Secrets, Lies and Flatulence
Virginia loves to gossip, and it's written all over her face. Burt and Jimmy wants to know what.
“Tell it. Spill it. Don't fight it, let it out.”
“Dancin' Dan and Whistlin' Sue has been hooking up at the rec center. I found out from Government Conspiracy Gordon.”
Her reason. “I always go into the check cashing place next door to the pharmacy, and I pay it when I am waiting for them to refill Maw Maw's prescription, and I always remember to get her new pills when I go to the bathroom cupboard for a tampon. And since my friend has not arrived yet the gas bill cannot be late.” - Oh no!
Jimmy cannot find out about this. Virginia is worried that she won't be able to make fun of his unplanned pregnancy anymore. So she goes to the free clinic to make sure. There she bumps into Sabrina who also had a pregnancy scare. While Virginia finds out that she is not pregnant, Sabrina has to check again later in the week. She does not want Jimmy to know either, she keeps Virginia from squealing on her with blackmail.
“If you blab my secret, I'll blab yours.”
Virginia is pleased.
Jimmy finds out about Viginia anyway by mistake.
"How could you two be so unresponsible!"
“We are responsible. We are also passionate and spontaneous.”
Aside from being awesome American Gladiator names, they must not have another baby. Jimmy wants one of them fixed or spayed. It's a personal decision they put to a family vote. Jimmy is outvoted until Maw Maw becomes lucid enough to side with Jimmy.
“We need another baby like we need a gorilla throwing fireworks.”
Once Virginia switch sides, they flip a coin to see who will be it. She calls it. “Heads I win, tails you lose.” No wonder Burt always lose at coin tosses.
Vasetomy day. Thinking they are going to the arcade, Burt is tricked into going to the strip mall to the wise-cracking doctor (Sam McMurray) who will do the procedure for free if they cleaned his pool for a year. If that is not awkward enough, the doctor, who also teaches English as a second language, holds an impromptu class, who was watching and recording Burt.
Under sedation, Burt reminisces about happy times with Jimmy, the whole time Jimmy gets an eyeful shaving his private parts. Begin montage of the Chance family tradition. We see little Jimmy pull Burt's “finger” all the way into adulthood. Burt makes one final request before he goes under the knife.
“Pull my finger.”
“No... I had to drag you in from the car. I had to hold you down on the bed. I had to shave you below your waist. I'm not lifting, moving, tugging, pulling anything of yours today. I'm going to the bathroom to wash my eyes.”
Since Virginia's secret is out, there was nothing that will keep her from telling Sabrina's secret. She offers up another one, losing her and Burt's sex tape, but blabs on herself to protect Sabrina's secret. Sabrina has no choice now but to do another self pregnancy test at the grocery store. She doesn't have a baby. Virginia doesn't have a secret. Now they can be friends.
Burt hides out in the photo booth at the arcade. He ran off not because he was scared, but because Jimmy refused to pull his finger. Father and son have a heart to heart while getting their pictures taken. Jimmy finds out what really is bothering him.
“I don't know if you'll always be my buddy. I am like a Mad magazine. My audience is a pretty specific age... You have a kid of your own. You might be outgrowing the Burt Show. Having you is the best thing that happened to me. If you outgrew me, I like to have the option to make another little buddy.”
As soon as Jimmy assures him that he truly had a buddy for life, Burt went through with the vasectomy.
And Jimmy learned that he is a mistake his parents would gladly make again, just like Hope is to him. We see him happily starts the Chance family tradition with her.
Let's not forget...
The 13th astrological sign
"We're so careful, it's not even that fun."
Burt's parents were third cousins.
"It's like I am floating and sinking at the same time. I'm flinking."
"Pac-Man, that's forever."
