Prison Break - Progeny - Review: "Reprehensible" + POLL

If you’ve read anything I’ve written about Prison Break this season you won’t believe the following statement: I want this revival to be good. I don’t want to be watching a show that I have even a hint of an attachment to flounder and embarrass itself in the way that the revival often has. Better yet, I don’t really want to be writing about such a show because it becomes exasperating to be writing the same negative things every week for something that simply will not learn its lesson.

Which brings us to “Progeny”. The definition of insanity - or at least the perhaps Einstein quote that is not really the definition - is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Going by that, Prison Break is absolutely deserving of a padded cell and a straitjacket, because of its insistence that cliffhangers insinuating the death of main characters are a good idea. The show is insistent that the best way to hook people is to tease them by suggesting one or more of their favourite characters has just bitten the dust. But it is not so, and this deluded belief is, in actuality, going a long way toward killing a show that has very little fuel left in the tank.

What makes it so unfortunate is that the remainder of “Progeny” suggests that the needle hasn’t quite hit empty just yet, but by the time the credits roll, one lucky friend is about to drive to the middle of nowhere with a big red fuel canister.

The past three episodes have all ended with hints that Michael or some of his friends/family are about to perish, either through antifreeze poisoning, a missile strike, and now a gunshot. One was bad enough. But three consecutive cliffhangers that are, essentially, the same? Reprehensible.

The Walking Dead came under a lot of criticism for a cliffhanger last April that saw one of its main cast brutally murdered just off-camera, leaving fans waiting to learn the deceased’s identity for six months. Although this isn’t as infuriating as that was, it certainly evoked memories of the zombie drama’s great incompetence, as if the Prison Break creative team looked at that moment and considered it one of Peak TV’s great accomplishments before being overcome with an unhealthy and crazed need to replicate it.

A&W having shot one of Michael or his son is a fine plot point, but leaving the victim unknown for the audience sucks every last ounce of intrigue from it. Make viewers contemplate the idea that Mike was just shot. Make viewers contemplate the idea that Michael was just shot. Make viewers contemplate what happens next, the ramifications of the shooting - both physically and emotionally, for all involved - and what the collection of main characters’ response will be. Instead, the prevailing thought will simply be who was shot, and that is absurdly dull (*).

(*) But it is only absurdly dull on reflection because the only way my brain knew how to process that utter disgrace of a cliffhanger was to immediately throw my earphones at the screen.

And this isn’t even the worst thing. The worst thing is that when the show returns next week for its finale, chances are that A&W didn’t actually kill Michael or his son, but that she simply wounded one of them. Or she shot another character who appeared out of quite literally nowhere. Either of those options sounds laughably dumb, but this entire situation is already so laughably dumb that it probably doesn’t even matter anymore.

It’s very disappointing, however, because the remainder of the episode - certainly not lacking in issues - was, on the whole, solid. It showed the side of Prison Break that made it so beloved in the first place: Michael’s superhumanly unrealistic genius. The cat and mouse game he played with Jacob gave the hour a heightened pace the previous seven episodes lacked, and it was a reminder that seeing him enact a plan with so many different moving parts meant to distract his enemy is a lot of fun. Jacob makes for a worthy opponent; he knows so much about Michael, and he is always planning so far ahead, that defeating him is immensely tricky. Even knowing our lead will get the upper hand for much of proceedings, the show still manages to make it interesting when he reveals each piece of the plan, or when he leads Jacob into a small trap.

In particular, the lunch date meet with ‘Sara’ was the most intriguing scene on display. Jacob’s rolling improvisation was never going to match Michael’s thought-out scheme, but it was fun to see him try, especially as we attempt to figure out said scheme. Though even that was marred by a grave piece of illogical filming, with A&W managing to lose sight of Lincoln once the bus passed in front of our view of him, despite her walking behind him along a straight stretch of sidewalk.

As the threads unravelled, there was a hint that the show, while likely beyond salvation, could at least muster up enough competency to round out the season on something of a higher note. I didn’t see coming that Jacob drew the map, not Mike, and that he had intentionally led his adversary to the house. It was a clever twist in a season desperately in need of even the slightest strand of intelligence. Of course, all of that went to hell once the camera cut to show just a blood-stained window. But it was fun for the half-an-hour it lasted.

What “Progeny” says about Prison Break isn’t in the slightest bit positive. The message it conveys is that even when presenting some semblance of competency, its natural instinct is to lead viewers astray and leave them on edge with a pointlessly stupid cliffhanger that undermines any and all of the good work that came before it.

Last week, FOX CEO Gary Newman said that there were no current plans for another season of Prison Break. This can only be treated as a good thing. And, even if more of the show is made, after next week’s finale, I’m permanently done. There’s only so much time that can be devoted to a show incapable of understanding why it works and instead resorting to inane trickery and dumb stunts to attract its audience. One more hour of that is just about enough.

Some other thoughts:

• Lincoln also got shot by Luca Abruzzi (Leo Rano), far less charismatic than his father (Peter Stormare), to whom he owed the $100,000. The episode doesn’t make clear where he got shot but, chances are, he’ll be just fine.

• T-Bag was once again back, and he’s… Whip’s father? That one came ridiculously out of left field, although it explains exactly why Michael chose David Martin to be his whip hand. My big question is who Michael wants T-Bag to kill. Jacob seems like too obvious a choice.

• Van Gogh is eager to get out of 21 Void, even as A&W suggests it to be impossible. I can’t see either of them making it out of the finale alive.

• Lincoln and Sheba kissed, the natural progression of a relationship that began with two strangers hating each other and found a middle ground when he saved her life. Note the very loose use of the word “natural”.

• Those origami swans in the drain in the opening credits were ones Michael sent to Sara, but Jacob intercepted and disposed of.

What did everyone think of “Progeny”? Leave your thoughts in the comments and be sure to vote in our poll below!