Pretty Little Liars - Episode 3.09 Recap: If anyone belonged at Radley, it was Maya

Source: ABC Family

I honestly hope that if all the adults in Rosewood weren’t so busy sleeping with one another, they might have time to show some concern for their lunatic teenage daughters. Their sheer ignorance is the reason Radley Sanitarium isn't overflowing with more female patients.

This week’s episode begins with Aria showing Spencer a photo of Maya’s party stamp from her website, which is identical to the stamp Emily remembers seeing on someone’s wrist ‘that night.’ Spencer doesn’t want to hear any of it because she both missed the deadline for early admission to U Penn and lost Toby because she’s been so wrapped up in chasing -A. If you ask me, this was a very contrived and roundabout way to show Spencer’s concern for her future and love life, when she and Aria should have already been well aware of the stamp via Emily. However, without this scene, Cece, a U Penn alum, would have been able to come to her rescue and invite them to a party where Spencer could meet a friend of hers who works in admissions at the school.

Also that morning, the police confront Ashley at home about the court order for Hanna’s blood sample. Ashley asks the officer to lower his already low voice because Hanna is upstairs, and warns her that there are only 5 days left for Hanna to comply. The worried mother calls Veronica Hastings, and we jump to Hanna at school. There, Caleb approaches her to ask about Spencer and gives her the new password for the website. They exchange some awkward small talk and when Caleb leaves, Hanna gets a text from -A summoning her to the Grille, with a warning to show up alone to keep Caleb out of harm’s way. When Spencer sees the text, she begs Hanna not to go and asks about Mona but Hanna tells her that she hasn’t talked to Dr. Likes M. Young since Mona’s hearing. When they see Emily and Paige together, they agree that they made the right decision not to tell Emily about the website since she looks so happy.

Source: ABC Family

Outside Ezra’s apartment, Aria overhears him yelling at his brother Wes before shoving him out the door. This scene is extremely awkward, as Wes is probably the same age as Aria, but it would have been much more scandalous if he had been Ezra’s sister instead. Once he’s gone, Aria asks Ezra about “the offer” he discussed with his brother, and the one his mother made to her to end their relationship. He explains that his not so generous mother turned Indian Giver when she learned that he had sold his grandfather’s car. She claimed that it belonged to Wes after Ezra cut himself off, and though Wes gave Ezra permission to sell it, his mother wants him to buy it back, but the price has now doubled. Ezra exits in a huff and Aria is left alone in the apartment, wearing an oddly out of season skeleton tee.

Later, we see Hanna outside school ignoring a call from Wren when Emily confronts her about the website. She tells her that they managed to get in and that they found photos and videos of her and Maya. Emily’s angry that they kept it a secret, and doesn’t concede when Hanna explains that they were trying to keep her happy. She gives her the login offers to look at it with her, but Emily declines.

Meanwhile, Ashley walks out of Veronica’s office, who’s oddly absent from this episode, probably because she’s off filming Season 14 of Law and Order: SVU. I know, her character is actually played by Lesley Fera, not Mariska Hargitay, but I’m not the first viewer to compare their similar looks and cold demeanor. When Ashley steps onto the sidewalk, she spots Reverend Playa Pimp across the street and agrees to have coffee with him “sometime.”

At the Hastings house, a sullen Aria reveals that she’ll be going to Cece’s party after all now that Ezra’s ditched her, and advises Spencer that she doesn’t need to dress like she’s going to a job interview. Though she was the one asking Emily for fashion tips the week before, she plucks an outfit for Spencer in a matter of seconds. The two bond over the similarities between Ezra’s family and the Hastings’, in which Spencer tells her that she once gave her own father a haircut in his sleep after she was promised 200 dollars from her grandmother.

Source: ABC Family

When they arrive at the party with Cece, she desperately complains about how Jason won’t call her back and Aria notices that the party venue is the Kahn family cabin. Cece tells them that Noel’s older brother Eric is the one throwing the party, and confirms that they’re both meanypants. Cece gives her name to the bouncer, and the white Michael Sorrentino look-alike stamps their wrists with the same stamp from ‘that night.’ Aria and Spencer discuss that Maya would have seemed out of place at a party where everyone else is much older, and seem to have forgotten that Holden was at one of the parties as well. Cece drags them to the basement, where they meet Eric Kahn, the original from which Noel was copied. Cece explains that Stephen isn’t anywhere to be found yet, but they should pass the time with a scathing game of the oddest Truth or Dare I‘ve ever seen. Eric and Cece trade insults back and forth and Aria and Spencer plan their exit, when they see Noel walk in with Jenna. 

