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Ringer - Episode 1.06 - The Poor Kids Do It Everyday - Review

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"Now you and your family can eat for a week."
—Juliet

Oh, Ringer, Ringer, Ringer… you were doing so well in the music department. Really! You really were. And then you had to go on and muddle it up in this episode — which easily could have been one of the darkest episodes to date. But nope. Instead, you decided it was best to use that inspirational, popish and upbeat whatever-that-is… all the way until, literally, the end when Siobhan says "I didn't want it to come to this." Really? I won't bother complaining about music on the show because it's obvious you don't listen to my very valid concerns, anyway! So what's the point? Psh! It's like debating with a wall, here. Instead, I'll just have to mute my television set and imagine a suspenseful score in my head. I tried gasps exclusively a couple of episodes ago but got lightheaded.

And I won't debate the nonsensical things, either, like if cops would honestly go all out with an anonymous tip like this (thankfully the show had Henry be the audience's voice of reason here with "Doesn't someone have to be missing for 24 hours!?"). Nor will I delve into the fact that public schools couldn't give a flying pickle about who started the fight, they'd just reprimand both parties anyway. I'm not even a bit upset at Henry grabbing Siobhan-Bridget from behind and putting his hand over her mouth for no reason. I won't reprimand Bridget for saying she isn't Siobhan in a voicemail for about the umpteenth time now. Nor will I describe how inexplicably stupid it was for Bridget to put her prints on the vase because she "believes" Henry[*]; I mean, how far is Agent Eyelashes from getting a fingerprint warrant anyway? Oh, probably never since he can't even use a search warrant correctly to find the melted spoon on the floor! (Never mind the fact that he could spot cigarette buds from about fifteen feet away…) And he can't even be bothered for obtaining a warrant to search Bodaway's place of residence. In this case, it wouldn't have mattered much because Malcolm (who I understand Bodaway needs to find out about Bridget, but who is kind of useless for both Bridget and Bodaway at this point) was being held at the strip club, but come on.

[*] Although, I did like them trying to fake us out a bit with making us think Bridget's prints were on there under false pretenses. At least it didn't take them five or so episodes to tell us the truth, unlike some other shows. That's the best thing about this show.

No, no, we won't get into any of that, because as I've said repeatedly, this show is for enjoyment, not actual thinking! This episode had two things going for it: a supposed murder and a Veronica Mars alum, so it should have been pretty awesome. Instead, it was a bit lukewarm. Regardless, let's talk about what was good about this episode (lest the previous diatribe put you off):

Juliet, for one. She's pretty much this bratty, cliché, spoiled upper east sider, and she didn't exactly change much of our view here, but at least the show decided to give her a bit more to empathize with. She didn't start the altercation with the skeleton (read: template) of a public school bad girl and she whined about it (to a professor she just met, nonetheless) but I loved her comebacks, and how she didn't hold back either. Once that girl threw her against the locker, the expression on her face (which didn't exactly match what the principal noted about her past physical violence record) had me worried for a second but then she asserted dominance and charged. Fantastic. At least we know she can hold her own and she won't be a bore to watch onscreen, beyond the obvious reason she isn't. But I would have picked up those $20. Just sayin'.

Continuing, in what pretty much everyone guessed, neither Henry nor Bridget had anything to do with Gemma's disappearance. But what does it all mean? Did Gemma, who called Andrew from outside of her home if I remember correctly, know about her impending doom? And why would Siobhan want her gone!? I believe a theory was tossed around that Hitman's Boss was the one who caused Gemma's disappearance, well he's terrible at cleaning up his mess… if in fact he had anything to do with it. These days, however, I just assume Siobhan is talking to Hitman's Boss on the other end of the phone.

And thirdly, I loved Siobhan's wackiness when talking about wasting Gemma and Andrew. It was so delirious, but infectiously so! That laugh definitely brought the tone a notch darker.

But as bad as this episode could have been, the worst part was hearing I have to wait until November 1st for a new episode! Well, darn. Guess I'll have to wait until then to dig even deeper through the web of lies and conspiracies that is Ringer. But until then, I'm going to go with: Hitman's Boss did this for Siobhan. Now we just need a reason. Sound off!

Read my other Ringer reviews:
Episode 1.01 Pilot
Episode 1.02 "She's Ruining Everything"
Episode 1.03 "If You Ever Want a French Lesson"
Episode 1.04 "It's Gonna Kill Me, But I'll Do It"
Episode 1.05 "A Whole New Kind of Bitch"
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