This episode of Supernatural had a lot to love as far as emotional quotes go. The brother speeches were phenomenal and quite frankly it was harder to rank today's quotes than usual. Hard to believe Andrew Dabb had such greater brother stuff in him. Kudos! Have fun choosing your own two quotes to nominate for the best quote contest. Speaking of, I added another nomination form because we stopped in the middle of season 5 this summer. In order to not spend the whole summer nominating, we need to continue on starting with I Believe the Children are Our Future. With any luck we will get season 5 done before summer hellatus begins. Any questions? Please ask below in the comments or tweet me @Dahne1.
Funny/Snarky quotes:12. Dean: "Yeah. Hey if this means icing all demons, I've got no problem gutting some devil dog and letting Calgon take me away."
11. Dean: " Work on step #2 and uh if you come across anything about hellhounds drop a dime okay because between the…the claws and the teeth and the whole invisibility thing, those b** can be real b**. I got you a present. The uh blue ones are for the headaches and the green ones are for pep. Don't OD."
10. Cindy: "Really? Keep it coming Ken Doll."
9. Dean: "Okay well, big time mojo means big time freak. So anybody have a horseshoe shoved up his a**?" Sam: "That's one way of putting it."
8. Noah: " You sing like cr** so explain the music career." Cindy: "Hello, AutoTune."
7. Dean: "I think we've still got some Jesus juice left in the trunk. Alright, I'll take care of the uh…the x-ray specs. You stay here. Do not let JR and the gang out of your sight alright?"
6. Dean: "I miss my room."
5. Cindy: "You sold your soul. Admit it." Noah: "Why the hell would you think that?" Cindy: "Because you're a walking corpse and you're married to a centerfold. I did the math." Noah: "She likes money and I'm rich. Do it again."
4. Dean (to horse): I hate you."
3. Dean: "Yeah, you had me at weird. Alright, we thinking deal?" Sam: "Best lead we've got." Dean: "Well let's go visit the Beverly Hillbillies."
2. Ellie: "Alice Cassity is a piece of something alright, but what are we going to do? She's the boss." Dean: "Drink."
1. Cindy: "Oh look. Daddy's drunk and armed. Must be Christmas."
Story-moving quotes:
12. Dean: "Crowley?" Sam: "That's what they said. Apparently he swung through town 10 years ago to the day." Dean: "So wait. Do you think Tea and Crumpets made these deals and now he's collecting?"
11. Ellie: "This wasn't a wolf. I've got to make some phone calls. The whole family's flying in for this." Sheriff: "All the Cassity's under one roof, good luck."
10. Kevin: "Basically God built a series of tests and when you've done all three you can slide the gates."
9. Noah: "What does that…how long?" Dean: "Long enough for me to stab it in its throat." Noah: "No way. No way. You can't do this. You can't…" Dean: "Yes I can. You want to know why. Because it's what I do and buddy I'm the best. See I gut Old Yeller out there and maybe just maybe you walk away. I don't? You're meat. So sit down. Shut up. And put these on."
8. Dean: "Okay listen. Okay whatever happens, whatever you hear, you need to stay in here with that door locked. Sit tight okay. This is going to sound crazy but there is something evil out there." Ellie: "I know." Dean: "You know?" Ellie: "It's coming for me."
7. Kevin: "It's a spell." Dean: "And?" Kevin: "And it's just a few words of Enochian but…" Dean: "Oh here we go." Kevin: "The spell has to be spoken after you finish each of the three trials."
6. Sam: "I want to kill a hellhound and not die. How about you?"
5. Dean: "Plan A bombed so welcome to plan B. We get some red-eyed b** in a trap and we hold the knife on her until she calls us in a pouch. Special delivery." Sam: "Yeah except when Crowley finds out that we're dialing up hell, he won't send one hellhound. He'll send a hundred. That's not a plan Dean. That's suicide."
4. Noah: "What was that thing?" Dean: "It was a hellhound. See when you sell your soul to a demon, they're the ones who come and rip it out of you."