In her bedroom, Emily watches a video of Maya reading a poem aptly called ‘That Night’, which was clearly written about her. At this point, I just want to shake Emily and tell her to get over this psycho drama queen and focus on the total catch she‘s landed, but I didn’t want to break my TV trying. She continues to watch the increasingly creepy videos one after another when Paige walks in, reminding her that they had plans that night. Paige shares a tale of her grandfather’s geriatric indecency, which is nothing in comparison to catching your current girlfriend looking at videos of her dead ex-girlfriend, but both seem to take it well. Hang on to this one, Emily, she’s a keeper. Am I the only one that wants to know why the police haven’t questioned Emily as a suspect in Maya’s murder, or why -a 

At Hanna’s, Ashley catches her leaving for the Grille under the pretense of meeting Aria, and explains that she wants to cook for her so they can talk about the court order. She tells her daughter that she’s enlisted Veronica’s help and dismisses her to the grill, after which she calls Ted to invite him to dinner. There, she misses half of their meal to talk on the phone with Wilden and Veronica(who blocks the court order) and ends up confiding in her saintly squeeze about the drama Hanna’s gotten herself into with the police after Ted tells her that he was once married. He tells her that he would never judge her for her past and they share a rare, but awkward grown-up smooch.

Source: ABC Family

When Noel challenges Aria  to a round of Truth, they swap accusations about her relationship with Ezra and his involvement with Maya coming to their parties, and Noel tells her that there was a party ‘that night,’ but Eric spills that he and Jenna left early. Aria storms off when they call her out on the teacher scandal, and Cece tells Spencer that she should challenge Jenna to a game before she leaves. Aria calls Ezra to pick her up from the party, but Wes answers and promises to pass the message on to Ezra after he finishes talking with the guy who bought the car. How many meetings does it take to buy back a car?

Outside the Grille, Caleb catches Hanna just as she’s about to enter and reveals that he sent her the text to meet there. They drive to a dark alley, where Caleb tells her that he knows enough to be in on the -A mystery and win her back, but she tells him that she ended their romance to protect him after -A caused his mother’s car accident. Caleb insists that he’s going to come to her rescue and kisses her right then and there, throwing her jacket on the ground to be trampled on by rats and who knows what else.

Back in the basement, Spencer calls out Jenna on lying about Noel’s participation in kidnapping Emily and Jenna brings up an agreement they made when the Liars caught Jenna in her secret. Noel shares that they were the ones who found her in the diner, which explains the stamp she saw on someone’s wrist, that someone being Noel, and Jenna says that they lied about where they found Emily to keep someone else out of trouble. From the handwriting Emily remembers on the placemat, it seems as though the person who brought her there is probably a woman. It could be Paige if she’s lying about Emily running out of her house alone, but my prediction is Cece, who mysteriously showed up in the middle of all the drama with no explanation why.

Source: ABC Family

Outside, Aria waits for Ezra but finds Wes pulling up in his car to fetch her from the party. She all but accuses him of trying to get in her pants just because he tried to do something nice. Full of ourselves much? Aria gets Wes to admit that he never told Ezra that she called and he lets it slip that Ezra knocked up a girl, but their mother “took care of it” with her money. When Aria confronts Ezra about his lie of omission, he denies nothing, but doesn’t say whether Maggie got an abortion or if there’s a little Fitz running around somewhere. Aria instantly forgives him and I proceed to throw things at the TV screen. Break up, already!

When Spencer catches up with Cece, she’s just walked in with Eric and is still untangling her hair. She flips out over being abandoned and accuses her of lying about Stephen, when Cece tells her that she managed to find him and give him her application. Cece agrees to take her home, where Spencer leaves Toby a voicemail telling him that she misses him. Can somebody please explain to me how he managed to skip town in the middle of the school year and where in the world he went? And Spencer, why are your bedroom curtains still wide open? After she hangs up the phone, Spencer receives an email informing her that her application was received and she’ll know soon whether or not she was accepted. Does anyone else predict that -A will interfere somehow? What do you think he or she will blackmail Spencer with to get accepted?

In the final scene of the night, we see -A renting an apartment from a crazy cat lady, which doesn’t reveal much except that he or she is probably building another lair.

Thanks for reading, Liars! Feel free to check out my previous reviews of PLL and other shows at WatchItRae.com or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr, where I post links of my articles when they go live. Stay tuned for a recap of next week's episode, "What Lies Beneath." 

What did you think of this week's episode?