Big Brother Recap, Episode 5: "Ants In Your Pants"

Here is Sean Furfaro's recap of Big Brother, Episode 5.

Thursday Night’s live eviction episode crowned a new HoH in the Big Brother house, as Jordan won a cartoonish putting contest to keep the Veterans in control. Which Newbie Duo will Jordan put on the block? Which houseguest is giving the silent treatment? And who is Franklin The Turtle?

My Random Thoughts:

- In the aftermath of Keith’s elimination, Kalia talked about why she flipped and voted to keep Porsche, because of Keith’s insane behavior last week, calling out other houseguests for no reason, including her.

- Lawon was furious about Keith’s elimination, saying that he was “like a hot volcano in Hawaii gettin’ ready to erupt.” I’m not so concerned about his volcanic threats as I am confused about his decision to dress like Batman villain Two-Face for the eviction show.

He then went on to say that he was upset because “I stuck my ass out for everybody on that team”, which is a joke that pretty much writes itself. The funniest thing, though, was his declaration at the end of his mini-tirade that “It’s on”, because I don’t find that sentiment very intimidating when you whisper it.

- When the veterans were talking in the HoH room after the live show, there was a shot of Jordan putting her bra on over her pink dress. I said “what the hell is that?” and my girlfriend looked at me like I was crazy for not knowing, and then explained that’s how women get dressed when they’re in front of a group of people, by putting the bra on first and then pulling the clothes out from underneath. How the hell was I supposed to know that? Am I wrong? Is there any male reader out there who knew that, or am I just out of the loop?

- Upon seeing the newbies conferring in the Have Not Room, and talking about Porsche, Rachel told them that “some of us like Porsche, and now she’s here for a month”, before just walking out on them. Rachel is still not very big on the social game, is she? From taunting the houseguests last season with “Floaters grab a life vest!” to yelling “I’m back, bitches!” apparently every time she walks through the door of the house, she really isn’t learning how to endear herself to her housemates. She appears to be adopting the Russell Hantz school of thought that disregards the fact that even if you get to the end of the game, you still need to get these people to vote for you to win!

- Shelley told Adam to go cut a deal with the veterans to protect himself, which should have been a giant indicator that she was one of the two votes that flipped and voted with them.

- Dominic thought that there may be a chance to get Daniele on board with the newbies, which was a plan that made me laugh out loud. Remember that this is the woman who teamed up with her estranged father to get down to the final two in her season. There’s nothing about her that would indicate that she’s not loyal to her alliance-mate(s), so despite Dominic’s boyish flirty charm, I can’t think this is a plan that will work.

- Cassi had an awkward silent moment with Rachel in the kitchen, and then in the Diary Room, told us “I showed her. You messed with the wrong girl.” How exactly did you show her, Cassi? By saying nothing and eating a snack? Come on.

- I had to laugh that the first point in Jordan’s HoH letter from her family was to let her know that the new gas station and BBQ opened, because she would be excited about that.

- Brendon and Dominic’s superhero scene in the backyard was actually pretty funny. A Batman-style cartoon fight, in honour of Franklin the turtle, and not the animated icon, but instead one of those ‘just add water and grow-your-own’ dollar store garbage toys.

- Adam is scrambling, and doesn’t know how to function in this game when he has no power. It was a pathetic scene in the HoH room as he tried to get back in the good graces of the veterans. Both he and Dominic gave them the same essential argument: “I wanted to screw you guys, but since it didn’t work, and now you have control and numbers, I want to be on your side.”

- The Have/Have not competition was an obstacle course with awkward double-costumes. I liked that the Have Not’s were not determined by the team that finished last (as has generally been the case in the past), but instead by the winners of the competition choosing the Have Nots. Bringing the social game into play again...I like it.

We learned that Rachel normally likes being on the bottom, Adam apparently has a lot of back sweat, Shelley likes to cup Cassi’s breats as she pulls her up off the ground, and that Kalia is seemingly prone to random panic attacks. Brenchel won the competition, keeping the Veterans in firm control of the house, and they chose Adam, Dominic, Shelley, and Cassi as the Have Nots for the week.

On a side note, have you ever thought about how horrible a job it would be to work as part of the Big Brother Backyard Cleanup Crew after challenges? What a mess.

- It seems like Keith’s elimination ended “The Regulators”, since we heard no mention of it at all. Thank God!

- When Dominic was trying to work with Jeff and Jordan, Jeff told him "You have to climb the ladder before you get to the roof." Wouldn't a mountain analogy have been better? I don't recall anyone yelling triumphantly "I'm on the Roof!"

- So Adam and Dominic are on the block, which is not really a shocker. I think the smarter move would be to eliminate Dominic since he's the mastermind behind most of what the newbies have been trying to (unsuccessfully) do, and keeping Adam would likely make a new appreciative alliance-mate of the bacon-eating superfan. We'll see what the POV brings.

Please keep in mind that my recaps will always be based on the TV airings of Big Brother. I do not, and will not, be watching or reading any info from the live feeds. As with my Survivor and Amazing Race recaps, the Big Brother recaps should be online and live within an hour of the show ending on the East Coast.

Big Brother fans, feel free to add me on Facebook or on Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up, and you can check out the archive of recaps at Sean's Random Thoughts. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions.

Thanks for reading.

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