3. Ellie: "Alice is his oldest and that's Cindy, the middle girl. She had a single on the country chart a few years ago. Then she started hitting the bottle and well, her last album was a bunch of holiday songs for dogs. My favorites were Jingle Bark Rock and Don't Pee on This Tree. Happy Arbor Day." Dean: "So she's the devil." Ellie: "Pretty much."
2. Dean: "Well hellhounds like to collect on crossroads deals so all we've got to do is track down some loser who signed over his special sauce 10 years ago. Get between him and Clifford the Big Dead Dog. Easy."
1. Kevin: "I know and I've been getting bad headaches and nose bleeds and I think made I had a small stroke but it was worth it." Sam: "What was worth it?" Kevin: "I…I figured out how to close the gates of hell."
Emotional quotes:8. Dean: "I'm nesting okay. Eat." (Sam eats the burger.) Dean: "Huh? Yeah." Sam: "Wow!" Dean: "You're welcome."
7. Sam: "Wow. Not bad." Dean: "Not bad? I haven't had my own room…ever. I am making this awesome. I've got my kick a** vinyl. I've got this killer mattress. Memory Foam. It remembers me. And it's clean too. There's no funky smell. There's no creepy motel stains."
6. Kevin: "You think I want to. Alright I hate it here. I can't leave because every demon on the planet wants to peel my face off. I can't talk to anyone except you guys or Garth when he swings by or my mom. Right. And when she calls, all she does is cry. I just….I need this to be over." Sam: "I know. I do, but trust me on this, this whole saving the word thing…it's a marathon not a sprint. You've got to take better care of yourself."
5. Sam: "Closing the gates, it's a suicide mission for you." Dean: "Sam…" Sam: "I want to slam hell shut too okay, but I want to survive it. I want to live and so should you. You have friends up here, family. Hell you even got your own room now. You were right okay. I see light at the end of this tunnel and I'm sorry you don't. I am, but it's there and if you come with me, I can take you to it."
4. Dean: "While you camp here, figure out who whored their soul, I'm going to go scout the grounds. See if I can't gank Huckleberry Hound before he makes his next move." Sam: "Wait. You're not going alone, Dean. I'm going to come with you." Dean: "Wrong." Sam: "Uh, they're on lockdown and you need backup." Dean: "No I don't." Sam: "Yes you do." Dean: "No I need you to be safe Sam okay? That's what I need."
3. Dean: "Hey mom."
2. Dean: "I'm a grunt Sam. You're not. You've always been the brains of this operation." Sam: "Dean…" Dean: "And you told me yourself that you see a way out. You see a light at the end of this ugly a** tunnel. I don't. But I'll tell you what I do know is that I'm going to die with a gun in my hand. Look that's what I have waiting for me. That's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life. Become a Men of Letters, whatever. You with a wife and kids and…and…and grandkids, living until you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra. That is my perfect ending and it's the only on that I'm going to get. So I'm going to do these trials. I'm going to do them alone. End of story. You're staying here. I'm going out there. If land shark comes knocking, you call me. If you try to follow me, I am going to put a bullet in your damn leg."
1. Sam: "I am smart and so are you. You're not a grunt Dean. You're a genius. When it comes to lore, to…you're the best damn hunter I have ever seen. Better than me. Better than dad. I believe in you Dean. So please, please believe in me too."
Eye-rollingly bad dialogue:
5. Sam: "So what? God wants us to take the SATs."
4. Ellie: "Hey, so I think you're really hot. You want to go to my room and have sex." Dean: "What?" Ellie: "Uh sorry. I don’t usually do this. I guess I'm feeling my oats."
3. Cindy: "Oh is it, four eyes? Is it enough?"
2. Sam: "Tri…trials like…uh like Law and Order?"
1. Dean: "Impressed?" Ellie: "I do like a man who can handle his meat."
-For a show that has been (wrongly) focusing on telling us that Sam is the brains and Dean is the brawn (instead of rightly saying they are both brains and brawn), what was up with making Sam purposely dense in the beginning? Why would anyone think actual judge and jury trials when Kevin was talking? Sam is way smarter than that houseboat scene made him seem.
