Whatever I can do…especially if it involves lying about everything I just saw." (Slash Fiction)
LeviaCop - "What is your problem? We don't have time for lunch right now." (Slash Fiction)
Chief - "Oh I've got leads coming out of my a**. As of 9 o'clock our tip line had 46 calls, all from clairvoyants that know what really happened." (The Mentalists)
Chief - "It was either this or Los Angeles." (The Mentalists)
Ranger Rick - "I should probably report that." (How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters)
1944 Cop - "We're all stuck in 1944, ya bunny." (Time After Time)
Deputy - "First a Texas Ranger, now you guys?" (Southern Comfort)
Detective Glass - "Coroner said his heart was ejected from his body. Got some air too…found it in the sandbox." (Hunteri Heroici)
Detective Glass - "Never seen an 8-ball do that." (Hunteri Heroici)
Sheriff - "Like…uh, 'You shall bleed for your crimes against us,' followed by the emoticon of a skull, and…uh, this beauty…'I am a mage. I will destroy you." (LARP and the Real Girl)
Sheriff - "God forbid he was contagious. I'm gonna go dip myself in hand sanitizer." (LARP and the Real Girl)
Sheriff - "All the Cassitys under one roof? Good luck." (Trial and Error)
Jack - "That's grizzly country. You couldn't pay me enough to hike those woods, not without a bazooka." (Remember the Titans)
Jack - "Boys…aim for the head." (Remember the Titans)
19. Minnesota Detective - "I mean sure he can run a little bit but Thor he ain't. You think he's gonna grab Freddy Fitness here and throw him down and rip out his heart? I don't think so. Forgive me if I didn't take him out back and shoot him." (Heartache)
18. 1944 Cop - "This badge was issued 68 years from now. Ace work, krautmuncher." (Time After Time)
17. Sheriff - "It wasn't a ghost unless ghosts leave footprints.) (Frontierland)
16. Detective Glass - "Whatever you say Scully." (Hunteri Heroici)
15. Sheriff - "I'm just trying to understand exactly what kind of hate crime this even was." (Clap Your Hands if You Believe)
14. Chief - "It's a tossup between a ghost and some sort of ogre that only attacks Russians." (The Mentalists)
13. Jack - "Since when have the Feds started tracking zombie activity?" (Remember the Titans)
12. Sheriff - "Uh, neighbor downstairs said she got woke up in the middle of the night by the sound of horses stomping their feet and galloping. We didn't find any hoof prints. She probably heard a TV or was having a bad dream or she was high as balls." (LARP and the Real Girl)
11. Ranger Rick - "You've got to respect Mother Nature. You respect her or she's gonna string you up and she'll eat your a** right through the Gore-Tex." (How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters)
10. Chief - "Their spirit monkey said so." (The Mentalists)
9. Detective Sutton - "Same tools, same cuts, same crazy." (Repo Man)
8. Cop (at speed trap) - "Well now you could do better than that." (The Third Man)
7. Sheriff - "He lived alone, which was a real shocker considering his place is full of toys." (LARP and the Real Girl)
6. Detective - "Welcome to Crazytown, population on dead guy." (Defending Your Life)
5. Jack - "Dead my a**. That's a zombie boys." (Remember the Titans)
4. Sheriff Dietrich - "Yeah you got me. I mean this killer's some kind of grade A wacko right? I mean some Satan worshipping, Anne Rice reading, gothic, psycho, vampire wannabe." (Monster Movie)
3. Detective Glass - "Agents, I was just about to give you a ring. Got to ask…do you boys chase the crazy or does the crazy chase you?" (Hunteri Heroici)
2. Sheriff - "Because there's no such thing as cattle mutilation. Cow drops, leave it in the sun…within 48 hours the bloat will split it open so clean it's just about surgical. The bodily fluids fall down into the ground and get soaked up because that's what gravity does…but hey, it could be Satan." (Bloodlust)
1. Sheriff - "These kids today with their texting and murder." (LARP and the Real Girl)
Top Law Enforcement (Major characters quotes):
Honorable Mentions:
Ballard - "Look I just want you guys out there doing what you do best. Trust me, I'll sleep better at night."(The Usual Suspects)
Deacon - "So yourself a favor. Don't talk." (Folsom Prison Blues)
Sheriff Britton - "Shoes off." (Yellow Fever)
Eliot Ness - "Who talks like that?" (Time After Time)
Eliot Ness - "Don't act like you never killed a soul before you met her pal. Something tells me you used to kill 3 saps just for a change of scenery." (Time After Time)
Eliot Ness - "Hey Untouchable!" (Time After Time)
10. Eliot Ness - "Why do you think I went after Capone in the first place? The guy had the best hooch in Chicago." (Time After Time)
9. Sheridan - "Then we get a fax from St. Louis where you're suspected of torturing and murdering a young woman. However no one could prove anything of course because supposedly you died there, but I gotta tell you something. You look pretty healthy to me." (The Usual Suspects)
8. Deacon - "Hope to see you again huh? Just not in here okay?" (Folsom Prison Blues)
7. Kathleen - "Your luck is so pressed." (The Benders)
6. Eliot Ness - "Who died? Nobody died you morbid SoB. I started doing this 'cause vampires were turning folks in Cleveland." (Time After Time)
5. Agent Valenti - "It's about a thousand miles from here. That's fast…must have flown." Agent Morris - "That or Batmobile." (Slash Fiction)
4. Jake - "Enough. Please. The only reason you're breathing free air is one of Bill's neighbors saw him steering out that boat just before you did. So we have a couple of options here. I can arrest you for impersonating government officials and hold you as material witnesses to Bill Carlton's disappearance OR we can chalk this all up to a bad day. You get into your car, you put this town in your rear view mirror, and you don't EVER darken my doorstep again." Sam: "Door #2 sounds good." Jake: "That's the one I'd pick." (Dead in the Water)
3. Eliot Ness - "How does the fill you with awe?" (Time After Time)
2. Agent Morris - "Crime spree means paperwork…lots of it…which you will be doing." (Slash Fiction)
1. Ballard - "Let's pretend for the moment you're not entirely insane." (The Usual Suspects)
Screencaps by Home of the Nutty
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