Thanks to Michael for the heads up.
The four guys are sitting around the coffee table, looking through comic books. Raj says, you know who the bravest person in the comic books are? The guy who has to give (some superhero that I forgot her name) a bikini wax. Howard says no, it’s Captain America’s immigrant gardener who doesn’t have his papers. Leonard says that it’s the guy who has to use the bathroom after The Thing. Sheldon says that it’s the guy who has to give Wolverine a prostrate exam.
Howard (or maybe Raj?) then says no, it’s the guy who has his prostrate exam done by Wolverine. Sheldon says now that’s ridiculous, Wolverine has never shone any interest in ensuring the prostrate health of others.
The phone rings, Sheldon answers it, and says yes, the elevator is broken, you’ll have to take the stairs. Then he says yes, you can take them, pizza was invented in (whatever the year), and the elevator wasn’t invented until (later year), so for 300 years pizza delivery men had to take the stairs - so you can carry on that tradition.
He hangs up the phone, and Leonard gets up and says he’s gonna go get Penny while the delivery man spits in their food, and leaves. Raj asks something else that had to do with Wolverine getting a prostrate exam, which the guys dismissed.
Scene 2 - Hallway (pre-taped)
Leonard knocks on Penny’s apartment door, and Penny’s dad, Wyatt, answers it (late on Leonard just calls him Wyatt, so it seems like that’s his first name). Leonard’s confused, and asks if Penny’s there. Wyatt says, oh, you must be Leonard! Leonard says yeah, and Wyatt pats him on the back, and says nice to meet you, son. Leonard says that some context would be helpful. Penny comes up and introduces Leonard to her dad, and Leonard says context, good.
Wyatt asks if Leonard wants to come in, but Penny says no, he was just stopping by to say hi. And then she says, bye sweetie!, and wraps her arms around Leonard’s neck, gives him a big kiss, and then sort of pushes him backwards and closes the door.
Leonard said something else as he started to walk back to his apartment, but there was so much laughter that I couldn’t hear it.
Scene 3 - Guy’s apartment
Raj is stacking some comic books, and Sheldon asks him if he’s sure he has enough. Sheldon says that Raj will be watching the telescope for 12 hours, but he only has 7 hours worth of comic book reading there. And that’s including the difficulty Raj has with American comic-book idioms.
Raj turns to Howard and asks if that was racist, because it felt racist. Howard says no, Sheldon was saying that Raj was illiterate, not his race. Raj smiles, and says ok then. Then Raj tells Sheldon that Howard will be stopping by, and they’re going to play intergalactic battleship, and Indian Monopoly.
Sheldon says that he’s never liked the various versions of Monopoly, just the classics, regular and Klingon. Howard says that Indian monopoly is basically like regular Monopoly, only instead of dollars you have rupees, and instead of hotels you build call centers, and when you draw a chance card, you might die from some disease. And Howard tells Raj that, by the way, was racist.
It was HIARIOUS watching them try to get through this scene. On both of the first two takes, there was so much laughing from the audience after the “call center” line that the guys ended up laughing too, and they couldn’t finish the scene. And then when they tried a third time, it was supposed to start with Jim’s line, but he didn’t realize it, so on “Action!” all three of them were looking at their comic books, and no one was talking.
Then Leonard comes back in, and says you guys will never guess what just happened. Sheldon looks up and says that Leonard walked through a portal in the hallway that transported him five thousands years into the future, where he used the advanced technology to come back with a time machine, and now he’s going to take them all to the year 7010 to some place that had flying telepathic dolphins. Leonard says no, and Sheldon’s disappointed.
On one take, shortly after Leonard’s entrance, there was a clattering sound from the stage; something spilled or got knocked over or something. Johnny had been speaking, but he looked over and sort of jokingly asked, “Is everyone okay?”
Leonard says that Penny kissed him, and Sheldon asks why would they ever guess that? I think Raj asked what kind of kiss it was, and Leonard said it was a really big one, on the lips, and says how she’d introduced him to her dad, and then shut the door in his face afterwards. Howard asks if he’s sure she wasn’t going for his cheek, and he turned and she got his lips accidentally, cause that happens all the time with his mom. Leonard says no, it wasn’t definitely wasn’t that.