-Ellie was like some bad teen porn fantasy. No woman talks this way even if they are laser focused on getting laid, even if it's their last night on earth and they don't have much time left. It took me completely out of the story every time and made me wonder about Dabb's relationships with women. Also Cindy using 4 eyes? What? She can be an alcoholic, self-serving idiot and still come up with an insult that doesn't remind me of elementary school. Such a waste.
Special Quote Awards:
Gamechanger Award:
Sam: "Dean, even if she can dodge Crowley, as soon as Ellie dies, her soul is earmarked for hell." Dean: "Not if we shut it down first."
-Another case of Supernatural dropping a bombshell as if it were just casual information. If this is true that souls will not be able to pass into hell after the gates are closed, what is going to happen? If they close off both heaven and hell, and they better do both if they do any, then just exactly where do they think souls will go after death? I was leaning toward the membrane theory where souls could pass into heaven or hell but nothing could get out. This quote seems to refute that theory. If this is true, where does that leave reapers and will Death be ticked off that they are once again messing with the natural order? Two simple sentences but they open up a tangled mess of mytharc.
Grrrr! Award:
Sam: "We're here to help." Noah: "Like you helped Margie?"
-Shut up you cradle-robbing pervert. I didn't see you doing anything that would help Margie. Ungrateful old geezers have to go.
Proof Your Family isn't THAT Bad Award (aka the "Supernatural Isn't a Nighttime Soap? You're Kidding" Award):
3. Cindy: "Oh I'm so sorry Margie. I didn't see you there. You're too far up on your high horse. Oh yes, but you are right. We should all take a minute and say a few words about Carl. You first. Was he a good lay?" Alice: "What?" Cindy: "Oh you didn't know? Yeah Daddy caught them going at it in the barn." Margot: "Al, it was before you two got together."2. Cindy: "Maybe Alice should marry a child. Take after her father." Noah: "Ivaga's not a child." Cindy: "Yeah right, she's a prostitute who looks like a child."
1. Cindy: "Get cancer and die old man." Noah: "You first sweetie."
-Talk about the family from hell. This is the reason why people avoid holiday dinners. At least you can take comfort that unless you are related to the devil himself or angels, your family can't be this bad.
Review:
This episode shined most in its moments instead of the overall. The brother speeches are the highlight of season 8 for me. We finally had them back on the same page and even when they disagreed we knew they had each other's backs. My biggest shock was that Andrew Dabb, who has never liked in character brothers, could write the very best brother episode of the season. It's hard to think anyone else will top it. Overall though the story was onion-thin transparent and the case of the week was lame. The family and Ellie felt ripped straight from the original Dallas and you knew who had sold their souls and which brother was going to kill the hellhound pretty much from the beginning. No surprises in this one. It was also exposition heavy and some of the dialogue was just cheesy (but not Arrow cheesy). The visual effects of Zombie Dean in particular were awesome and they moved the mytharc forward by leaps and bounds. The biggest problem I have with the episode though is actually a show runner and producer problem because I knew before the show started that I was not going to like the ending. Setting it up so that only one brother was able to do the trials instead of them sharing them or even better working together on them all was a HUGE mistake. I can't help thinking it was designed to create fandom wars and dissatisfaction. They had to know a huge chunk of the fandom was going to be unhappy and most importantly, this time both sides would have cause for their dissatisfaction. In all honesty most times brother wars are trite and silly and immature. In this case both sides could make a compelling case for why their side was getting shafted. Why purposely write to encourage brother wars when there were so many ways to avoid them this season? I am getting tired of feeling bullied and manipulated by Supernatural's production staff. Sadly how I feel about this episode is majorally colored by Jeremy Carver's decision to once again choose to tie only one brother directly into the mytharc when he could have easily tied them both in. This episode, on the strength of the brother moments alone, would have gotten a much higher grade from me if he had done so.
Screencaps by Supernatural Fans Online
My blog
My Twitter
SpoilerTV
Streaming Options