Then Howard says maybe she was trying to send him a signal - like this man isn’t really my father, and I’m going to do something really insane so Leonard will call 911. Leonard says it’s not insane, and that she used to kiss him all the time. Sheldon says that someone said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over hoping for different results; so by that definition, Penny is coo-coo for Coco Puffs.
Leonard says something else about Penny, and Howard leans back in his chair and says something about how it’s good to hear the classics again, Leonard whining about Penny. Raj says oh, do the “Our babies will be smart and beautiful,” cause that always makes him laugh.
There’s a knock at the door, and Leonard gets up to answer it, saying he doesn’t know sometimes why he talks to them. Sheldon says if it makes him feel any better, they don’t always listen. It’s Penny at the door, who asks Leonard if she can talk to him out in the hallway; Leonard says sure, and goes outside with her.
On the second take when he shut the door, Johnny accidentally got his hands or fingers caught between the door and the frame. I couldn’t tell at first what had gone wrong, but Jim looked up and asked “Are you okay?” (I thought at first that maybe Kaley had tripped or something), then Johnny opened the door back up and shook his hand, to shot it had gotten hurt, but he said he was fine. A few people laughed, but Jim said something like, “It’s not funny when someone’s hurt.”
On the first take after this, Sheldon comments that they’re never going to get their pizza. Then later they went back for a quick pick-up, and changed it to Sheldon saying that he bet the pizza delivery guy went through the portal in the hallway.
Out in the hallway, Penny says to Leonard, so you’re probably wondering what that was all about. Leonard asks, the kissing thing? Not really, woman do that to him all the time. Penny says that she told her dad that they got back together, and Leonard asks why. She says that he’s the only boyfriend her parents have ever approved of, he’s a scientist, went to college, doesn’t have a neck tattoo, or outstanding warrant, or a baby… And Leonard asks, what kind of guys did you date? Penny shrugs and says just guys.
But she says that her dad kept asking about Leonard, how he’s doing, blah blah blah Leonard, so she finally told him that they’re back together just to get him off her case.
Then on a take they changed this line, and first Kaley said, quoting her dad, “I bet Leonard never tipped a cow over on itself.” They stopped her, and she was like, that was wrong? And she pointed to the audience, and said, “They laughed!” So they showed her the right line, and she was like, ok, I got it now. But when she tried again, she only got the first few words before messing up again, and Johnny held up his index finger and thumb (like, so close!). And he tried to tell her something, but she jokingly told him to shut up. On the third take she got it right, “I bet Leonard never tipped a cow over on himself.”
Leonard was smiling as Penny talked about how much her parents liked him, and then he leans back against the door and asks how they got back together. Penny just asks, what? And he asks if she apologized, if she had to woo him. Penny crosses her arms and says no, she whistled and he came running. Leonard shook his head and says he doesn’t think so. Penny asks why it matters, and he says that if they fake-got-back-together, that’s not how it fake-happened.
Penny asks if he’ll just go along with it, and Leonard basically asks so you want me to help trick your dad… with kissing and stuff, cause that sounds good to him.
Then Penny’s dad comes out from Penny’s apartment, and Leonard quickly grabs Penny and starts to kiss her. Penny’s only half kissing him back, and then sort of trying to push him away from her, and saying, not in front of my dad!
But her dad says no, that’s fine. He tells Leonard that he was going to take Penny out for steak, and asks Leonard if he’d like to come with them. Penny quickly says no, he can’t he has work. Leonard says yeah, he does… but he can blow that off to spend time with her, cause that’s the kind of boyfriend he is. And then he goes in to kiss her again (both of these are long kisses), and Penny’s basically the same as the first time, half-heartedly putting on the show for her dad, but trying to get Leonard to stop at the same time.
They did the scene a few times, and once between takes Johnny looked up onto the audience and waved and said, “Hi Mr. Cuoco!” And Kaley laughed, and said something about her dad. A little later Johnny and Kaley were pointing up into the audience, showing Keith where Kaley’s dad was sitting.
Scene 4 - Some science office
Howard and Raj are playing battleship. Howard guesses B7, and Raj says miss. Howard says that B6 was a hit, and B8 was a hit, part of his spaceship has to be on B7! Raj says not if it has a hole in the middle. Howard asks what kind of spaceship has a hole in the middle, and Raj says a donut/bagel shaped one.
Then Bernadette comes in. Raj whispers to Howard, who tells him that he invited her. Bernadette asks where the telescope is, and Howard tells her that it’s in Hawaii, but Raj can control it from there. Howard shows her TV screens where they’re watching to see if the star dims, which would indicate that it has a planet circling it. Bernadette says so basically they’re just watching the TV screen waiting for something to happen, and Howard says that he did the same thing when they rented The Notebook.
Raj gets up and whispers to Howard, and Howard says yes, (some actress name) is a legend. Then Howard tells Bernadette that she better open the wine, before he ends up with swimmer’s ear. So Bernadette walks to the back of the office to pour the drinks, and Raj quietly tells Howard that he can’t drink, he’s on the brink of a potentially big scientific discover.
Howard tells him that Galileo drank all the time while making discoveries. Raj asks how Howard knows that. Howard says that he was Italian, it’s probably true. Raj asks if everything Howard says has to be racist. And I think it’s here that Raj asks why when he said that the sunglasses made Howard’s nose look big, he was being racist, but Howard’s comments aren’t racist; Howard says it’s cause what he says is funny.
Raj is still upset that Howard invited Bernadette, but Howard says that she’s his girlfriend, and Raj needs to bond with her, like he did with Howard’s mom. Raj says that he can’t stand Howard’s mom. Howard says yeah, but she stopped calling you Slum Dog Millionaire, and Raj says yeah, that was good.
Bernadette comes up with the three glasses of wine and hands them each one. Right before they take a drink, she says wait!! Then after a second, never mind, it’s fine. Howard asks what that was about, and she says that she was working with penicillin-resistant gonorrhea, and was trying to remember if she’d washed her hands.
On the first take, the guys both looked weary of their drinks, and Raj was watching Howard, waiting for him to take a drink before he drank out of his cup. On the second take, Raj had already taken a sip, so then he spit it back into his cup after Bernadette’s explanation.
Scene 5 - Car
The actual scene was taped yesterday, but they reenacted the scene for us by setting up chairs for the car. Penny’s dad was driving, Leonard was in the passenger seat, and Penny was in the back. Basically Penny’s dad was telling Leonard about some of the idiots Penny had dated in the past. One guy was trying to turn farm waste into useable energy; Leonard said some people actually do that, and Penny said, see, Leonard says it’s real! But then Wyatt said yeah, but this guy was just mixing manure with water and putting it in his mom’s car. And there was another guy who wanted to get beer pong into the Olympics. Penny says he was joking about that, but Wyatt says that the petition looked real.
Leonard’s laughing along with Wyatt, while Penny’s just annoyed in the back. Wyatt says that it’s good that she finally found herself a keeper. And then Leonard looks back at Penny and says, you hear that? I’m a keeper.
And then Kaley pointed forward, and said something like, “Big speed bump ahead!” and all three of them jumped up in their seats. Guess she really likes those speed bumps, haha.
Scene 6 - Office
Howard is moving his piece for Monopoly - he passes go and gets 2000 rupees, but then he stops when he gets to the golden cow, and sort of laughs about that. Raj asks Bernadette if she can tell her boyfriend to stop making fun of cows, and she says that it’s no use, once he gets on a joke he doesn’t let it go.
Raj says yeah, like his haircut joke. Bernadette nods, and asks Raj, “Did you get a haircut?” And Raj says “No, I cut all my hair!” Bernadette laughs, but then turns to Howard and assures him that it’s still funny. Then Raj and Bernadette talk about how Howard always gets the same fortune from fortune cookies, and Bernadette imitates Howard opening and reading the fortune; on the first take it was, “Confucius says you are about to eat a fortune cookie,” then it was changed to, “Help! I’m trapped in a fortune cookie factory.”
Howard says ok, that’s enough making fun of him. Raj says right, let’s make fun of his mom! So then Raj imitates Mrs. Wolowitz, yelling something about her feet I think? And then Bernadette imitated her (doing a REALLY good job!), asking Howard for help cause she got stuck in the bathtub again.
Source: Full Report @ Fan Forum
The Big Bang Theory - Episode 4.09 - The Boyfriend Complexity - Full Episode Synopsis [MAJOR SPOILERS]
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